The X Factor 8pm, ITV1.

[MusicToMyEars800]

Can't wait I've got as we all know it's unbearable without it
Look forward to seeing you all later

They are clearly boot camp fodder.

They're infectious? So are measles Simon, it doesn't mean you want them

I think ripped jeans are this year's pleather

Ooh hello! Or bonjour, even

If he's shit, then being a full time musician is a mistake.

Ooh la la!

Bit behind but I lost a £300 pair of sunglasses on that water ride a couple of years ago and got absolutely drenched

I hope he is good, Oh he already did The Voice France

He's already done the Voice France?

I find that the best way to avoid ripped jeans is by not wearing jeans.

I hope he's good

Raah particularly since electricians are a lot more useful than bad singers.

TheWashing exactly. Very shortsighted of him. .

I like him, he's got a distinct voice.

His singing makes me think he might be a bit constipated.

I do like him! (Not at all biased by his nice arms, no, not me)

does he have his own pleather waistcoat?

He's shit. But I'd like to be the one to console him if he doesn't go through

He loses any trace of French accent when he sings.

I'm not really into this but he is good.

Wonder how he got on at Le Gob?

I have a cupboard full of movicol, if he needs some.

He's older than 29, but ooh la la indeed!

France, Nicole. He told you where he came from.

I just said that too Raah

Crisp Le gob
Raahh Movicol Brings back bad memories of after I gave birth.

I like his shoulders. His gf must be getting twitchy...