Shiny new OBEM thread!

[sittinghippo]

Am rather looking forward to seeing the home made bikini for the 'relaxing zen' birth...

Do not often watch this but did last night.Had to laugh when "fashion" dad said they had enough outfits for a new one every day for the first 3 months oh bless his heart they will be through those in the first two weeks....

Loved the last couple, she was wonderful, (her mum had great skin ) and she was so calm about giving birth.

Kerry needed to be carmed down, she went in with the attitude that it was going to be hard (understandably as her firth birth was) but I think she made it a lot lot harder on herself then it needed be, and really I think she was her own worse enemy.
Glad her "little bruiser" was ok though

Wow! Reading this thread ...What horrid, nasty comments about a couple who likely could show plenty of us a few things about how childbirth could and should be...Oh, and how to behave towards each other.

My god, did I detect a little homophobia too? "Oooohhhh, he is sooo gay!"...Not said as though that was a good thing to be either by a few posters.

From what was shown, they were well mannered, considerate, totally focused and loving towards each other and didn't come onto the ward with a 6 page birth plan and bolshie attitude.

They coped and behaved beautifully from the start.

Makes a bit of a mockery of the NCT 'ownership' of knowledge and 'be prepared' doesn't it?

Of course, life won't be quite so 'Disney' when they are tired and poor and the glow wears off but how bloody nice to see such love and the birth was the most moving and peaceful I have ever seen.

Should they be MNers (and I doubt it), I'd like to congratulate and thank them for making me feel so happy and blissed out too.

Oh, and congratulations and a big thank you to Renae and her DH/Mother too. Another great example of a younger (relatively) couple coping magnificently. I won't forget the look of excited delight on the face of Gran-to-be as she realised baby was soon to be born.

Very envious of her Mother. I'd like a Mother like that.

DH had to ask for the sound to be turned down during Kerry's labour. Not because of the birth sounds but because of the cacophony coming from the midwives during the end of stage one up to mid stage two. All talking/chattering/shouting at once and poor husband trying to relay it all. Kerry looked totally drugged. I've never heard such an awful row as those midwives made. All saying different things if you listen carefully-or try.

First time I've watched this programme - I loved it. Felt sorry for Kerry and was breathing along with her. Glad the baby was ok - was panicking for her.

Although she had a difficult time it was important to show her otherwise some women may think that all labours will be like the other two women's experiences.

I've just been watching this on iplayer and crying buckets!

The waterbirth couple were so, so lovely.

All the mums and dads were lovely.

And the midwives.

"Makes a bit of a mockery of the NCT 'ownership' of knowledge and 'be prepared' doesn't it?"

I don't think antenatal classes make a huge to your experience of childbirth EXCEPT if they encourage you to make choices which enhance the likelihood of you accessing decent care. And I think NCT classes can do that sometimes.

shagmundfreud

Yes, I agree with the points you made re choices.

But I was pretty surprised at the venom of some of the posters here, watching it as it happened. You can tell they wanted / hoped / felt that this couple 'deserved' to have a hard time of it because they were 'unprepared' / fashiony/ not semi middle aged, middle class 'earthy' types. The slurs directed at the husband because of his clothes, optimistic, sunny young at heart nature were pretty repellent.

Glad they proved them all wrong.

I think the way the mw dealt with Kerry was awful. I have extreme needle phobia and am shitting myself, totally terrified about havin my baby.

If I had a mw like her with the shouting, the loud talking over me, implying that the baby's heartbeat changing was my fault... I'm sorry but I would be foaming and getting more
Hysterical the more she was around me. Total mismatch of personalities which I think only increased the tension/ fear for Kerry

I loved that couple's optimism. Loved it. It takes courage to be optimistic like that!

I was watching Kerry thinking that she would have benefited from some hypnobirthing training, because the only thing wrong with her labour was the terrible fear that she was experiencing.

I don't agree Kayano that the midwife was awful - she meant well and probably most women appreciate that straight talking approach. She was very kind, but she simply didn't have any useful strategies for dealing with the mum's feelings. I think when a mum is experiencing an emotional crisis in labour you can't rationalise her fear or talk her out of it.

I wonder that they don't use pethidine in that hospital. Because that's one of the few situations where you imagine it could be useful to have a bit of sedation - when she first came in.

kayano

So true. Are you getting any help for your needle phobia? Please ask your care team. You can also get really effective hypnotherapy for it if you can afford a little outlay on it. Could you not ask for a few sessions as a gift instead of something for the baby? Please consider it. It worked like a charm for me.

well the waterbirth couple were nice to each other, but I was a bit at his point system for appraising women, and their concerns (as articulated on the programme - which may not be representative at all I realise) to me were a little shallow - but that's their business I guess. But they were undoubtedly supportive of one another and you can't knock that - although I think the other partners were too just in different ways

"I think the other partners were too"

Yes, I agree. It's really moving to see how much they love their partners......

I actually had my phobia from 7 and spoke to doc about it at age 13. Before I even tried to
Conceive I was seeing a psychologist for months and actually get to see a hypnotherapist weekly 1 to one at the hospital because it is so severe.

I have already come so so far and I am quite chuffed with myself as I managed to get my bloods taken and my anti D injections.

I've written out my birth plan and hope to have a water birth. I am gettig extra help in the run up to having the baby as it's so unpredictable and In case I need a csection etc.

All my pregnancy problems have been psychological

I agree shag that the midwife meant well but it was still totally wrong the way she dealt with her. I would be livid with all the shouting and be making
More noise and would be more distressed with her around. I understand some women need a firm telling, but this was constant shouting and talking over her and was totally inappropriate for her level
Of fear

Yes - the mother was in a bad place, and the midwife was unable to reach her.

So she just shouted.

It's a bit like raising your voice when you're trying to communicate with someone who isn't speaking the same language as you.......

Thats really good Kayano. I had a bad one too and i'm a psych nurse giving fortnightly injections to community patients!

My phobia dated from a 1960's childhood stay in hospital where parents weren't allowed in and I was held down for a thumb stitching without a local (in a foreign country).
I had a lot of hypnotherapy and after having so many jabs because of a severe illness, i just lost my fear-it extinguished.

I used the techniques I learned for my patients and once for DD when she was having major spinal surgery. it's so wonderful to help others like I was helped.

Watched this last night.

I was very impressed with the first couple and how well Heather laboured and delivered. Yes they were a bit OTT and dreamy about the new baby, but weren't we all? Danny was slightly camp, but I know a few men who are perfectly straight and camp.

Felt really sorry for Kerry. I think the MW was very straight with her and rather than pandering to her screams and yelling so was telling her to shut up to calm down. She was ratehr harsh though, first time I've seen a MW go that way so cannot possibly comment if it was proffesional or not.

And the third cople, Renae was amazing. I thought PCOS as well, mostly because of her face and the acne on it. I have PCOS and as soon as she mentioned having problems I knew she was going to say that.

three beautiful babies at the end of the episode.

Loved Kerry's husband moaning about the frazzles

Oh and after reading the C4 OBEM website, it appears Kerry and Pauls first daughter has CF, so no wonder they were both nervous. Their new baby does not have CF.

That wasn't mentioned on the TV was it 5? That makes her panic even more understandable.

Just watching now. Amazing waterbirth - surprised the MW didn't let her bring the baby up herself though? What a sweet couple!

nursenic- you have completely articulated what I felt about the "Disney" couple as I trawled through this thread today.

I am disgusted at the venom & scathing comments directed to Heather & her husband.
Fwiw, I think she did amazingly well & the support her husband gave her & her quiet determination was beautiful to watch.

No it wasn't (conveniently) but there is a small interview on the C4 page about it.

Goodness, after promising myself not to watch, i did succumb to peer pressure and just peeked at 4onD.

Just my opinion, of course, but Kerry's mw was both unprofessional (did not have the right strategies to deal with Kerry's very understandable fear) and patronizing/condescending. I hope I do not get anyone like this in my labour due in June. Fear of childbirth must be one of the most important issues (besides clinical) healthcare prof have to deal with - don't they get some professional coaching of how to calm people down, and that is NOT shouting orders at them. Incidentally, Kerry's mw spotted her fear much earlier then the disastrous pushing stage, so they did have some good time to work together, but where was she?

I guess I am just idealistic at what mw should be doing for women in labour.