Protecting our Children, Part 2

[Lilka]

Thought I'd start a new thread because the other one was so big

Anyone else going to be watching?

I may just be ultra broody as TTC but that baby was ultra cute. I hope he gets a lovely family

That is one of the saddest documentaries I think I have ever seen :(.

hope he finds a lovely family. They will be pregnant again soon. Poor cycle. Reminds of many of my old cases :(

Off to bed now feel all depressed.Night all.

Ledkr is adoption sw still painful

If she was bothered though she
Wouldn't have missed appointments. At the end of the day they didn't love the baby enough IMO

They lived the drink/ each other more

Not kept up with the thread but the outcome of the case was so grimly predictable. For some reason I felt a lot more sorry for last weeks mum.

ledkr lots of C&F SW end up in adoption dont they? I am not suprised. At least you have a chance of someone smiling at you.

We all have to work in the hope that we will be the one who turns a family around. As long as we keep our boundaries and know when to ask for support, it cant be a bad thing can it?

people will only change if they really want to

Its not always as easy as 'wanting to'

Some people are too damaged to change enough to fit 'normality'

Sean and Marva are both damaged people, they use drink/drugs to self medicate. it would take a lot to heal them enough that they didnt rely on booze etc to get through daily life. another baby adopted...that makes their lives even shitter TBH more failure. they will probably just cling on to each other even more and drink even more.

Totally fucked up and really sad.

I think it was unrealistic to think Morva was going to stay away from Sean. Together 4 years, post natal in a strange place, living a different life and being pressured to give up alcohol. Bristol aint a big place.... their lives are too chaotic to change. this was the 'best outcome' for the baby.

What did the social worker say at the end?? Missed that bit.

Desperately sad. I was really impressed by the support they gave marva, a safe home and somebody to help with her baby. It just wasn't enough though.

I hope that Marva is offered help with contraception, her life is hard enough without the heartbreaking inevitability of having a child taken from her every few years.

Kayano its not about loving a child enough. Its about being in a place where they can fuction, where everything is chaos, about the pull of drink and drugs, the depression of not being good enough to keep your children, therefore you get more depressed.
Love is never enough in any case.

I think its complicated Kayano. I drove myself mad trying to work out what the hell DS's b.mum was doing and why she wasnt doing things.

I had to give up after a few months. Nothing made sense.
DS has mulitple DXs now and I suspect his b.mum has them too but they were never diagnosed.

I dont like her, I cant forgive her for what she did to DS but I do feel desperately sad for her. I can see why she is like she is.

She wouldnt thank me for my sympathy mind you. She thinks her life is fine and its the rest of us that are idiots.

Forget imposed contraception, how about giving the girl somewhere safe and supportive ti live then she wouldn't need to go back to Shaun and fulfil her needs by falling of again.

Unrealistic maybe - but they had to give her a chance. I agree this was the best outcome for the baby.

It's such a different world than the world I live in

Im in support and special guardianships so still see the rough end of the stick. Not much smiling really,slow adoption timescales lead to children being more affected imo.
Mrs I keep waiting to lose hope but it hasnt happened yet,i made more of a difference in residential childcare,still see some of them now all grown up and doing well. I should go and work in gap really

Starlight - she was given somewhere safe and supportive but still felt the need to go back to him, with baby and get so drunk that they couldn't even look after baby together for one night??

after last week I swore I wouldnt watch and wouldnt post on MN!

But here I am having done both.

This week I am desperately sad - for the baby and Marva and Shaun who seemed to have their own demons to fight but not quite able to get their on their own.

Why wasn't Tiff given what Marva was?

there not their

Agree it was the best outcome for that beautiful baby and the social workers tonight were excellent. Elaine and Annie couldn't have done any more to help. I feel so sad about the lives Shaun and Marva lead. I really think they are too damaged to change.

Jesus this was depressing. Very harsh final decision. For about 55 minutes I thought 'this is going to restore my faith in social workers' and then you see the depressing spiral. Marva clearly had a very long history of alcohol abuse and had managed to keep clean from 32 weeks' pregnant, so for over 3 months. That is very impressive given her history. Yes she stuffed up but getting her to leave the foster placement in circumstances where she had no accommodation was appalling. FFS obviously she went back to Sean - where else was she going to go? This social worker was much better throughout than the jobsworths on last week's programme but she is still the SW for the child; the mother was entitled to a SW herself, as a vulnerable adult, and if she had had this she may have had a chance of getting suitable accommodation when kicked out, so she could keep in contact with her son and prove herself. Instead a parent who obviously loved her child and was motivated to learn and change has permanently lost him after falling off the wagon. Aaaarrrgghh.

But they did Starlight, with someone who obviously cared helping her to look after her baby. If she had kept her side of the bargain, then they would have continued to support her. Is so so sad, but I hope the baby ends up having a happy family life.

All i can say to those who dont get it,is think of a thing in your childhood that still ps you off.Mine would e my Mums favouritism.It still annoys and affects me.Now imagine if it was something really serious,no wonder some people cant function properly and without self medicating.