One Born Every Minute. Tissues and Judgy Pants at the ready!

[beejayel]

Am a teensy bit excited. And NOT pregnant this series, so can watch without that sense of impending doom.

MsEltoneNWhine I thought that but then Man U winning 3-0 wouldn't work with him getting excited at Leeds scoring

Oooh further google investigation has found that filming started in September so it must have been then, and he must have had duff info on the score

Maybe he is a Man U fan?

Yup, faulty info on the state of play - they never showed anything else about the match, he must have just been confused!

RE the first episode and the young upset dad-

Thought the decision that he should miss his son's birth was horrendous and selfish. Staff should have made room. He was actually coping and assisting better than many middle class, middle aged fathers to be, the way in which he helped his partner through second stage pushing.

What message has this given this young teenage Father?

That when the going gets tough, he is not needed, he is not important or necessary enough to be there. So, Mum and MIL do not be too surprised if he clears off in the future. Because you have already 'fashioned' the template.

Give over. Theatres are crowded, busy, intense places. She was young and he asked her she wanted with her for the very, very frightening thing that was about to happen to her. She said her mum. I fail to see how that is fashioning a template.

Hat Boy has some issues and needs to deal with them. Otherwise all three of them will struggle badly.

I just watched this, so sad that army dad only got one day with his baby girl. Whenever I see anything like this I just hope they have a safe deployment. Loved his wishes for his dd, really touching.

As for the other couple. What would worry me is not that he freaked out over the situation his gf and ds were in - highly stressed situation indeed. I just hope that, when baby has kept them up for a few weeks and they are running on adrenaline because of lack of sleep that he doesn't lash out and doesn't run off to the pub leaving her to cope on her own. It happens too often.

The look on the girl's mum's face said it all. Instead of being able to concentrate on her dd and gd she had a fairly aggressive boy to deal with. Hopefully he pulls his act together.

That Labour Ward looked massive. I agree hat lad did have his nose pushed out of joint and I felt sorry for him. I think a midwive could've took him somewhere nearer to theatre and sat with him. He was totally fine once he'd seen his son. It's so different to the US programme!! Ours seems much more earthy!

Ps that baby wasn't as dead as can be, it was in shock.

Yes if you say so HereIGo

aries

Yes it is setting a precedent. A family is being born, not just a baby. He was given a very strong message that he was superfluous. No matter how frightening the birth process may or may not be, MTB did not actually appear that engaged with the decision making process regarding who should be there. A supportive midwife could have quietly spoken to her and explained the value of dad's presence.
I have been in plenty of theatres both on a personal level and many times professionally. Yes they can be busy. They can also be very calm, large, airy rooms with plenty of space for extra bystanders. After all, room is frequently made for several students-doctors, nurses, radiographers, theatre techs etc to watch theatre proceedings!
lBut he was coping and coaching her well. He started to founder when he was left on his own, no support with a clearly disengaged parent of his own (which the earlier interview with the couple gave some insight into).

And youth is not a reason to assume somebody will be less able to cope or experience sudden complications rendering them susceptible to behavioural problems. The two series of this show has shown plenty of older parents to be carrying on either like lunatics, demanding needy children or just plain assholes.

It was the rule that only one family member could accompany MTB into theatre. Perhaps the rule should be changed - I don't know. It is only a fairly recent development that anyone is allowed in theatre with MTB. They asked her who she wanted and she chose her mum. IMHO, it was the more sensible choice. She was a young girl and she wanted her mum. Yes, there were a lot of people in the theatre but they were all medical people.

Yes, the young father was left on his own (not actually alone - he had his parents with him) but no there were no medical staff to look after him. Perhaps looking after DTBs is not part of their remit. However, if he had been able stay in the unit to talk to staff in a calmer manner, they may have been able to explain what was happening and provide some reassurance.

Quite agree cecilyp with the sheer lack of care and attention given to the father to be. People put their cats out at night with more consideration than he appeared to get. Obviously this programme is edited and who knows whether he was talked to but it seemed unlikely. He had to call his parents to come to the hospital to be with him also. Until then he was alone. The grandmother was also a young mother, I think they said and single parenting too. A shame that she didn't think about protecting and strengthening the parental bond between this young couple. No matter how much we love and want to protect our children, sometimes we have to stand aside in favour of a child's partner and gently but firmly explain that their right and role is to be by the mum to be's side and to trust in this.
Mum is there to mop up the tears if it all goes wrong later on. But the 'girl' was 21 wasn't she? Correct me if i'm mistaken about her age but if she is 21, that's not that young. My parent's generation were starting their families around that age and that was the norm.

Sorry, nursenic, I wasn't really agreeing with you that fathers to be need care and attention on the labour ward. He simply was not the medical staff's priority at that time, and rightly so. I thought his parents were already at the hospital, though not completely sure. One minute you complain about him not being treated as an adult and the next write about him as a poor little boy who was left all alone.

Do you really think the mum should have refused to go to theatre with her daughter when it was she who was chosen? Do you really have much faith that this couple will become a strong family unit, or would have done if the father had been allowed in theatre? The girl's age was given as 18 and she seemed quite a young 18. Yes, your parents' generation started families at that age and many were strong and successful. However, they seemed to manage without fathers being in the delivery room even for the most straightforward birth, let alone being allowed in the operating theatre.

I thought the last line of your post CecilyP sounded supportive of the young man and of his equal validity in the birth of his child and creation of his family unit--

"but no there were no medical staff to look after him. Perhaps looking after DTBs is not part of their remit. However, if he had been able stay in the unit to talk to staff in a calmer manner, they may have been able to explain what was happening and provide some reassurance".

Sorry, my mistake.

Actually MTB in earlier decades were without any family support as a rule. Not just DTB. And if you re-watch that episode, you will see that the MTB was pretty non-commital about the whole question. She expressed no strong opinion and was not emphatic about whom should be there. Like I said, the midwife maybe could have acted as a stronger advocate for the DTB so that within the time constraints, he might have had a better chance of being there.

And if it makes little or no difference to a young couples future stability whether a future father is there or not then that contradicts an awful lot of information received during my own midwifery placement and what i was privy to working alongside young parents to be whilst seconded to a young persons unit.

Yes, sorry, I see where the misunderstanding came from. I meant stay within the maternity unit insted of going off into the hospital grounds, whereas I think you thought I meant stay in the operating theatre. If you have trained as a midwife, I guess you will know the rationale behind the rule of only one person accompanying the MTB into theatre - perhaps you don't agree with it.

Are there any stats to show that young couples are likely the be more stable in the long term if the future father is there. I guess if he doesn't show up at all, as with one episode in the last series, it is not a good sign for any future relationship. But if he is there, but can't be at the actual birth because of medical complications, would that not still be a sign of his commitment?

Yes it would be a sign of his commitment to be there at all, these days sadly.#

My impression of his thought processes was that to be left alone in such an alien environment was more than he could cope with. Maybe he felt so forgotten about or superfluous that he may as well not have been there. Cigarettes as horrid as they are, helped him cope and now smoking zones are so far away from the hospital, he had to go far away. I pitied him because of his own parents attitude. The mother especially seemed pretty volatile and high expressed emotion. The girls mother on the other hand appeared passive to the nth degree.

I'm not a fan of any rigid rule applied to all scenarios. I find using ones discretion whether it be 'team' discretion or the decision of one should be allowed more. Experienced staff generally have a good nose for risk and TBH, not all students across the health disciplines have behaved appropriately or ideally whilst in theatres/scrub or anaesthesia rooms. BTW I haven't trained as a midwife. i am a psych nurse who had a special interest in pregnancy and post partum related mental health issues. During my training yrs ago i did an elective L+D placement and i have been seconded to midwifery teams in the past to provide mental health liaison.

I dont know of any midwives that like this show. Not one.

Danny is irritating me

Yes. Irritating.

Can't believe how easy Heather made it look!