Chimpmeister and Spenny remain single but hook up with anyone who is remotely interested in Biscuits.
Jess gives up on the idea of mating with Chimpo after a disastrous hook up in an alley off the King's Road where the Old Bill spent half an hour separating them. Not penis captivus. Oh no. His fringe stuck fast to her eyebrows like uber hairy Velcro.
JP quickly gets bored off Olz really quickly and spends the rest of the season trying to convert Biscuits who is getting feckall action due to chimp and chump
Binky rushed to hospital to remove her extensions due to an unfortunate episode involving a turnstile whilst slumming it on the Tube.
Rosie in the next bed in said hospital. After widening her eyes just that one time too many, her eyebrows have shot round to the back of her neck and can't be coaxed back. Due to said the seismic shift of the follicular variety, her hairline is halfway down her back and she now has the hairiest arse in Chelsea. Her bikini waxer has consulted her union rep and her solicitor about the trauma she endured.
TT is admitted briefly to the same hospital for a suspected std. She is discharged fairly swiftly. Having been completely off her tits, she applied her dark purple lipstick to the wrong set of lips.
Petitfonz becomes an overnight millionaire. Having fashioned leather penis socks (costing £3k each) to cover purple stained penises...
Stiff get pecked to death by the owl after someone looking suspiciously like Stewie Griffin broke into the owl company and had a word...
As Watto dithers between grieving and celebrating, Stewie kidnaps James and locks him in a cellar with 20 My Little Ponies.
Posho and the crone outbitch themselves, get sent to Coventry (literally) and drink themselves silly in Wetherspoons. The Sun headline said it all.