sorry the kid william on child of our time

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I would be pretty narked if one of my siblings agreed to be on a prog like this, and then had a moan about our relationship as children.

My fundamental feeling whenever I watch such a prog is to think "Why on earth does anyone agree to such a thing?"

I thought the two 'friends' brothers were gorgeous too. But nothing like my two, who are quite physical sometimes, and do fight

cod collecting William from school

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A psychologist friend of mine is deeply unimpressed wwith the programme as she feels that some of the stuff the parents are disclosing.. ie not bonding with child etc is in the public domain and is going to be watched by the child in question and their school friends etc
She feels that the kids are being exploited.

anyway why were the yorkshire family moving again.. they only moved into that hous ein last year's programme?

I KNOW for a fact that one of the mums off the programme comes on here ! Not saying which though - but just be careful !

I thought a mumsnetter was friends with Catherine and Graham - they of the nice boys. And that maybe they regretted doing the programme?
I thought they were lovely - and the Scottish twins were gorgeous too.

Also, I think William's dad completely favourtised William because he looked like him whilst Charles looked so much like his mother.
I can't believe the lack of discipline in that house.

I like watching this programme,but I do wonder if it's a little like being on BB. You are evicted and realise how BB just cut out the juicy bits and can make you come across how they like.

I think it's difficult to create a true picture of children. My children are so different in different situations. If you wanted to follow them around with a camera crew for a few days, you would be able to choose footage of them being shy, arguing, being really lovely and well-behaved, spoilt little brats etc. I am sure you could get footage of my DD running in the playground interacting really well with the other children as well as arguing and telling she doesn't want them as friends.

There's a couple of the parents I would have sent straight to boarding in India though.

I was stunned by Het's parents. "We can't be arsed to do any positive parenting and we're having a new and better one, so we'll pack her off to India so someone else can bring her up, and then we'll be surprised when she grows up feeling we didn't want her any more because her brother was on the way."

Eh?

I thought those two brothers were lovely. And it was a very hopeful message as well - they weren't lovely because their Dad had had that lovely relationship with his brother and was repeating it automatically, they were lovely because he hadn't had such a relationship with his brother and was consciously determined to make it happen for his sons and succeeding. In the face of the fatalistic messages we sometimes get about childhood patterns repeating themselves, I found this really cheering.

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William's mother speaks of her family as if she is a bystander with no influence. Also felt she was really off with her sister. She comes across as a very angry woman IMO.

robinpud, I thought that about the house too, they moved in the last set of programmes too!

Perhaps it was to get nearer the twins' new school? I assume it was a prep one rather than the original pre-prep one. Maybe that one doesn't take girls long term and they wanted them to be educated together. Looks like it could be a very positive move for Charles although presumably William will follow eventually. Agree their mother came across as very detached and powerless to change the situation.

The twins are at CAteral Hall part og Giggleswick school in Settle
My dp went there and spotted the uniform straight away, I think the twins and Williams Dad went there
Yes thought he was rotten and to let him beat up Charles like that

I feel a bit uncomfortable about all the comments about Het's family wanting to pack her off because child 2 was a boy. Isn't it almost bordering on rascism to automatically think they prefer son's & can't be arsed with daughter. Would people think that if i t were a white couple?

Also the comment about "allowing" child 2 to learn English quicker.... My 2 ds's were born in a German speaking country, but we are English & speak English at home. I didn't prevent them from learning German, in fact did all I could to encourage it. But they didn't really start speaking German till they started Kindergarten at age 5, even tho they went to playgroups before this, it just wasn't enough for them to speak it. I feel bad that there's this opinion that immigrants should speak English over and above their mother tongue.Sure they should learn Engliish, but mother tongue is extremely improtant. I am English living in another country & do speak English to my children. If I didn't, then who would? And then when they visited nanny in Kent they wouldn't be able to speak to her. sorry rant rant. She can speak English now. The 2nd child almost certainly will learn English quicker, as will speak English to sister & her friends, assuming she isn't sent away! I think this discussion is a bit hard on her family that's all.

I do agree that the parent's are way off the mark to even consider sending her away to an Indian borading school & for bringing an aunt in to 'sort her out'. But maybe that was just an excuse to get some free babysitting?? Who knows?

Yes, the scan that Het's mum was having looked like the 12 weeks scan, so she may not even have been pregnant when they made the boarding school comment. I think it probably was just about not knowing how to handle her - ordinary little girl as she seemed.
Anyway, the boarding school idea seemed to have been dropped.

I didn't think they should speak English at home at all - it would be absurd to speak a different language from your mother tongue to your own children (although my Dad did to us). I'd think the same about anyone who was thinking of packing off their 5 year old to anywhere because her behaviour was "too difficult". It just seemed to me to be abdicating their parenting responsibility and taking a sledgehammer to crack a nut. She wasn't even that badly behaved - just needed a bit of positive attention, imo.

I don't think het's family would have thought it was that big a deal bringing another adult in to help. Child rearing is seen as a job for the whole family really. My dp was raised by his aunt more than his parents and is a lot closer to her than his mother. It was jsut the best thing at the time. They'll prob end up doing the same with their son, if they can't cope with het it'll prob happen all over again.

and she will pick up english at school, dp did. he only knew gujarati until he went to school.

My best friend in primary school was Italian, she couldn't speak a word of English when she joined school, her cousin had to translate everything for her. Then one day (after about six months) she just suddenly told her cousin to shut up because she could speak for herself, and from that day on, spoke. English. Fluently.

I really wouldn't worry about the English bit - children pick up language very quickly before adolescence as long as they're exposed to it consistently, which if you go to school here (and everyone else in the school also speaks English), you will be.

Oh and I thought it was sweet that they let het stay at the hospital, she was really involved in it all.

I though Charles (William's brother) was a right wet end

Quite enjoyed watching WIlliam heehee

IS this repeated at all does anyone know?
REally wish I hadn't missed it now!

no fighting in our house either - but then I get into agonies about whether I stop them too much doing rough and tumble and physical play. Hope I can usually tell the difference....

I think Het's parents are very typical of Indian parents and families I've met outside of Britain.

They prize education and obedience. The things considered normal behaviour for most children here are considered "naughty" by traditional Asians.

As for Het's mother wanting her to be an astronaut, it's very normal for Asian parents to have high hopes for their kids from a very young age.

Joke:
Asian granny to another Asian granny, "How old are your grandchildren?" Answer: "The doctor is five and the lawyer is six"

Because Het's parents are first generation immigrants, they will tend to bring a lot more immigrant baggage with them, including a very strong will to success and getting their children to succeed. After all when you start a new life in a new country, there is no safety net if you fail.