Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Telly addicts

Related: Film discussion forum.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

CBB night 3 and beyond....

987 replies

LovesBeingOnHoliday · 24/08/2013 22:12

And so it begins....

OP posts:
AnneEyhtMeyer · 27/08/2013 10:39

Lauren constantly talks about when she was a boy. I really don't understand all the angst.

For what it's worth I think the difference between Lauren and Nadia is that we all knew Lauren as a boy, whereas we only ever knew Nadia as a woman.

AnneEyhtMeyer · 27/08/2013 10:42

I think they should restrict the shopping like they used to, MrsJay. I used to love the arguments over fags and drink on the shopping list. Someone always wanted something like organic hand-reared unicorn milk costing half the budget too. I miss that.

mrsjay · 27/08/2013 10:42

well Lauren talks abput herself as a boy all the time I dont think you need to be offended on her behalf feeme I was talking about Lauren and nobody else trans gendered so I think if lauren talks about her past as a boy then we can too,

mrsjay · 27/08/2013 10:43

they used to do the budget shopping when it was on ch4 the celeb one it was fun when some nomark celeb couldn't get their unicorn milk Grin

Feenie · 27/08/2013 10:45

I would say to me that's different because she isn't using the his/him/his pronoun - and that's also her prerogative when talking about herself.

You may be right about that as the difference. I also think that people (not necessarily here) are more unkind because she isn't perceived as fitting in as well - she is more eccentric, and I think that makes people feel better about calling her odd, a freak, etc.

Feenie · 27/08/2013 10:47

I was talking about Lauren and nobody else trans gendered so I think if lauren talks about her past as a boy then we can too

I don't think you can necessarily make that assumption - again, that's her prerogative - and I think it's possible that you would offend other people in the transgender community.

Coconutty · 27/08/2013 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnneEyhtMeyer · 27/08/2013 10:50

I haven't seen people be unkind (I may have missed it as was away at the weekend but am catching up on the ones I missed) but I have seen people worry about a deeply unstable person being in the house.

I felt the same way about Vanessa Feltz and the "Who is she" girl with the eating disorder whose name escapes me at the minute. I think quite a few of the current crop should not be in there and wouldn't have been if proper psych tests had been carried out.

The BB house is no place for someone who isn't emotionally stable. It is unfair to allow them to put themselves in that position.

AnneEyhtMeyer · 27/08/2013 10:53

I don't understand how you can offend a trans-gendered person by talking about the fact that they used to be a boy when they talk about being a boy all the time themselves.

Are you expecting people to pretend they haven't heard her? Pretend they don't remember her on Wogan? What exactly are you hoping for? I'm genuinely interested to hear.

mrsjay · 27/08/2013 10:55

if I offended you feenie then i apologise wasn't intentional still think I didnt type anything wrong though, and i dont think a thread about a rubbish telly programme is a place to go into the ins and outs of transgender, I don't think i was nasty about lauren just stating a fact,

mrsjay · 27/08/2013 10:56

Nicky graham anne

Fairenuff · 27/08/2013 11:00

Lauren getting the hairbrush stuck in Danielle's hair, farting in the garden and getting her earring caught on the cushion.

And she doesn't even react, just looks slightly confused. So funny.

Feenie · 27/08/2013 11:02

I am hoping for MN to remain a place where we do not show disrespect to anyone, transgendered or otherwise. I am hoping for a little understanding as to why using he/she inappropriately might not be the correct way to refer to a transgender person, and may indeed be hurtful.

It must be extremely difficult for Lauren to manage since, as you say, we all remember her on Wogan all those years ago (see what I did there?) But it's still possible to use the correct pronoun and terminology.

Lauren talks about her childhood freely, and is a fantastic spokesperson for transgender people. And if she wants to talk about her past, that's fine - lots of transgender people do, and it would be difficult for her to avoid it. But in referring to her, historically or otherwise, it's correct to say she, her, etc.

When she talks about her past, she isn't inviting people to use an incorrect pronoun - she would still say 'me' or 'I'. It doesn't give anyone carte blanche to refer to her as the wrong gender, whether historical or otherwise.

mrsjay · 27/08/2013 11:05

well I find mn quite a tolerant place to be there is understanding and empthay all over this site and most people do not intentionally set out to hurt people however we are all human and our perception of things is different and we sometimes use in your view the wrong phrases or words we can't al be offended all the time about something

Feenie · 27/08/2013 11:07

i dont think a thread about a rubbish telly programme is a place to go into the ins and outs of transgender, I don't think i was nasty about lauren just stating a fact

I think it's the perfect opportunity to talk about it - we have a transgender person in the public eye, it's the ideal time to talk about the prejudice and intolerance that many transgender people feel. Do you know how high the suicide rate is in the transgender community? If Lauren appearing on national television raises awareness, that can only be a good thing.

I don't think you were nasty either - but in stating that fact, you could be hurtful towards someone. I have stated many times that I can see it was obviously unintentional.

Again - just because someone talks freely about their past, it doesn't mean everyone suddenly has carte blanche to mix up their pronouns without causing offence.

Feenie · 27/08/2013 11:09

well I find mn quite a tolerant place to be there is understanding and empthay all over this site and most people do not intentionally set out to hurt people

Me too - and most posters are accepting when it is pointed out that something they said could be offensive. It's a pretty obvious one when you think about it - the struggle to arrive at a chosen gender is a long one, and referring to someone as the correct gender is an easy thing to do. It doesn't hurt you.

mrsjay · 27/08/2013 11:09

feenie i do think you are going to run with this and keep picking away I am not not going to talk about it Big brother is entertainment that is why we are on this thread feel free to start a thread about trasngender and have a serious discussion on there about it, I am not going to respond to you anymore about this, not because i have anything to hide but I just want to chat waffle about celebs on telly ,

Sparklysilversequins · 27/08/2013 11:11

Can you imagine if Danielle had had to cut her fringe off? ShockGrin

It was looking that way for a few minutes there wasn't it? I bet Danielle will nominate her just for that!

Feenie · 27/08/2013 11:13

Even waffle can potentially be hurtful though, whether intentional or otherwise.

Feenie · 27/08/2013 11:18

I felt the same way about Vanessa Feltz and the "Who is she" girl with the eating disorder whose name escapes me at the minute. I think quite a few of the current crop should not be in there and wouldn't have been if proper psych tests had been carried out.

The BB house is no place for someone who isn't emotionally stable. It is unfair to allow them to put themselves in that position.

I couldn't agree more, AnneEyhtMeyer - some of the contestants clearly shouldn't be there. Channel 5 have a lot to answer for. I really hope they all come out of it okay - I suspect though that this could do a fair amount to damage. Sad

Feenie · 27/08/2013 11:18

of

SirRaymondClench · 27/08/2013 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Sparklysilversequins · 27/08/2013 11:30

Like.

Feenie · 27/08/2013 11:38

I'm not transgender, no.

I don't like that transgender people are seen as one of the last prejudices that it's okay to participate in.

I'm disappointed in the reactions to my point from some MNers. I've made two points - one, that there was unkindness on a thread about Lauren which was unnecessary. I gave specific examples. The back lash I got for suggesting that was unbelievable. Two - that it isn't the correct etiquette to refer to a transgender person historically using the incorrect pronoun. I explained why the reasons why this could be offensive. Again, the disbelief and reactions to this are very strange, coming from MN. Perhaps it is just the CBB posters?

The information for this comes from a policy my LEA put into place when we first had transgender children in our authority, to protect them from bullying. But it's quite standard in all material relating to transgender etiquette - and perfectly understandable, actually, when the reasons are explained.

MN is a self-monitoring site - members are encouraged to challenge politely anything they think isn't right, or can report them to MNHQ.

Feenie · 27/08/2013 11:41

All you seem to do is correct people and pick at people

I suggest you adjust your search terms in the search facility perhaps? I help a lot of people on Primary Education. I also enjoy chatting about CBB - but am not afraid of challenging posts which I find to be beyond the pale, such as your SA one, which was absolutely vile, SirRaymond, or which could be hurtful.