one born every minute 14/3

[ohmeohmy]

[[

something while you wait]]

That explains it. Dad was wet! Honestly! It's not about you! And surely you don't stand at the business end, you stay at the head with a big blue tent shielding you from the slicing and dicing? Glad he regretted it!

Oh I don't know. Better not to have somebody in theatre who honestly is going to struggle with it. You don't need a fainter with you. It's okay for him to not be comfortable in an operating theatre.

i dont agree showy - she has no choice why should he wimp out of even watching?

I liked Dave and Oakley much better than the other couple. I also think corridor man should have gone to theatre.....men who don't go only regret it later.

Why should he wimp out of watching? For many, many reasons. Because he's a person too and entitled to make his choices. His wife was well aware in advance of the chances that he wouldn't cope well.

And if you're going into an operating theatre, taking somebody in who does NOT want to be there, who could faint, who could cause undue stress and upset to the woman lying there in stirrups because they're having a panic attack, crying, being sick whatever, is not advisable. And the attention of the medical staff needs to remain firmly on the woman delivering the baby.

My Dad wasn't at the birth of my older brother, he was at my birth. He in all honestly wishes he hadn't been. And that's absolutely fine by me.

i loathe blood but if the tables were turned i would feel bound by both love and duty to be there for dp

And that's right for you.

I've got a good male friend who is really struggling with ptsd following the birth of his first. He tried to man up, believing it to be his duty. And he berates himself daily because going against his instincts means that he thinks he's failing as a parent every day because he is crippled by what happened at the birth. His dw is a good friend too and wishes she'd been more insistent on taking somebody else in.

You just can't speak for other people. The woman on OBEM seemed just fine with her dh's decision.

Sometimes supporting your partner in the best way possible doesn't manifest itself in the way other people think it should.

I watched this in full earlier- I thought that Dave and oakley were a great couple, I really liked him- his past is irrelevant because he clearly is a nice bloke and thinks the world of her.

I really felt for Carol when she apologised for how large her legs were, she looked terrified aswell.

This thread has annoyed me more than anything else I have ever read on MN.

I spend a large chunk of my time working with people who are on methadone. Don't get me wrong, some of them carrying on using heroin on top but there are plenty who try really hard to sort their lives out.

Loads of these people are parents and most of them make bloody good parents. For one thing, they know they aren't perfect and they try so hard. Whether they succeed might be up for debate, but I guess it depends on what you class as success - your measures might be very different from theirs.

Having a baby is often the time they pull themselves together and sort their lives out, and when it works it's amazing.

i thought Dave was a waste of space, yeah yeah i know hes probably a lovely bloke, but i bet you anything he hasn't got a job, car or house, and will spend all his life claiming all he can, not providing for the baby, (was it his only child?) and IMO seems too fickle and flighty to spend the rest of his life with her, i think he will go on a binge one day and just not turn up, and Oakley will eventually come to her senses and completely outgrow him, and in about 10 years time will see what her parents were talking about, beautiful baby girl they had, and i think their intentions were sincere but it wont last!! IMO

Aunty Doris - new to mumsnet ?

how on earth can you make that sort of assessment of a person's future based on snippets from a hour long programme

Nah not new to Mumsnet.

Just things very rarely annoy me that much!! ;)

Methadone users and naturally heroin addicts are far more likely to end up with their child removed by Ss or on the at risk register.

They are also very good at giving health professionals a load of old flannel about how good their intentions are.

Poor baby, not in for an easy life I fear.

Just goes to show, even MN has it's fair share of narrow minded bigots!

There is also good research that shows that whilst children of heroin and/or methadone users have their children removed more often, the children that are most at risk are those of alcoholics... however, they get removed least often.

It's like most things, some people are brilliant parents, some are shocking and most are good enough.

amen to that Aunty D as the survivor child of a lush

All substance abusers whether it be alcohol, drugs or whatever else are selfish and weak willed until they get and stay clean. While they are in the thrall of their chosen addiction any child will always come last.

roundorange i can make those assumptions because it is painfully obvious to see from his body language and the words and reactions he had to everything to quickly realise what sort of person he is, cant you do this with people that you meet and observe??? i also work for the NHS in that area, and have seen this situation hundreds of times and whilst you should never treat anyone any differently, and never judge people when you are in the working environment,you can see fairly quickly what sort of personality a person has!

he may stay off drugs for the rest of his life- good for him, but what i said was that he is too fickle and flighty, too stick around forever, and i stand by that opinion, he was very immature for a 33 year old man which is why he got on so well with an 18 years girl!