Fleabag - I'm disappointed

[Tehstean]

I wanted to like this, I really did. It sounded great, with strong female leads - yay!

I have only watched the first two episodes but can't get over the anal sex stuff in the first episode. I hate that the writing normalised this. And normalised her finding a sex act painful but carrying on anyway. I don't want my kids to see this as standard issue casual sex, which starting a new programme with this scene does.

I'm really saddened that a programme I thought would be great for women has to feature painful casual anal sex, carried out by someone who doesn't even ask explicit consent in it. It has stopped me wanting to watch more as I now can't empathise with the lead character and also feel her role model status is significantly compromised.

Is it just me being an uptight killjoy, or did anyone else think - what a shame?

It is one of the best tv shows ever.
But you have to keep going, I thought exactly the same as you in the first couple of episodes but actually pwb is making some pretty powerful statements about what it means to be a woman today and she does it with great humour and pathos. The terrible choices are just that and they have a point!

Loved Fleabag, wasn’t sure at first but was soon hooked. I watched it first and really didn’t think it would be my dh cup of tea, but he really enjoyed it too!

@Tehstean
I'm glad I'm not the only one who didn't enjoy it.
I watched 2 or 3 episodes and decided it wasn't for me.
I don't get the love for it.

I didn't get the impression it was painful. She didn't even say ow. She said ohhhh. Could be pleasure, could be exclaiming at a new sensation.

She's not mean to be a role model.

It wasn't for me either. I stopped after the first episode. For me it was just because I'm not interested in watching something (yet another thing) about a privlidged white Londoner.

I didn’t like it either. Just seemed very smug and complacent to me. Haven’t read the thread though (MN capital offence) so will do so now.

@Flatdisco

It wasn't for me either. I stopped after the first episode. For me it was just because I'm not interested in watching something (yet another thing) about a privlidged white Londoner.

Privileged white londoner with her grotty flat, owns a cafe that is going bankrupt and her dad who has let their stepmother who he is fucking after her mother's death make them strangers in their childhood home and won't even lend his daughter the money to help her.

Aye. Privileged londoner right there.

It’s been talked up to a ridiculous extent. I’ve seen the live show as well but still don’t know everyone thinks it’s so amazing. I feel like i have to remain silent in the face of such overwhelming platitudes! I think it’s a thin story and not even half as good as people say it is. I also thought Killing Eve was borderline-nonsensical shite, so what do I know

I didn't like it. Hated everyone and gave up on it.

I liked it. My mum gave up after 15 min in disgust.

The early episodes are an uncomfortable watch though. They're meant to be, I think.

God forbid a woman should like anal sex and wanking!!!!

It's a brilliant show - fleabag is a complex multidimensional character dealing with significant trauma in a highly imperfect way. Women don't have to be role models for their stories to be worthwhile I would recommend this programme to anyone who has behaved badly and come to regret it.

This is a zombie thread but if anyone hasn't seen Fleabag please don't be put off by reading this. It was hugely popular for a reason

i thoguht the second series was much better than the first.
although i went to see the show of it in the theatre and was disappointed tbh.

the first episode of teh second series is an utter joy. have you tried that one? less anal refs. (makes me wince even typing it)

Like many others, I turned off after trying episode 1 - for me it was the 4th wall thing - I just can’t bear it when someone talks directly to me!! However, having friends bang on and oooon about how good it was I thought I must be missing something. And it’s bloody brilliant. They all kept talking about the hot priest too, and I’m like “what Moriarty? Nah, I’m ok thanks” but even he has convinced me! Or maybe it’s her reaction to him that has turned me. Red fucking hot.

@Arrowheart

God forbid a woman should like anal sex and wanking!!!!

Oh I know. I hadn't got to that yet but clearly loads of pearl clutching.

I don’t think it’s the depiction of a woman enjoying anal sex that’s off putting, but how it is done.

The man doesn’t ask her consent, and ‘moves towards her arsehole’ and she has an inner monologue indicating that actually she doesn’t really want to engage in anal sex, but is ‘drunk and he made the effort of coming over.’

As I said, I really love the show and actually felt this was a powerful comment on how women can feel pressured into sexual acts, but I wouldn’t say it’s about enjoying anal sex, and it can be disturbing if you thought it would be a comedy.

Oh yes that is a good point.

The masturbating though I found her boyfriend Harry disturbing as he dumped her once for masturbating in bed in her own flat. She can do what she wants. He objected to her doing it

@chardiej

All this, and Fleabag, reminds me of Germaine Greer's most famous statement about women having very little idea of how much men hate them.

Just because it's famous doesn't make it fact.