X FACTOR! 13/9- Tonight we are in the ARENA!! (spoilers, and all that, just in case...)

[Raahh]

Sadly, it's not the type of ARENA with lions and men in skimpy loin cloths.

Instead, we have contestants we have already forgotten, singing again (probably with a loud backing track and auto tune).

The acts will be singing:-

BRADLEY DENHOLM
Let Me Entertain You- Robbie Williams

BABALOLA EHIDIAMEN
It Will Rain – Bruno Mars

JAMES GRAHAM
I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt/Adele

JALE ANTOR
Crazy Stupid Love – Cheryl ft. Tinie Tempah

THE COURTESANS
Delilah – Tom Jones

REBECCA JONES
Moon River – Andy Williams

CHARLIE BROWN
All I Do – Stevie Wonder

STEVIE TENNENT
Feeling Good – Michael Buble

PAUL AKISTER
Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye

LAUREN PLATT
How Will I know – Whitney Houston

INDIANA Ifill
I’m Going Down – Mary J Blige

LOU BOU
Pretty Hurts/Partition –Beyoncé

KIERON WINTER
Let her Go – Passenger

AMY CONNOLLEY
Greatest Love of All – Whitney Houston

We have Mickey Bubbles!

And some one daft enough to sing a Chezza song (which was bad enough to start with).

And not one but TWO Whitney songs!- We are being spoilt this week.

Bring and and and ear plugs.

DFS must pick the worst sofas in their warehouse for the tv ads. It must be a bet of the 'there's no way we'll find a sucker to buy this' type.

I can't remember any of these people!

Yes. Joy of necrophillia. Eurgh.

So choker tattoo necklaces and belly-out tops are back, hmm?
I rocked that in 1997. I think I can rock it again now.

Give up with the Wales chat love, this ain't The Voice.

Facially, she's like a little Natalie Cassidy

That young woman appears to have fallen out of 1993 and landed on the XFactor

She looks more convincingly like a grown up than I do. This is worrying as she's only 18 and I am old.

Moon river? Didn't Joan Lewis do this? Badly, iirc.

Cracking sadface when she sings.

What the actual?

Oh dear.

Hot: don't you know the 90s are in.

Eurgh. Eurgh. Eurgh. Warbly moon river. Yuck.

This is terrible.

I'd try to electrocute myself on the amp if someone told me I looked like Natalie Cassidy.

It's not applause worthy folk

Oh that was bad...

We've heard you, love.

Unfortunately.

SHE WANTS IT SO MUCH
so she must be good.

Oh don't cry and beg.

Oh come on love- DIGNITY!

And Louis- DIGNITAS.

I was at legoland in the summer. I saw lots of people who thought they were rocking the 90s belly top look. They were not.

Oh god she really does look like Sonia doesn't she.

How can the 90's be in?

I was in the 90's and they weren't in then.

I love her look of disbelief!

Mua Ha Ha!