Masterchef 3 ways... Sea bass, samphire, figs with a crumb.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

New thread.

Do people actually talk about 'elements' in real life (other than chemists)?

Ice cream scoop for me

Lindyhop Dollops. Pmsl

Oh jesus he is Halsall

Those people never eat apart from in trendy restaurants.
You can keep the waiter, I'll have the chef.

Least head chef is positive!! Giving constructive feedback

Crem it has just occurred to me that it is a touch sad that is the sort of secret I have nowadays. Perhaps I am over due a midlife crisis!

Yes, he's pretty chirpy. Marcus Wareing would have flayed Redface for those quenelles.

The waiter looks quite a lot like the crappily bearded contestant. Him of the burnt fish and squid.

At least it wasn't as frantic as last night, I would still be traumatised from that, are there no deserts

You said it john

Ohdear: I think this chef has managed to come across as a decent human being. Not least because he's aware that they're amateurs so they won't know what to do without teaching.

Intense? Who knew?

There's still Scary Marcus to come yet

Angies mascara must be tattooed on- no runs

We had starters rather than (poncy) desserts tonight.

Wonder what mascara Angela uses. Impressed it hasn't run!

Sophie: aibu for applying to be on materchef but I couldn't wear my pearls or my scarf! Who was being unreasonable, me or masterchef?

I want one of them to say "I fucking hated it and I'm going back to my day job"

Sophie just pulled this face

Sophie is quietly smug. DP and I don't like her.

Snap Crem!

Lol they looked like they were zombies walking away from that restaurant - completely traumatised

Greg's all layered up again

I think ping is still my overall winner