Eurovision 2018: Stage Invasion take two!

[acatcalledjohn]

As you were.

eurovisionworld.com
Here’s the site with the voting - it’s a bit complex

Oh well. Next year will be the same - I honestly believe the UK should withdraw funding. Let another country get an automatic pass and charge them for it.

Or - just have the tele vote / they differ so much from the jury votes. Just have one and make it less complex.

I think we take not winning far too personally and its not due to not liking us. Israel is hardly uncontroversial but won because the performance was great and they deserved it.

Russia nearly won in the same year a civilian plane was shot out of the air with allegedly, their own rockets supplied to rebels. But their entry was also good (if not to my taste) I think the last win for Israel for example was 1998 but we also won the previous year in 1997.

Theres a list of countries that have never won. Cyprus, Malta Iceland, Hungary are just a few. I think last year was the first time Portugal ever one.

Its not necessarily about us but more about the quality of our acts. Take Ireland, I find their entries to be better than ours most of the time. I think that was true this time as well. They had something to say.

Won.

We were good at it though ( once) Our heyday of winning is rolled out the same as the 1966 World Cup is when that rolls round!

The problem is that we have an internationally recognised music scene in the UK. Most of the other European countries don't, so Eurovision is their biggest platform. If we were to put up our biggest artists, we'd be putting people like Adele up. She'd never in a million years do Eurovision. We're always going to be putting up has beens or backing singers because the most talented people from this country who want to break the music scene want to break America, not the Euro pop scene. I do think we should stop paying and go through the qualifying stages though. It gives people more of a chance to ear the song and stops the annual humiliation of never getting any votes all the time!

hear the song, not ear the song!

We're always going to be putting up has beens or backing singers because the most talented people from this country who want to break the music scene want to break America, not the Euro pop scene

Good point. As is going through qualifying stages. But surely we have good up and coming artists who struggle to get a break, and would do Eurovision? Artists with charisma. Maybe more fringe artists? There are plenty of great artists and british acts who fall under the rada and are underplayed on the radio in amongst all the Beyonces and Ed Sheerans.

The problem is we are sore losers!

We expect to win because we are GREAT Britain. We have a certain arrogance.

We are not owed anything. We think we are.

The scoring system means unless you are constantly in the top ten, your score might not reasonably reflect the merit of the song. A 14th best song can easily end up 25th. There isn't much room for marmite songs. It has to be a song that has universal or wide appeal.

Plus we are culturally more different than the rest of Europe. Thats neither a good nor bad thing. It is what it is, sometimes an asset sometimes a curse.

We tend to see Eurovision as a bit of a joke. We have a certain snobbery where we only like the upbeat song (preferably so cheesy that its mature cheddar) everyone can sing along with or the quirky song. We don't ever see it particularly seriously. You limit yourself if you take that route as its incredibly hard to do well, without being totally naff. We keep ending up naff.

In the last two decades the more mature grown up and at times moody songs have done well. This is perhaps easier to do. And ironically its what our professional artists do very well. Its just not we see as 'eurovisiony'. So it doesn't get put forward to the UK to vote for and even if it did we wouldn't choose it.

And we've made some truly dreadful decisions too. Engelbert Humperdink? What in Gods name were we thinking? Who watches Eurovision and votes? Should we have won with that pile of shite? Did we deserve anything more than last?

Honestly I think our expectations do not match reality. A lot of that is to do with the two world wars, one world cup mentality mixed with ideas of self importance born of Empire. Where else have we seen that?

Marina and the Diamonds would be an epic choice for Eurovision.

Yes 80s we used to be good once when we had catchy tunes. I still remember Bucks Fizz and making your mind up. The lyrics were catchy. It has to be catchy or strike at the feelings. It can even be a bit marmite. Some people hate the Israel winner, but its memorable and what a song can't be is vanilla, which is what we keep doing. every. single. year. And we don't learn then grumble about not winning.

I agree Red would the offer be taken though?

Some good points!
Marina and the diamonds would be great. My dream entry would be clean bandit.

Marina AND Clean Bandit?!

Omg yass as my dd says

Clean Bandit is a brilliant idea!!

Speaking as an Irish Eurovision fan -

I think it speaks volumes that the selection committee turned down the Austrian song.

What the UK needs is an open selection process where artists, songwriters, production all enter a competition the way some other countries do.

This isn't foolproof (see Ireland for a few years). But it's better than leaving the fate of the UK entry in the hands of a group that clearly doesn't know its ass from its elbow.

Ireland, Sweden and the UK have internationally recognised music scenes. There are regional music scenes within Europe too where Ireland, Sweden and the UK don't translate too well. Well maybe Sweden does. (Note - I am not talking political voting blocs here, but musical taste regions and places where certain types of music go down well.) Ireland has been successful at Eurovision and has also managed to break into the US.

It's not a question of putting up a catchy number. I don't think there is a reliable formula. I think what is missing from the UK entries is authenticity. What the UK presents year after year is a bland, beige song on a generic, beige subject clearly put together by a committee. I realise teams of people work on all the other songs, but this is not as obvious when you hear those other songs as it is with the UK. Other countries manage to make a string of cliches into something with a chance to win (see Cyprus this year). There is a little weird pride in the UK in sending something that 'means well' but is rather amateurish to Eurovision.

Marina and Clean Bandit is an excellent idea

Agree completely mathanxiety. I find it depressing that we blamed our own flawed system and process on Europe...

...oh wait thats just being British isn't it.

My lovely horse?

@NotMyFirstRodeo why have I never heard that?!

For many years we had A Song For Europe where the public voted for a song to represent us. The public are just as if not more unreliable in their ability to choose a good song than “experts”.

Olivia Newton John was apparently cross that she was forced to bang out a cheesy up-tempo number, “Long Live Love” rather than a ballad. I think after Eurovision she ran off in disgust to the US... and then got a part in a moderately successful film .

@troodiedoo I don't know why. I don't think it was promoted much and I don't think it charted. They collaborated and played it at Coachella three(?) years ago and it was finally released last year.
I got the impression Clean Bandit were not that happy with it, certainly it took two years of messing with it and it sounds the same to me

Give it a listen a few times then it will become an earworm. It's not my favourite Marina track but I do like it. It says something to me about my life .

stevenperkins.wordpress.com/2018/05/13/eurovision-2018-the-definitive-ish-ranking/
For those who like rankings, Steve's personal recap is up.

monkseal.wordpress.com/2018/05/13/a-quick-and-campy-eurovision-2018-ranking-post/
So is Monkseal's.

I have to stop stanning this couple but their twitter feeds bring me joy