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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

My lovely 13 yr old dd is taking me for a mug

122 replies

BitOfFun · 10/02/2010 20:40

EEK, have got a problem- need your advice ladies please...

13 year old dd went out to see Avatar tonight, with "Becky".

Except dss(14) has seen her at the train station and grassed her up. It was Harry, who she claimed dumped her a couple of weeks ago.

I wouldn't have minded her going on a date.

I bloody do mind her lying to me though . I mean, what is the point?!! I am a nice chilled mum.

She is going skiing with the school on Friday, so I can't ground her immediately. But I'm fucking annoyed and disappointed. I used to lie to my mum about boys, but she was well strict. What do I do?

OP posts:
BelleDameSansMerci · 10/02/2010 22:41

AF, I'm either channeling you or vice versa! That's exactly what I thought.

mumonthenet · 10/02/2010 22:42

my nerves are jangled too,

and am almost (but not quite) feeling sorry for bof's dd.

AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 22:42

sign of a mis-spent yoof ?

mamazon · 10/02/2010 22:43

oooh she sounds a lot like me when i was young. I had super strict parents so would never tell them anything.

i know that there were many a time when i got myself into some sticky situations where i would have loved a really cool mum to ring and say "come get me i want to cry" but i had to face it out alone as they would have been far less than supportive.

i am dreading DD getting her first boyfriend.

I pray that i can be the cool mum i advise others to be. i am under no illusion about it being easier to say than do.

just glad she's ok .....till you get to her anyway BoF

BelleDameSansMerci · 10/02/2010 22:44

Me too... I was thinking how I used to dread going home when I knew I'd been caught or thought I might have been. No mobiles in those days though.

ruddynorah · 10/02/2010 22:48

i used to 'stay at caroline's house' when i was a teen. in fact, me and my friend were meeting boys, taking the train to the nearest city, going round the pubs, then taking the train back and staying in the spare room at one of these boys' house who's dad didn't mind us staying i was 14/15.

VinegarTits · 10/02/2010 22:48

i used to climb out of my bedroom window when everyone was asleep and not come back until morning when i was 14

AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 22:50

< fits locks to dd's bedroom window >

< hobbles her >

mumonthenet · 10/02/2010 22:50

af

ruddynorah · 10/02/2010 22:51

when i was 17 i had a much much older boyfriend who i knew my parents wouldn't like. i used to stay at his flat, saying i was staying at a friend's house. all came unstuck when that friend dropped me in it by 'forgetting' i was meant to be with her when she rang my house asking for me!! oh the horror

ruddynorah · 10/02/2010 22:52

these tales are probably not helping

Defluffmyfanjo · 10/02/2010 22:52

I remember getting home and my parents asking me if I'd had a nice night at Sarah's. I said yes. Unfortunately they'd actually phoned Sarah's that morning and her mum had explained I wasn't there. Sarah then cheerfully told them I'd actually stayed the night at Richard's, my boyfriend's. Ooops. They didn't speak to me for two weeks.

I was 32 though

Defluffmyfanjo · 10/02/2010 22:53

Good point Ruddy. Sorry bof

BelleDameSansMerci · 10/02/2010 22:53

My friend Tracy and I used to go to Northern Soul All-nighters at the 100 Club on Oxford Street, London. We'd catch the last train from Ipswich, dance all night and then get an early train back. We were about 16/17 by then, I think. My mum still doesn't know I did this and I'm still too scared to tell her! She, of course, thought I was fast asleep at Tracy's house...

VinegarTits · 10/02/2010 22:55

i once got pissed with my mate in the village pub, meet to guys, one carried mate home drunk, i put her to bed, parents were in bed too, then climbed out of the toliet window to go back and snog pissed bloke

i was 37 (this was last year at my parents cottage)

mumonthenet · 10/02/2010 22:57

ok girls, enough of the reminiscing (gad those were the days weren't they?).....

should bof be back by now?

ruddynorah · 10/02/2010 22:57

yes i have done far worse in recent years

JeremyVile · 10/02/2010 22:58

Mmazon - I had that "cool" mum you wish you had.... it was shit

She thought nothing of regaling us with tales of her teenage misadventures and I can see now that she was trying to help us and to be open and let us know we could talk to her but to a 13/14/15yo it just sounded so cringey.

I still thought she had no clue about anything. I just dont think the cool mum thing ever actually works - teens are programmed to think their parents are clueless sad acts. Poor mum.

VinegarTits · 10/02/2010 22:59

nah she'll be back later after she has given her a ruddy good rollocking i think

she cant be seen to be MNing on her iphone while she is supposed to having words with her dd

Original poster
BitOfFun · 10/02/2010 22:59

I know- not helping

Right- I intercepted the little scrotes, drove him home, and was cheery but "You must think my head buttons up the bloody back" etc etc

She is a bit shamefaced, and gone straight up to bed. Very apologetic etc, but no logical explanation.

Can relax now- bloody bloody kids!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 23:01

thank christ for that, I can go to bed now

BelleDameSansMerci · 10/02/2010 23:03

BOF - I bet she was mortified!

She might just be really embarrassed about making up with someone who's given her the run around?

Original poster
BitOfFun · 10/02/2010 23:08

They both looked a bit scunnered. It was quite satisfying to see their faces .

He was rather handsome in a I-would-have-liked-him-at-that-age way too. God help us.

I did say while bollocking her after dropping him off that it doesn't exactly endear him to me that he was happy for her to sneak about to see him.

OP posts:
VinegarTits · 10/02/2010 23:08

so what was he like?

VinegarTits · 10/02/2010 23:08

ahh you read my mind