Eurovision: The Results

[RedToothBrush]

You've Survived Flat Madge.

Well Done.

Here are the finalists

1. Malta - Maltese Molly And Her Pet Chameleon and Support Socks
2. Albania - Rylan’s Nashers Channel Khalessi Yodelling
3. Czech Republic - The Wiggles EuroFwend
4. Germany - Meghan Markle and LeAnn Rimes
5. Russia - Vanity Shower Screens
6. Denmark - Ladders and Clouds
7. San Marino - Right Said Fred Goes to Benidorm
8. North Macedonia - Mel Off Eastenders
9. Sweden - Gospel Lionel Richie

10. Slovenia - Dull and In Love. Apparently. Snore. Slow-venia. Creepy 11. Cyprus - Chandelier pants and PVC 12. Netherlands - A Nice Moody Ballad from Duncan the Dutchman 13. Greece - Nasally Don't Tell The Bride. 14. Israel - Is it Ross or Howard? What Freddie Mercury would have looked like had Borat played him. Is it David Blaine? 15. Norway - Ken The Spirited Club Style Yoiker. Come on Barbie! 16. United Kingdom - The John Lewis Christmas Ad 2019 17. Iceland - Do I Really Need to Remind You?!! Mad Max the Musical. 18. Estonia - Mr Wholesome with the Disappearing Guitar 19. Belarus - Britney Belarus 20. Azerbaijan - Shut Up! Lazzzzeerrrssss 21. France - Wigman. Gaga's Little Bro. 22. Italy - It wasn't me. Shaggy 2.0 23. Serbia - Wicked Ice Queen Angelina Jolie's Stunt Leg 24. Switzerland - Red Dirty Dancers and Rylan’s Outfit 25. Australia - Glenda The Good Witch on a Bouncy Stick. 26. Spain - Mel C and Bryan Adams Changing Rooms on IKEA Kallax Shelves

I was the clear winner in my household tonight (DH concocted a very elaborate spreadsheet system).

Based on my superior knowledge I think that our Song for Europe candidate 2020 should be the extremely talented and popular Nick Knowles.

Glad the bookies could not process my bet - I would have lost.
I thought Australia would win because of staging and order of performance (bookies had them 4th and they came in 9th)
I thought Germany would come last. Very surprised by UK being there - unfair and undeserved. I am vindicated by Germany getting 0 from the televote though - it wasn't just me!

Oh God yes Lurlene
Nick Knowles in his budgie smugglers channelling Barry White/Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia. Why not?! Biffy Clyro can do backing

I'm not surprised the UK came last. He started badly and though he got better and more confident as the song went on, it was awful. He had no styling, he looked like my hairdresser does at work before he changes into his comfy trousers. And the song was forgettable or made forgettable.

I watched and just thought "Did we have no one else?"

We could have had the same song dione but with two line dancing cowboys. I sulked at the time

Oh jesus that was awful.

I just watched that RageAgainst and have decided that the Powers That Be just don't want us to win. Ever!

Back in 1985 a music teacher in my school entered a Song For Europe. It was as good as our entry this year. And rightly rejected before it got anywhere near a screen.

Somebody's got a dodgy bet going or something. I feel a bit sorry for Michael(?) and I hope he had a brilliant experience, but it's clear that no one with any musical, artistic or production skill was allowed anywhere near him.

But..but cowboys red cowboys!

I was dozing during the programme and assumed it was a Madonna drag act purposely being flat! Can't believe I've just read it was actually her!

Norway were robbed, public loved them, so called experts didn’t

Dammit. It's 4am and I can't sleep again.
Am going to number crunch the votes in a bid to tire myself out.

Juries had the 41 ranked as follows: sf = semis non qualifiers

1 Sweden
2 N Macedonia
3 Netherlands
4 Italy
5 Azerbaijan
6 Australia
7 Czech rep
8 Switzerland
9 Russia
10 Poland SF
11 Hungary SF
12 Lithuania SF
13 Moldova SF
14 Malta
15 Romania SF
16 Belgium
17 Cyprus
17= Denmark
19 France
20 Croatia SF
21 Georgia SF
22 Portugal SF
23 Latvia SF
24 Armenia SF
25 Iceland
26 Norway
26= Greece
28 Slovenia
28 = Montenegro SF
30 Albania
31 Serbia
=31Estonia
33 Germany
34 Finland SF
35 Austria SF
36 Belarus
37 San Marino
=37 Ireland SF
39 UK
40 Israel
41 Spain

Some were sad that Poland did not make it through

I was sad for Romania and particularly for Portugal

I knew we were going to get fuck all, but Sweden deserved to win...there song was good...

Public vote alone, Norway won it

Public Vote

1 Norway
2 Netherlands
3 Italy
4 Russia
5 Switzerland
6 Iceland
7 Australia
8 Azerbaijan
9 Sweden
10 San Marino
11 Slovenia
12 N Macedonia
13 Serbia
14 Spain
15 Denmark
16 Estonia
17 Albania
18 France
19 Israel
20 Cyprus
21 Greece
22 Malta
23 Belarus
24 Czech Republic
25 UK
26 Germany

Fwend of a Fwend was almost completely devoid of melody. And appeal.

There were apparently technical problems with the sound in Norway 's jury vote performance. They put in an official complaint and a request to perform again which were refused. It looks as though it cost them.

Sounds mainly okay to me (some fadeout when girl singing?) but if that is the case that's a great shame. The crowd still loving it I see.

It's so strange that the jury vote bloody loved Sweden but only gave UK 13 points when both songs written by same bloke!

I have a theory about that.

He kept the good song for himself and palmed the reject off on the UK.

There were also technical difficulties when jury heard UK iirc

Uk was ok and sweet but a bit dull compared to others, would never stand out or be memorable

IMO it should be based on purely public vote, who cares what so called experts think. Their opinion is so far from the general public as shown tonight

math
That said, UK had the first option to have Austria's last year (Cesar Sampson and reminded me of Marlon Roudette's New Age) and rejected it.

Eejits, it was decent. Can the writers/artists put their songs/themselves up for tender or apply to any country they have a link with? Any idea how it works?

Lovely acoustic version of tonight's winner. Much nicer than the ESC performance imo.

Heh, you really don't want to know what the creators of Autotune make per record or per (or should that be poor) performance. It's really easy to go from mic -> Autotune -> speakers. It's being done a lot nowadays rather than the oldschool mime whilst "proper" version plays over you... the figures are incredible!

It could revert back to that Alice and I happen to agree that Norway were fab but the national juries were introduced 2009 to try and ease the effect of the bloc voting that made Terry Wogan step down 2008/also expats affecting the votes when it is solely televote. They brought in national juries ten years ago to try and reduce those trends/national discrimination.