Protecting our children - is there a thread for this week yet?

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

Just wondering

Ugh shitty bath

utterly depressing shipped off to granny

So do we think this programme has shown social work in a good light? I do.

She got any heating in that flat?
She wears her coat all the time.

bringmesunshine - a baby with a good strong secure attatchemnt to its parents will be like your ds2 - it's just an extreme apathy to strangers thats being questionned here

im feeling harsh at the moment but do people really believe SOME of the parents in this series saying that their giving up the child for adoption for the childs benefit

rubbish,i believe that they cant be arsed and are so selfish they dont want the commitment or bother of bringing a child up,and dont want the responsibilities.

sorry bit ranty

No Nailak there will be a residence order and contact arrangements. I have worked with a coupld of girls whose mums have care of their babies, they have 4 x yearly contact like they would if they were adopted/long term care. It sounds harsh and a bit cruel but the kids have to attach to their GM as if she was mum. Having another mum popping in whenever she likes will fuck that up.

I feel so sorry got the grandmother picking up the pieces, what happens when she has another baby, and another etc etc? She can't just pass her babies over to the GM! This wasn't admirable, it was selfish, and the only good thong was that baby gets to grow up with her sister.

It shows how depressing/emotional it can be and the difficult decisions. It's not showing that the SW can have 30 of these. That doesn't even allow time to visit all every week , never mind the intense work needed with each family

I think it will suit the mother really

She will have contact with her baby still
She
Won't have to change her ways really as she isn't main carer.

I sort of view it as a cop out in a way

bringme but would your happy camper be happy if you just got up and left her with a stranger? Didnt come back for weeks and whilst you were leaving her screamed your head off?

Or do you think she would be distressed.

That is the difference between a happy, secure baby who is friendly with strangers and a child with attachment problems.

am i wrong in thinking 'cake and eat it'

Contact shouldn't be a reward to mum

My DS is happy with any stranger - he's a real charmer and attention seeker. I worried about it at one point in terms of attachment, but the signs are much more than just being fine with strangers. If you google attachment disorders you'll see many symptoms. Lack of eye contact, behavioural problems, problems learning etc....

Think it's hugely opened my eyes to the work of social workers. Couldnt do the job and huge respect to those who can.

So what is the criteria for once a week?

I think on the whole the social workers have come across well. It certainly shows how it's not at all clear cut and the decisions they make have such consequences.

weekly contact is a bad idea. I wonder if they think GM won't maintain less contact than that and they are giving in for convenience.

I would love to do it but I think I'm too Judgy mean and impatient

[honest]

My DS's birth mum doesnt have any contact.
It was going to be informal and frequent but she didnt bother turning up.

This one is giving herself a way out of any responsibilty isnt she? She is saying 'if I cant see her all the time there is no point in me seeing her at all'

I suspect her own mother is reluctant to have her in and out of her life all the time.

I had always been amazed by my cousin and her husband but now it has grown SO much. She is a nurse working with drug addiction and he is a social worker.
and the sanest loveliest people.

The SW is fab.

Been watching it on Sky+, so a bit behind.

Such depressing watching. I find the pattern of women-with-terrible-problems hooking up with men-with-even-worse- problems so bloody depressing

I work in youth offending, so a different end of things and no work with babies or young children (which I don't think I'd have the strength for), but I come across this pattern all the time with parents of the young people I work with - mothers with substance misuse and.or mental health problems who are unable to emotionally extricate themselves from men with even worse problems.

I take my hat off to these SWs. I wouldn't have the patience or the stomach for it.