LeSinger -- deodorant crystals may work fine for you, but they are not for all. I have always needed to use a much stronger product.
DS started shaving a good while before he needed to, as far as I could see, in hopes of training his facial hair perhaps, to grow in? He shaves every morning, weekends included, now that he actually needs to, has never tried the whiskery look, and nor have any of his pals. They attend a school where they could grow a full beard if they wanted to and still prefer the shaven look.
As a fairly young teen, with a mother who never had any leg hair for some reason, I shaved my legs and pits without ever asking her permission, and also tackled my eyebrows with a tweezers. Mum never noticed any of the shaving, afaik. I know I probably did a really good job on my eyebrows cos one day she remarked, when I was about 17, that I should never touch my eyebrows as they were so beautiful. LOLOL, mum, I had been doing them from age 12 -- she was completely shocked to realise I paid any attention to my appearance. I think she was off with the fairies in some regards....
My own DDs have gone ahead and shaved their legs and god knows what else. I taught them how to do it properly and how not to cut themselves. I think that accepting their experiences and preferences about their own personal appearance, and teaching them how to do things properly has given them the message that I think it's fine with me that they are growing up and developing their own taste as far as their personal appearance and grooming goes. Also that I'm proud of their technical competence in accomplishing complicated hairstyles, neatness with nail polish and nail trimming, etc. All of that goes along with learning about finances, banking, credit cards, savings, doing their own laundry, saving their babysitting money for clothes purchases -- it's all a part of teaching personal responsibility and letting them become independent with my blessing.
I also allow them to use makeup, and they have their own preferences there. It has been a very nice experience for me and hopefully for them to steer them in the right direction wrt foundation shades, eyeshadow colours, mascara techniques; I think this sort of bonding experience has been a positive for my DDs.
I have found the book 'Teenage Beauty' by Bobbi Brown a fabulous bible of sorts for my DDs as they experiment with their looks and become competent with makeup and other aspects of grooming. They have avoided major disasters, and seem happy about the way they look going out to school in the morning or off for an evening with friends. Which is quite an accomplishment for a teenage girl. A bit of confidence goes a long way, and so what if something skin deep adds to that feeling? Better to add to a young girl's confidence level about her appearance (which is important to teenage girls whether it's fair or right or not) than to make her miserable and self-conscious about it, imo.
Having had a mother who was quite a hippy in her own way, I found the experience of trying to find my way through the teenage years and deal with the question of personal appearance to be a lonely one, as far as my relationship with my mum went, it was a negative; I don't think it's a positive thing to have no conversations at all on the topic of personal grooming, nor do I feel that making a teenage girl battle it out with a mother for permission to be like her peers is a good thing. Some of my approach has been a conscious effort to do things differently from the way my mother did it. I have found that being open and approachable and positive about makeup, shaving, etc., has led to openness and approachability between us on questions such as sex, boyfriends, contraception, relationships, and many other things that are very important to be able to communicate about.
Teenage girls are not children any more. Maybe the fact that concern for appearance in the form of asking to shave, is a sign that our DDs are starting to grow up, and maybe there are some who are not 100% comfortable with or ready for that to happen?