X FACTOR - It's BIG BAND week! And we've got Mickey Bubbles..sort of...

[Raahh]

Just look at this song list

Andrea Faustini
Summertime (by Ella Fitzgerald)

Lauren Platt
Smile (by Nat King Cole)

Only The Young
I Wanna Be Like You (From The Jungle Book)

Stereo Kicks
Still TBC!

Ben Haenow
Cry Me A River (by Michael Buble)

Fleur East
Bang Bang (byJessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj)

Jay James
Empire State of Mind/New York New York medley (by Alicia Keys/Frank Sinatra)

Stevi Ritchie
Mambo Number 5/ She Bangs medley (by Lou Bega/Ricky Martin)

I'm sure an orchestra might be involved somewhere, but most of this list is frankly rubbish. Twice.
Someone got 'Bang' and 'Band' mixed up.
The best one there is 'TBC'

They are all going to be drowned out by the brass section, aren't they?

See you later.

Bring nibbles.

The Marilyn Monroe lookalike would have been right at home this week.

Chezza Fezza Vezza come as a loo roll cover?

Cheryl's dress had so much potential until she ran into a giant bird.

And what the fuck is that face that Mel pulls?

Mel nearly tripped then . Aain.

Why are they not dressed for BBW?

This is pants.

Looking at my stepdad, I already knew my mother and I do nit share the same taste in men. Clunt though. Bleurgh.

LINES OPEN
LINES OPEN EVERYONE! QUICK!

Evening all.

Well this looks like utter shite doesn't it

Have you disowned her yet, Calamity?

I've got my fake Baileys and an assortment of chocolate to get me through tonight. My diet has gone out of the window.

I do not like Mel's dress.

C'mon Pugs.

They should have named this week "Big ad-break week (just like any other week, really)".

Thank god Pugsy is first.

The lines may be open, but I can't imagine why anyone would want to vote.
Opening the lines before anyone sings makes a mockery of it being about the performances.

Mel B is pretty sure she's seen those shiny brass instrument things before. In a catalogue or summat
Can't figure out what on earth they're for, mind you.

No-one can understand Chezza, Pugs. Even Chezza.

What's with all the afternoon teas?!

I need to go on the afternoon tea bus.

I just RL ROFFLED at Pugsy doing Her Maj

Harrod's toilets??

afternoon tea on a bus!! I want it

When it comes to the plop-factor, we need all the help we need and such a thing as a diet does not exist.

I love Harrods's toilets too.

Aww, he's all suited up.

Go Pugsy!!

I regularly consider disowning my mother. My stepdad actually looks like a cross between George Robertson and Gordon brown, but with less charisma.

Every year. Every year someone does this, and The First Time Ever. And a couple of others. Has Mingehead done an MJ and bought up the rights to the American songbook?