Our Girl and Captain James Discussion Thread Vol IV

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Feel free to join in as we discuss all things Our Girl related

Honorary Members:
Ben Aldridge
Tony Grounds

ILove - Sending big Hugs over to you x

Hi there. I think he's brilliantly written actually, the banter he has with the platoon showing his sense of humour, the authority, the care of his troops, the counselling, the recognition of a job well done. His ability to be both one of the lads when its needed and a leader at other times. He is completely at ease with himself as an army officer, confident, driven, good at what he does - all that is massively attractive.

Then throw in good looks, the ruggedness of the uniform, the bravery of someone in the armed forces, facial expressions which look as though the passion / desire is just below the surface waiting to be unleashed but then the hint of a romantic / softer side where he'd see a partner as an equal, give them the space to grow / support them in their ambitions....

What was the question again, I seem to have lost my train of thought

Massive hugs Ilove

First of all, best wishes to iloveblue.
Cry a river...build a bridge...get over it.
I know it's over simplifying, but there's a seed of truth...uh?

Then my thoughts on today's topic. For me it's a bit of looks (gosh, the man brings me back to 15yrs ago when DH was same proportions, very similar looks, same energy levels!!)
Then...it's not really the being authoritative. For me the trick is the was the character is depicted: he changes and learns and discovers new aspects of himself, of the army, of life. He starts listening to Molly, after that disaster of a beginning! Most love stories, at least the ones dearest to my naïf and romantic heart, are the ones that describe the Discovery...that previous phase when you bump into someone and suddenly the pieces fit. You feel like in a miracle, and it may be ups and downs but the ups open your eyes to a brand new world.
By definition, the Discovery then can only morph into a "growing together" which is possibly less exciting...but not less worthy.
(As my dad wisely said: getting married is the easy bit! Staying married is a different kettle of fish!)
(Isn't he grand? So cynical! He may have said that on my wedding day :-))
The next phase, once you have kids, is a kind of discovery again, but your energies are more absorbed into the little people and their own miracles and its magnificent but it puts yourself a bit on the background....and the couple even further back. It takes some serious effort to regain a balance.
The older I get, the more I am also absorbed and devote energies in getting people underneath me (at work) to grow, and as a consequence I feel a bit more "spent" on the home front. The little time I have, I selfishly devote it to things that make me feel better (on the assumption that if I am better the chances of having an hysterical mum destroying your childhood decrease. Not sure I succeed, there ;-)

I know I am very late but I couldn't get the "whatta man" video to work on my mobile and this is the first time I've logged on with the computer.

I have a very big smile on my face - the video is fab!

Ilovelblue ((((hugs))))) So sorry to hear that you've been having a tough time of it recently :( Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Go and wow them; you will be brilliant! :)

I initially found the restaurant scene awkward but it's grown on me quite a bit now. I actually think it's quite clever - I mean, it's a first date, between two people who have known each other solely in a totally different environment. It's the first time they're equals, not officer and private. It's bringing them together in a world she is totally unfamiliar with. Plus they've both been desperate to lure each other to bed. of course it's meant to be awkward, ha!

Mandy, I like your extemporising

Soooo, to conclude it: I like the message of the show, in principle, that you can still discover new potentials no matter where you're coming from, what your luggage is. As long as you put some bloody effort in it, and a good dose of good humour....

Iloveblue thinking of you.

Insightful and mad in equal measures! - I really like you lot! This whole experience of the programme and web stuff has has a profound effect on me.

This may have already been discussed on an earlier thread, but I've been thinking about the parallels between Shazza and Molly. Shazza comes into Belinda's life and encourages her to take a leap to improve her prospects, despite the opposition and disapproval she (Shazza) faces from Molly's family. She thinks differently and has an alternative lifestyle to that of the Dawes family (making her own soup, living in a camper van etc). The same could be said about Molly and the changes she brings about for Bashira. Molly strongly feels that Bashira doesn't have to follow the path that has been set out by her culture, and Bashira's family are hugely angered by this interference, especially from someone who is not from their background and who leads a different way of life. Ultimately though, both Belinda and Bashira's lives transform for the better as a result of Shazza's and Molly's respective involvement.

cherin well said. Familiarity can breed distance; it's the growing and changing together, remembering and regularly rediscovering what bonds you as a couple, that keeps the marriage alive. I know what you mean about feeling spent; I used to regularly feel like I had no energy, headspace land patience left for the kids, let alone DH. Have recently adjusted work hours and feel a lot better for it; the balance is definitely improved.

Good luck iloveblue will be thinking of you

Yes, I'm still surprised at the effect the programme has had on me. I've always enjoyed a bit of Sunday night drama but can honestly say I dont think one has ever made me sit up and take a good look at myself, my life and made me feel that a few changes are needed.

It's funny because apart from giving me a kick to do something about DH and I(small steps, but next week we're having a day out shopping with lunch - if you knew my husband, you would understand this is a real commitment from him!)', it's also made me look at other relationships too, notably my best friend (who's answer to my opening my heart to how I was feeling was to tell me to just get out there, have an affair and get it out of my system). I'm still a bit shocked by this "advice", not especially helpful.

I feel like some of my colleagues look at me a bit differently too. I was told today that a few of the youngsters were surprised at my "sense of fun" (what they actually probably meant was "for an old bird"). This may be down to the motivational post it's I've been strategically placing..."I want you to be brilliant" etc.

Finally, I've certainly never been so open on any discussion threads, preferring to lurk in the background.

All in all, a good thing. Except maybe the soundtrack...as much as I love it, I have had to give it a miss on certain days as the songs are very thought provoking and make me a bit melancholy at times. Still beautiful songs, just need to save them up for when I'm feeling a little less vulnerable.

drbunsen I see the parallelism but there are a couple of points that make me think:
Shazza and Belinda are conscious of their actions, and take positive determination to "go try something"
Bashira is a child and unconscious of the effect her "friendship" will cause. She may confide in Molly, but I am pretty darn sure she never thought that she would lose her dad and be separated from her mum (who appears to be a fairly decent and caring person, in the only scene we see her)
Is short, I am not sure her change is necessarily for the best. Her dad may not have gone so bonkers, had he not been caught into the middle of Taliban vs Europe forces war. She is a passive player of the game.
(My father in law was in a similar situation as a child; long story but he essentially was in an orphanage from 9 to 16yrs old, victim of European history twist and turns. Let me tell you. He's got scars. Big ones!!)

(Again, TG writing is brilliant because he can represent all the nuances...he not just portraying the politically correct or idealistic version of the story...it puts the doubt into Molly's voice, and in the scene with only the boys going to school and CJ looking melancholic....at the end he HAS to give us a happy embrace with Bashira, that's the closure needed, at least on that front...for Smurf and mrs Smith there isn't...)

Yes, cherin, I agree that there are many shades of grey to this. However, Bashira certainly wasn't willingly passive to the demands of her culture (forced marriage, for example), even if she alone was helpless to change the situation. And Molly could never have foreseen the dramatic effects her kindness and concern was to have.

Regarding the effect this programme has had on us I would say it should be seen as a really positive thing. The fact that we are feeling things in a way we haven't for years is good as it shows we are still able to have feelings like that, our passion hasn't died, we're just bogged down with life. And the things people have wanted to change, be it losing weight/getting fit, work and jobs or relationship stuff, that's all good too. And we have this thread which we would never have had, through which I feel I've made like minded (albeit virtual) friends with whom to share all this with. And on a more light hearted note I am really enjoying my CJ/ Our Girl obsession and will continue to do so without reservation for as long as it lasts! I listen to the soundtrack a lot and agree it can be a quite melancholy at times, but now we have the whatta man video to cheer us up when we're feeling a bit down so that makes up for it I think!
And best wishes Iloveblue

Stressybird - I think changes in you often bring out new facets of those with whom you interact, maybe because the changed you also has a tendency to perceive things in a different light. That said, it's surprising that people you've known for a long time still have the capacity to throw you entirely. Lots of re- evaluation all round.

I'm still loving the soundtrack - I like me a spot of melancholy! Somehow it's better when I'm feeling fragile. It fits.

Another change that I'm finding in this pre midlife crisis that I'm going through is a desire to make much more of life in general. I've started learning so many new things, and I've become bolder about voicing my opinions. Now working on the self-consciousness and the self-confidence.

(DH has just asked me suspiciously: "You writing a thesis or what?" )

Can I also add my best wishes for a speedy recovery and return ilove. Interesting post Drbunsen many aspects of change are examined, we seem to keep finding different nuances the more we look. Also strong crossover into our own lives. Good art should have a profound effect in the viewer. TG should be proud!

Loving this!
Shame SPO isn't around this evening, but I think there must be something about Tuesdays - wasn't this the day we posted the most, on your stats? Anyway, off to bed, all the best for tomorrow ilove.

Big hugs and got luck to you ilove CJ should be made available on prescription!

Love all the posts on re-evaluation of relationships and life in general and ditto them completely. You have all voiced my thoughts more eloquently than I could have. OG has definitely been a force for good (after an initial melancholy dip I admit).

good luck I meant ilove!

Night everyone! Happy CJ/Molly dreams!

Do love these shots... It's the uniform, the stance, the jaw....

Good Morning

Morning all, great chats last night, crashed out, but Stressybird I also want to add that I have had negative comments from two of my best RL friends. I was out with them a couple of weeks ago and after a few glasses of wine came clean about OG and our discussion of the program (and CJ!) and in particular the Carols. They seemed worried for me, and didn't want me going on my own meeting "strangers".
In the end I didn't tell them I had already agreed to meet NVM. We had such a fun time and a laugh, one of those days I will always remember. I now feel sad for them that I won't tell them what a great day I had.

BTW they also both watched OG just once!!!!

I love the arms folded one, it's those forearms again!!!!

Morning!

Best wishes Iloveblue.

I have been catching up on yesterday's posts with interest. What a pensive bunch you were last night! There were a lot of posts yesterday - a new spike in SPO's stats? No sign of this thread petering out at all!