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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Hair Removal for a 12/13 year old

160 replies

Bettyj69 · 21/03/2010 13:25

Help please Mums. My 12 year old (13 in Aug) has asked can she 'shave' her legs. She doesn't want to shave them, having had a few horror stories from friends who have cut themselves shaving.

Any recommendations as to what is the best form of hair removal for ones so young?

Much appreciated.

OP posts:
snowkitten · 29/04/2010 22:19

i treated dd to a leg wax age 12 as she is heavily involved in squad gymnasticsa nd has to show her legs off a lot. She was vry excited about it and 8 weeks later we are just bookig our next appt. It was dome privately at the waxers home and she was totall comfortable with teh whole experience. it was well worth it!

deaddei · 01/05/2010 12:05

DD (nearly 14) is going for first leg wax in a few weeks- she's off to Spain for a sports trip and also does gymnastics like snowkitten's dd.
I wish my mum had done that with me- I am 50 and am considering having laser treatment on legs- I shave every day.
I hate hairy legs and armpits- if others want to have them that's fine. But I don't.
DD does not wear makeup apart from lip gloss, and is not interested in boys.
But she has a good skin care regime, eats sensibly and does loads of sport.

NicholasArnold · 06/05/2010 10:28

I am researching a paper which I am writing on our culture's sexualisation of pre-pubescent girls (I have two children), and came across your website. I found all the comments on this issue interesting and illuminating. One or two Urban Myths are floating around:

How do we know the age of puberty is dropping? = we don't - no-one is collecting any statistics on it now, and no-one was before.

Cultures have been depilating for millenia = yes, SOME cultures; others don't care or like their hair - and South American Amerindians (very smooth) are fanatical depilators. Remember that if your pubic hair fell out because of disease in the C18, you got a pubic wig, a "merkin". It'd ALL a matter of temporary cultural preference.

  • and so on.

The debate is (naturally) very much about contemporary English (and American) culture. I don't under-rate for a second the merciless pressure daughters are under from their peers, carefully tribalised to provide the easiest pickings for our consumer economy. But I am coming to the conclusion that the sexualisation of the immature is mirrored by the infantilisation of adults - and the increasingly pathological loathing of body-hair, especially the shaved pubis, seems to me to be a very sinister sign: one of its (not directly intended) messages is "have sex with children" - and lo and behold we have sexualised them all ready for it. Of course, we can't admit that our culture is doing this all for cash, so we invent armies of predatory paedophiles - whom we actually encourage by the pressure we put on little girls to become sex objects.

It's not a nice culture we live in.

However, after that digression: it's a pity that young daughters should have to consider such things, but contemporary culture is very much less tolerant and very much less individualistic than it used to be. You do as your peers tell you, or woe betide you... As long as the girl in question is given the perspective, is allowed to realise that this is an illogical external pressure, which she is at liberty to resist, now or later, as long as she does not become fetishistic about depilation, it seeems to me that the issue comes down to what is most physically pleasant and least physically damaging.

(Let's not get into the psychological damage...)

snowkitten · 16/05/2010 19:46

had dd's waxed twice now. Over in 20 mins and lasts about 6 - 8 weeks. Sorted!

Bunny007 · 09/05/2013 21:48

normastanleyfletcher "Oh dear god - is being hairless the complete panacea of pubescent girls and their mothers now". Maybe you could build my 12yr old daughters self-esteem back up after nasty comments about facial hair? Or maybe you would like to explain why you feel we shouldn't be trying to make our child's school life less miserable by helping them to combat these insecurities? shouldn't we as parents be allowed to help our children in any way we can during puberty? Maybe you don't have children which is why you're producing such an insensitive comment!!!?

MissFenella · 09/05/2013 21:59

My DD is 7 and has thick dark hair on her legs. She is very concious of it, not because she is sexualised but because she is the only person in school with thick dark hair on their legs.

As soon as I feel she is old enough, if she wants to (and I am sure she will ask) I will help her remove the hair in the safest way possible.

Yes she should be able to be 'natural', but we don't live in that world do we.

pseudonymousperson · 09/04/2014 01:54

I am not a parent. But a thirteen yo and just wanted to say that I have been waxing since I was 7 if it is an emergency I will use veet. But I recommend waxing it stopped stinging yrs ago

Flapjax · 22/04/2016 15:42

do you recommend any particular wax for 12 yo under arms,, oh and what does dd mean?

CoolAidJD · 08/01/2017 19:45

Don't worry I shaved at 12 nothing happened just make sure to go downwards and also after wash with lotion to avoid irrigation and ur skin will be smooth and that's it. 🙂

JustDanceAddict · 08/01/2017 20:50

We did cream first, then got them waxed and now she shaves (age 14). She is hairy!!

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