Hair Removal for a 12/13 year old

[Bettyj69]

Help please Mums. My 12 year old (13 in Aug) has asked can she 'shave' her legs. She doesn't want to shave them, having had a few horror stories from friends who have cut themselves shaving.

Any recommendations as to what is the best form of hair removal for ones so young?

Much appreciated.

[Bicnod]

Haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to say that when I was 13 I had dark hair on my legs and asked my Mum if I could shave them.

I was really embarrassed about them and was teased by boys at school - it was definitely affecting my self-esteem.

My Mum said no, I was too young. I didn't know what to do and in the end I stole my dad's razors and shaved them anyway as I just couldn't carry on going to school with such hairy legs.

I hid this fact from my Mum by wearing long socks.

If I have a DD (currently have a DS, 11 months, so not really an issue) I will definitely listen to her when she says she wants to shave her legs/wear deoderant/pluck her eyebrows. I wasn't allowed to do any of the above and ended up being quite devious and doing them all anyway...

[LeSingeEstDansLarbre]

yep, shiny, it's quite different taking things on a case by case basis to just assuming that your child is better off hairless. that might be some people's hang-up, but it's not universal.

also i take it that these girls were never teased again by boys, having waxed? because god forbid they start slagging her off for having no tits, cos you'll have to cough up for the boob job.

it's all so unquestioning, it's so depressing.

[cariboo]

All of sudden the thread veered to 10-11 yr olds - I believe OP said 12-13?

At the age of puberty and only if the child feels uncomfortable with her body hair. Any younger is ridiculous & dangerous.

[LeSingeEstDansLarbre]

but cariboo, might it not also be a good thing to discuss why a child would feel uncomfortable with what is a natural part of her puberty? should everything that young girls do be governed by a fear of teasing?

i think i was about fourteen as well, shiny, and used my dad's disposable bics. my mum wasn't much help as she is pretty hair free, but me and my sister inherited our dad's dark hair. tbh it's such a faff to get rid of that i had to mostly get used to it. shaving or veet gives me an atrocious rash and by the time that clears up the stubble is back, and waxing is UNBELIEVABLY painful, so bad that i have to take to my bed for the afternoon as i have such an adrenalin rush that i crash. the hairs in my case are apparently very deeply embedded. so, i got used to them, shaved them for a first shag or three and then back they come. no man ever teased me about it, because confidence is sexy.

I shave the lower legs for summer and that's about it... and yet here i am, married, with children, a career and a brain, not a social outcast... how can that even be possible?!

[juuule]

Lesinge i'm not sure what point it is that you are trying to make. Are you saying that girls shouldn't remove hair? or are you saying it's okay from 14y (when you started to remove yours) or just that it shouldn't be taken as "at 12 you should shave" type of thing (which I don't think is the case anyway).

If mine want to remove hair then I'd give them advice on it. I have never brought it up first as unless it is bothering them then it's not bothering me either.

[LeSingeEstDansLarbre]

i'm saying that women shouldn't unthinkingly equate hair with dirt, as a few have done here. i tried shaving at fourteen, it didn't really work, as i say, so i've had to come to terms with it. it's not a given that people will tease and that self-esteem will suffer, and to assume that this will be the case for everyone is dangerous, unhealthy, anti-feminist and a bit thick. is wot i think.

[midnightexpress]

I'm with singe on this one. My DN is 16 and she and all her female friends now shave/wax their entire pubic area - it's now regarded a completely normal, and I think that A (some of the comments on this thread) leads to B (premature sexualisation, feelings of shame about bodily hair etc etc). It's just another thing for girls to get hung up about, which they need like a hole in the head.

[zazen]

Wow a lot of crazy judgements on this thread.

I was an early developer, by that I mean that I developed before my peer group, not that I was outside the normal range of development for girls of my socio-economic group /class and race. I had a lot of very noticiable black pubic hair at 10.

If my hairy Dd wants to wax at 9 or even 8 then I will let her. I let her see me wax my legs with the sugaring product NADS - it's important to be able to talk about these things, not hide them away so children have to steal and experiment and hide the results.

I was bullied relentlessly by non hairy girls in school and it almost put me off doing things I loved - like swimming, basket ball and hockey. I really hated those hairless bitches and their self satisfied comments - still do I suppose .

Bring hairy in a hairless world - whether some girls aren't developed or just have non-hairy genes - is TORTURE.

Unless you have been a hairy pre teen or a hairy teen you really don't know what bitchiness is, and I think you aren't really informed enough to spout rubbish that grooming is about early sexualisation of girls.
I just can't see how removing hair on leg or underarms can lead to thongs - like some kind of entry level grooming - and they'll end up in a strip club in vegas!! Please

I'm advocating upholding a young girl's self esteem, by allowing her to groom herself as she sees fit.

Most of our Dds are going to develop earlier due to better nutrition etc. What are we going to do then, stick our heads in the sand wrt to their personal grooming and never know that they are being bullied or harming themselves with stolen razors, because they are 'hairy marys', on principle?

I don't think personal grooming as sexualisation -it's a self esteem issue - I wonder if we're not too hypervigalent about sexualisation and have lost common sense.

"Honi soit qui mal y pense"

.

[gonaenodaethat]

What about one of these?
I used this as a teenager. No pain, no chemicals, easy to use and a good result.

[choosyfloosy]

When I read these threads I pretty much think the only answer is niqabs all round and single-sex education. God. I think it's awful that any pubescent child feels self-conscious about their hair. And I think it's awful that any parent would prevent their child from feeling more comfortable at school/out and about. My heart goes out to all daughters and mothers of daughters dealing with this. If I ever hear my son make any comment about a woman's body hair, God help him

[AnyFucker]

and so the posters continue to miss the point...

< sigh >

[LeSingeEstDansLarbre]

zazen, i started my periods at ten and was and am hairy. really, this is a self-confidence thing. i was never bullied about my hair, why bother, when they had spots and specs to pick on?

seriously, what are you going to do in the coming years when all your kids' pals are getting boob jobs and botox? teach your daughters how to handle bullies, don't just give into them. because once their legs are hairless they'll find something else to pick on if they're so inclined.

[LeSingeEstDansLarbre]

and choosy, to be clear. what i am advocating is helping children to feel comfortable in their own skin, and if that's a bit hairy, then okay. not just ignoring a child who is being bullied, or capitulating to the bullies.

[piprabbit]

What I don't understand is why, for example, one poster felt teased about having hairy legs so shaved and then hid the evidence by wearing long socks. Why not just wear the long socks in the first place.

Why if girls are teased about their body hair, do we feel the only solution is to remove the body hair? WHy not try and give our daughters the tools they will need to handle the inevitable teasing about all most anything that seems to be part of being at secondary school.

[tom57]

Betty.Children copy adults.DD asked at 10 if she could remove the hair from her legs,I found some of those 'sandpaper' mits-remember them? very exciting for her sanding away.No chemicals,no scary home waxing or big trips to the salon.In fact it was such a non event she's only done it a few times in the last year and now has hairy legs again but not an issue for her.

[upahill]

I believe the OP asked for recommendations for hair removal not for a rant on the sexulisation of pubescent females.

In response Betty as I have said before I suggest a cream such as Veet but remember to patch test first. Other ideas such as sugaring and the mitt are good. Waxing does seem a bit brutal tbh but it something that can be explored at a later date.

[weisum]

I say do the wax and then look at laser for later if she wants to.

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

LeSinge, I absolutely agree. Hate this concept that hair = dirt and must be eradicated at all costs or we won't be attractive worthy people. It's such bollocks.

I just hope that in a couple of hundred years people will be able to look back on the last century and laugh at how silly we all were, going through unnecessary pain ripping hairs out by the roots, wasting time and money in order to convince everyone we are less hairy than we are. Mad.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Whatever the rights and wrongs are of this thread, I am amused by Rubyrubyrbub's insistence of epilate. If the OP's dd wants one, I've got a phillips jobby that dh got me for my birthday last year. Used for about 20 seconds.

[moonmother]

It's my DD's birthday today, she is 10. I have bought her a ladyshave(cheap one) as part of her birthday present.

Now before anyone jumps on me, shouting shes 10! She's too young, my DD has been going through puberty since 8. She has to wear deo, she has spots and blackheads, that I help her with, she's been wearing Bra's for the past year (not fake kiddie bras) and she has body hair.

There are only 2 girls in her year, her and a friend this advanced. They're friends are starting to notice that they are maturing more than them. A couple of girls have made comments about the hair under her arms, not nasty comments, but comments all the same.

My DD is ok with her body maturing before her friends, but I don't want her teased about it.I don't want her to feel uncomfortable about it, and she is quite a sensitive soul, bless her.

In fact with regards to the stages of puberty, she's only got her periods to come now. We've had a chat about it, she's prepared in a practical way, and although she says she ok with it all I want the transition form child to young woman to go as easily and smoothly as possible for her.

At the moment the ladyshave will only be removing the underarm, hair, but if she asks if she can start doing her legs then I will agree and show her how to. Same with her eyebrows, she is very dark haired.

Growing up and going through puberty is difficult enough with all the hormones raging through your body. Bullying is very commonplace now , and even more sadly girls can be very cruel at times, without even realising. I just want everything to be easy for her , and her not feel like she sticks out like a sore thumb.