19 kids and counting / safety

[MommyTVFan]

Hi
Followed Sue and Noel Radford and family on our tv programmes & see they have a new show on tomorrow (29/12/16).

Something I don't get is child safety in this and other larger families.

I mean I had 3 under 7 and I watch 2.5y old all the time, even when he is in older siblings room as there's bunk beds etc and even dressing up clothes can be dangerous

I know the Radford's have super high bunk beds and they always have around 4 kids under 6y I wonder how they supervise them? Or do you think kids like these and in other larger families are in hospital much more often ?

I don't think having to help look after younger siblings or have chores is necessarily a bad thing to be honest

Neither do I.

Really until age 13 , that's really unusual. I listen to my dc read school books individually with my dc mon, wed and fri for approx twenty minutes.
Obviously they get read to daily and will choose to read to me at other times.
The dc age five and over love reading. My teenagers would not have appreciated reading to age 13.

I'd say companies send them so many things in return for advertising. I remember I was pregnant with my son when sue was pregnant with one of her toddler girls and I used to look at her Facebook page. She used to always post about and promote the private scan clinic she attended, she had new baby items all the time, photography sessions, etc. Channel 4 obviously paid for the trip to Australia.

I guess we are all guilty of encouraging it by watching the show, clicking on their website, even posting on a discussion board about them.

Yes Eagle 7 and 19 dc is very different. I was pointing out the Radfords won't need to listen to all 19 kids read.

Of course kids should help out.

However it can become a problem. There was one episode of the duggar show where the little one went over to her sister and wouldn't go near her mother as she was so used to that girl being the caregiver amd the mum was not who they turned to for help or comfort.

How can kids do their homework if they are having to bath their siblings fir instance.

If the days tasks cannot be performed and all kids fed dressed and bathed and put to bed etc without the kids "helping out" then it's not helping out imo. It's parenting.

Sorry Eagle missed the safety issue. Yes very different however I did have five under the age of four to supervise at one point. My youngest are still only 1,2,2,4,5.

I agree, Giles, I think the older kids are parenting the younger ones. She had only just given birth to baby number 19, when they were talking about baby 20 and more! They are both extremely selfish baby addicts who have not given much thought of the impact of them having multiple children have on their present kids. It does seem that they are addicted to the whole pregnancy and giving birth thing, once the baby grows into a toddler, they are craving the next fix.

One of the older girls went away to uni, but came back, I wonder why?

I'm number 7 of 10. I looked after my 3 younger siblings. It was a bad thing, I had virtually no childhood

Mine are all close in age too - DS1 is 3.2 and DTs are 20 months. It's a full time job keeping them safe and there are only 3 of them!

andnowitsseven, sorry if it came across like I was picking you out, I wasn't - just saying that there's such an amount of children that it's hard for any of us to imagine what daily life there must be like.

Was that because you had to help out nelly or was that because you could see your parents struggling and the guilt of not helping meant that although you weren't asked meant you weren't able to enjoy playing or whatever?

Neither is good obviously. It's so selfish to pop out kids and expect someone else to pick up the slack. Cos I'd assume that eveb of it wasn't expected that you help there would be no enjoyment watching things fall apart either

Haven't watched this show yet but just wanted to place mark. I don't find Noel creepy as such, but it is obvious that he is very damaged as a result of his upbringing and the fact that he got Sue pregnant at 13 when he was 18 is very off.

I think they're both a product of their childhoods but instead of getting the help they need they now find themselves where they are today. It's very sad.

I've just had a thought...

I'd say it's highly likely that one of the teens will or has already googled the show, and this thread or similar will appear. Not nice reading for them, but that's a risk Sue and Noel took when they agreed to do tv shows and other media.

Giles my next sibling is 2 years younger than me. My earliest memories are that it was my job to dress her, make sure that she didn't eat anything she shouldn't, keep her safe.

I was 9 when the youngest was born, my mother spent a year in hospital immediately from his birth. I had full care from dropping him at the child minder collecting him etc

It's not fair for parents to CHOOSE to have children & expect siblings to look after them. The parents have had their childhood. Why can't the parents let their own children have the same?

I often got things wrong looking after my siblings because I was you know a child!!

I get on really well with my younger siblings though & we're v close.

I am child free by choice though for obvious reasons!!!

I think kids should pitch in, but not feel fully responsible. Chloe left uni to be nearer her family in case something happened and she was needed. I think for me that goes above and beyond pitching in.

Does anyone know if there were further under-16 pregnancies, or was age 13 a 'one off'?

Bloody hell nelly :(

So selfish.

Kids should pitch in but they're not the parents. If the other kids have an active parent type role maybe their parents should have asked them about how they felt having more and more siblings. I don't imagine they get much of a childhood. They don't seem to go out and they're always filmed at home until this last series. I know a lady who has 8 children in a very small terrace house and aside from the space for them all I couldn't understand how she could give individual attention to them all. Surely you have children as you like being with them and want to spend time growing and developing them. I can't understand the Radfords really though is obviously each to their own but school must be a break for some of the kids.

She was 17 and married when no2 came along according to their website Happy.

Of course the kids know that some people have a bad opinion of them. Sue was aware of the last thread that was on here as one of the fans sent her a message. She referred to those with negative opinions as "keyboard warriors". They have made the choice to put themselves out there (programmes, tv adverts, Take a Break, newspapers etc) so that is something they have chosen for their children.

I am not against big families, I have a larger than average one myself, but I feel sorry for the children and feel that they should call it a day (regarding media appearances). They seem to be living in their own little bubble and insist that "the kids love having loads of brothers and sisters" even though they all say differently! They are always adamant that the older children don't help out much either.

Agree Msqueen. There is a world of difference between kids helping with daily chores (a good thing) and being expected to take responsibility for younger siblings. The older kids didn't choose to have loads of babies and toddlers to look after- the parents did. It was clear that the older kids are expected to referee fighting, change nappies, feed the younger kids... these aren't things older siblings should feel obliged to do.

And what came across more than anything was the lack of time spent just talking, playing... as msqueen says, surely the only good reason for having a baby is to want to bring another person into your family, to nurture and enjoy each phase of their life. Not to pass them around like a doll and parade them in a brand new pram and then lose interest in favour of the next baby.

I wondered what the parents would feel watching the programme and hearing the older kids speak honestly about not liking being in such a big family. After this latest episode, I suspect Noel will just believe they're wrong (he came across as very blinkered and fixed in his views) while sue will probably focus more on the next laundry load or what style pram she'll get next. She seemed very limited and naive in her understanding of what they've created.

I do think they are delusional that the kids want more babies

Whilst they get excited when a new baby is brought home, they all say, "I don't want another baby in the house"

It's telling that they all saying they don't want big families when they are older

'I guess we are all guilty of encouraging it by watching the show, clicking on their website, even posting on a discussion board about them.'

Which is why I don't. See nothing laudable about sprogging off so many times. Not to mention an 18-year-old getting a 13-year-old pregnant.

They don't earn money from this discussion board.

Noel seemed annoyed that they said they didn't want big families, saying "well if you don't want to give us 500 grandchildren so be it"

I know that Noel can be quite aggressive with online negative comments, but Sue gets really worked up and angry and doesn't seem to be able to get why people may not be able to see all of "the joy, love and happiness" in their family. Fans then start getting really irate too, saying that they are only jealous, or else it is none of their business If you have a look at the comments on their page there are people who seem to be infatuated with them.

I feel am mega cringing for the kids having to listen to all that sex talk, how much noise Sue makes etc. No teen should have to hear that, let alone watch it on national tv.