Some of my favourite CJ/Josh moments (courtesy of WikiQuote)
Josh: A couple of things for you to bear in mind. First of all, he didn't know she was a call girl when he slept with her. He didn't pay her. He didn't participate in, have knowledge of, or witness anything illegal. Or for that matter, unethical, amoral, or suspect.
C.J.: Okay. A couple things for you to bear in mind. None of that matters on Hard Copy!
Josh: You're overreacting.
C.J.: Am I?
Josh: Yes.
C.J.: As women are prone to do.
Josh: That's not what I meant.
C.J.: That's always what you mean.
Josh: You know what, C.J., I really think I'm the best judge of what I mean, you paranoid Berkeley shiksa feminista! ...whoa, that was way too far.
C.J.: No, no. Well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist Harvard fascist missed-the-deans-list-two-semesters-in-a-row Yankee jackass!
Josh: Feel better getting that off your chest there, C.J.?
C.J.: I'm a whole new woman.
Josh: You look like a million bucks, by the way.
C.J.: Don't try to make up with me.
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CJ: Let me explain something to you. This is sort of my field. The people on these sites? They're the cast of One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest. The muu-muu-wearing Parliament smoker? That's Nurse Ratched. When Nurse Ratched is unhappy, the patients are unhappy. You? You're McMurphy. You swoop in with your card games and fishing trips -
Josh: I didn't swoop in, I came in the exact same way everyone else did.
CJ: Well, now I'm telling you to open the wardroom window and climb on out before they give you a pre-frontal lobotomy and I have to smother you with a pillow.
Josh: [pause] You're...?
CJ: [nodding] I'm Chief Bromden, yes, at this particular moment. I'm assigning an intern from the press office to that website. They're going to check it every night before they go home. If they discover you've been there I'm going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass - What?
Josh: Technically, I outrank you...
CJ: So far up your ass!
Josh: Okay.
CJ: Okay.
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Josh: We've got a bit of a sticky wicket.
C.J.: Please don't tell me I'm staying here and working late tonight.
Josh: I need you to read a report.
C.J.: I'm a woman in her prime, Josh, I'm a prime woman.
Josh: There's no doubt about it, but I need you to read this anyway.
C.J.: What is it?
Josh: We want Congress to sign off on funds for a hundred thousand new teachers. They say, fine, but you gotta stipulate that in Sex Ed classes....
C.J.: Abstinence only?
Josh: Yes.
C.J.: I would have no trouble passing such a class.
Josh: We commissioned a report about a year ago on Sex Education in public schools, and, well, this is it.
C.J.: What's it say?
Josh: It's not good.
C.J.: How's it not good?
Josh: It says basically that teaching abstinence only doesn't work?that people are going to be prone to have sex whether they're cautioned against it or not.
C.J.: Well, what are they recommending?
Josh: Something called "abstinence plus".
C.J.: Abstinence plus?
Josh: Yes.
C.J.: What's that mean?
Josh: Well, Sam's renamed it 'everything but'.
C.J.: Everything but?
Josh: Yes.
C.J.: Ah.
Josh: Yes.
C.J.: They want teachers to teach...
Josh: Yes.
C.J.: And so the sticky wicket joke was..?
Josh: A regrettable pun. Should I order you some food?
C.J.: Y'know, I can't remember the last time I got home before midnight.
Josh: By the way, pages 27 to 33? A couple of things every girl should know.
C.J.: Get me a salad.
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