X Factor - Number Ones Week!

[SuePurblybilt]

Spraggers 'not well enough to continue'
Dullisa 'gutted'
Rylan 'also gutted'

Me? Delighted actually, since you ask.

Will they do the right thing and bring back Jade? Or the Hot Older Boyband?

Why does Shitslinger insist on delivering the most mundane of remarks with the air of someone quoting Proust in Latin? It's incredibly irritating

'stiff'and 'hard'

Shitty is obsessed

What DOES he look like!

Essex the Hollywood of England

Is that Amy as in Carby Claire's Amy?

Yy Sue.

Yes Sue,

Eurgh.

I pride myself in never having watched Towie, and being pissed off that their ilk keep infiltrating programmes I like

Good Lord. These people will do anything to get on the tellybox.

Why does Rylan have a chest like a stamped-on Ken doll?

X Factor/Towie mash up!

DS1 is very, very intelligent, but loves TOWIE! I think because they are so different to him!

Elton John and George Michael's lovechild?!

Gotta be a mash-up....

I think I love rylan, I know I need help

Interesting that the Essex Brow is about a millimetre thinner than a Scouse Brow. These anthropological differences could be important one day.

EVENING

Already on my second glass of wine or third

Mashup hell for Ryland there.

I'm intelligent, I like TOWIE [shrug]

This is bad

This is bad!

He's not so bad though.
Why didn't he just sing ONE song?

This is beyond embarrassing.

Why has he got Ken Dodd's tickling stick on his shoulders?

Nanfucker out please.
Oh fuck, here's Rylan with a chicken on his shoulders.

This is reminding me that I need to do some dusting. Why would that be?

I think I love Rylan too. You've got to love a man who'll wear a red suit with ruffles.

I think he should do this year's Eurovision.