Hair Removal for a 12/13 year old

[Bettyj69]

Help please Mums. My 12 year old (13 in Aug) has asked can she 'shave' her legs. She doesn't want to shave them, having had a few horror stories from friends who have cut themselves shaving.

Any recommendations as to what is the best form of hair removal for ones so young?

Much appreciated.

DD started shaving underarms at aged 9! I know very young but she had to swim and it's not fair to insist that they don't remove it.

Some girls have more of a problem than others. I would recommend full leg waxing as soon as is required. Also get checked out for any hormonal problems. The contraceptive pill can help minimise it over time, together with the waxing.

Jamesandthegiantbanana.......It's going to take more than a couple of centuries for the thought of hair removal to be deemed as a daft.
The history of hair removal goes back to the Stone Age,around 100,00BC where 2 shells were used as tweezers.

Women have used depilatries from 4,000 - 3,000Bc when they used ingredients that you won't find in your average tube of Veet, arsenic, quicklime and starch.

Romen women used razors (probably not Bic though) and used Bryonia as their chosen hair remover.
However the Greek Women were a bit more robust in their approach to being fuzz free. Around about 400BC they removed hair from their legs by singeing it with a lamp!
(Now that makes waxing look like hair removal for softies tbh!!)

Poppaea, Nero's wife, liked to use deplitaory on a daily basis - obviously a women with far too much time on her hands - she used ingrediants such as ivy gum, ass's fat and (yikes!!) powdered viper.

The Op's DD only want to shave her legs. However in the Middle Ages the ideal of beauty was the removal of all hair including eyebrows an lashes.

Now in the 1600's Aritocratic women still plucked their hair and shaved their foreheads to - GET THIS - press on mouse skin eyebrows.

The French had to take things furher though in the 1700's. They went completly bald so that they could wear a wig!

By the 1800's European women were still making depilatries but this time the inngrediants were a bit kinder as they contained chopped oak and French wine.

And so it goes on..... The Hollywood Screne Legends in the 1940's would shave off their eyebrows and pencil them back on.

I found that quite interesting and thought I'd share it with you all! The pursuit of being hair free is nothing new and I don't think it will be going away any time soon

I don't think for one minute body hair is 'unclean' I, like many thousands of women, feel better without it on show.

Free choice and all that but I feel a teenager at 13 is quite capable of making decisions on body hair and what she feels happy with. I mean it's not like it irreversable if she gets fed up and wants to not bother during the winter months.

It's obviously VERY important that we do not allow our young boys to be disgusted by the sight of female hair With the exception of extremely hirsute pubescents, we seem to be talking here about removing hair as soon as it appears so that we can pretend it doesn't even exist. Very, very screwed up. I worry for my son as well as my daughter.

You are right to be worried about sons, also, as the fashion is for them to have hair free chests. Lot's of women say they don't like the sight of back hair on men so it works both ways.

Good (and interesting) post Upahill.

Very interesting but it still doesn't take away from the fact that it is a daft, pointless vain practice, one that I hope eventually we do grow out of.

But is it any more vain than wanting to keep up to date with the style of your clothes, or manicuring your nails or getting a hair cut in a style that suits and flatters your shape?
It can be argued that all these things are unnecessary and vain but not many people on MN would go out through the front door without checking that they looked OK. Once they think they look ok they FEEL Ok.

Lots of things can be seen to be vain and pointless - getting ears piereced, putting on some lip gloss, curling hair, using GHD's, anything- but people do both male and female young and old.

upahill, I absolutely agree with you

lots of things are vain and pointless.... and should be restricted to adults

I would rather my young dd spent her time concentrating on schoolwork, playing with our dog, listening to the pre-pubescent Justin Bieber over and over again

than worrying about the best way to remove all traces of horrible, nasty hair from her body...

does that seem a good use of a young girl's time, to you ?

Nobody suggested all the body hair to be removed. I don't think it is nasty and I don't think hair removal takes up that much time that they can't still watch Glee, go out with mates, do homework and every thing else. If they are shaving it takes a couple of minutes in the shower. If they are using a cream it takes 15 mins once every week or so. Hardly life halting and restricting tbh.

Going back to the OP, the DD is nearly 13. She is at a transitional stage and will be learning new things. If it was my daughter AND she had asked me what she should do I would be looking at all options. If it hadn't been mentioned I would leave it to the time it was and not force an issue.

Every other parent can do what is right for them and their children. I was responding to this post by giving the OP advised she asked for.

systematic removal does suggest there is something nasty and un-natural about body hair though...in my world that isn't a thought I would be reinforcing in a young girl

and that was my response to the OP

gonaenodaethat, are those mittens okay then? or would your hair need to be very fine like youngsters? Also, does it take a long time?
My ladyshave has a bar of that sandpapery stuff and it does smooth the skin.

Wax if she is quite hairy, epilate if not very hairy.

I HATE the idea that boys are teasing girls for their body hair

There is something so intrinsically wrong with that.

DD is only 3 now and if genes are anything to go by will have fine blonde fuzz all her life as myself and father do, however if that were not the case after discussion I would allow her to remove the hair that was making her miserable. But I do wonder how this "extreme" removal of body hair trend (the hollywood, Brazilian etc.) is affecting young people who perceive female pubic hair as something disgusting.

Oh yes the sandpapery hair removal mits are fabulous for legs- it rubs it all off, doesn't hurt, comes back finer, and you can't cut yourself. No stubble involved. No commitment required. Recommended

I really don't get why some posters are so excited about the removal of female body hair. Lots and lots of cultures have practised the removal of body hair, throughout history, because they found the female body more attractive when hairless. Why is this different to washing and styling one's head hair, in order to be more attractive, or taking care of your feet and hands so that they are soft and the nails neat?

Fair enough AF. I just remember spikey hairs poking through my tights at school and when I noticed hair at the top of my thighs when I was in a swimming costume I knew that I didn't want it. No big deal at all. I just got shut of it. Nobody suggested it was unclean or dirty or anything like that. It didn't take over my life. I still found time to do my homework and read Sounds and have friends. I can't even remember discussing what other mates did to get rid of their hair tbh. It was a non issue.

A bigger deal was made in our house because I asked if I could use tampons instead of towels. NOW that was an issue!

ohhh, let's not go there, upahill

we shall agree to disagree < reasonable emoticon >

yeah AF of course!

piprabbit that was me - I used to wear the socks long as I left the house so my Mum couldn't see that I'd shaved and then push them down on the school bus (it was very very uncool to wear long socks long when I was at school).

I wish that I hadn't been teased, or that I'd had lighter hair so it didn't show as much, or that I had been a super-confident child who could toss her head at the bullies and say I don't care what you think. Sadly none of the above were true for me and at the time the only solution I could see was to remove the hair.

the plenty of cultures thing isn't such a great line. other cultures circumcise, other cultures put plates in their lips, other cultures extend their ears, other cultures put rings round their necks, other cultures subjugate women in an open and systematic manner because they think they are lesser creatures.

well of course you wish that, bicnod, i think that;;s fair enough. i wish that, rather than your mum saying no and leaving it at that, she had sought to discuss the matter with you and opened your mind up to whether or not it was the right thing to do. you may well have decided it was, btw, but at least you'd have addressed the issues, iykwim?

good point singey,

Singe - Are you saying that removing hair from your legs or underarms is subjugating women?
Is men shaving or removing chest hair subjugating men?

Removing body hair doesn't have to be permanent (usually isn't afaik) and isn't harmful to the individual so not quite in the same league as some of the othe things you mention. It is more on a par with having a haircut.

Yep, I agree LeSinge. It would have been better for my Mum to have a conversation about it. Sadly she just said no - it wasn't even no, you're lovely as you are, it was just no. I suspect that it was more about control with my Mum rather than some deep-seated feminist beliefs, but that's a whole other thread!

If I ever have a DD who wants to remove hair at 12/13 I would definitely want to talk to her about it and find out why she wanted to. But I wouldn't ever stop her if she was unhappy/being teased etc.

I agree that a shift in society's attitude towards women and hair is what's needed but I seriously doubt that I would be prepared to sacrifice my DD's happiness in pursuit of that end.