The EUROVISION Song Contest - THE FINAL

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Pour yourself a drink, tuck into your snack and join us for the Final of the Eurovision Song Contest.

All welcome, though sharp wit and a sense of humour, necessary.

Tonight's Running Order

1. Malta
2. Albania
3. Czech Republic
4. Germany
5. Russia
6. Denmark
7. San Marino
8. North Macedonia
9. Sweden

10. Slovenia 11. Cyprus 12. Netherlands 13. Greece 14. Israel 15. Norway 16. United Kingdom 17. Iceland 18. Estonia 19. Belarus 20. Azerbaijan 21. France 22. Italy 23. Serbia 24. Switzerland 25. Australia 26. Spain

Good luck to Michael Rice. We hope you hit the heady heights of mid table medocrity (Lets be realistic, we are the UK! Anything better is a bonus!)

And don't forget your toast to Terry during Song 9.

Cyprus, the local dominatrix called and wants her outfit back

I think she's raided Madonnas old wardrobe

The CHAFING

I love Graham's an like euphemisms : 'it's not a sitting down outfit'

How did she get into those boots?

Oh I love this look on her

Debbie Harry 2.0

Terry started drinking at song 9 and not before to avoid being totally pissed by the end.

That should have said 'nan like'

Chandelier knickers. Draughty.

Why are her backing dancers dressed as cowboys?

This outfit looks rather sweaty and the beading is just odd

not sure what to make of that. yes a bit creepy and intense. he looks young.

oh plastic fantastic!!

no its not a sitting down outfit !

Chandelier pants! Bet sitting down is interesting...

We'll see Meghan in that get up next week.

Pfft Myimaginarycathasfleas big misery moo.

She’s a bit Fearne Cotton does BDSM

WTF is she wearing? Did she miss the wear white note?

I thought Madonna was the interval act?

Whoever asked about number 9- sir terry always warned graham not to have a drink until that point

Poundland Madonna for Cyprus

Chandelier pants

Ellie Goulding stole one of Beyonce's outfits!

Diamanté nappy

Is that Lowri Turner?