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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

My lovely 13 yr old dd is taking me for a mug

122 replies

BitOfFun · 10/02/2010 20:40

EEK, have got a problem- need your advice ladies please...

13 year old dd went out to see Avatar tonight, with "Becky".

Except dss(14) has seen her at the train station and grassed her up. It was Harry, who she claimed dumped her a couple of weeks ago.

I wouldn't have minded her going on a date.

I bloody do mind her lying to me though . I mean, what is the point?!! I am a nice chilled mum.

She is going skiing with the school on Friday, so I can't ground her immediately. But I'm fucking annoyed and disappointed. I used to lie to my mum about boys, but she was well strict. What do I do?

OP posts:

Report

BitOfFun · 10/02/2010 22:07

I have just got my poor old mum to drive her car over for me to borrow to go and bloody pick her up. Now I'm really fucking riled, because apparently i should have spoken to Rebecca's mother "like a responsible parent" beforehand.

I am so tempted to tear her a new arsehole now. Mount frigging Versuvius is brewing. I don't very often get this angry, but I'm starting to feel the red mist...

OP posts:

mumonthenet · 10/02/2010 22:12

ok, cool it a bit bof.

but not too much.

hellsbelles · 10/02/2010 22:12

mumonthenet · 10/02/2010 22:13

btw, as you said in your title....

she's lovely but she's taking you for a mug.

so therefore, let her know

that she's lovely, but you are not a mug.

iggi999 · 10/02/2010 22:15

I would suggest a middle path between "cool mum" and "red mist"! I've never parented (sorry for the word) a teenager, but teach loads of them. A blind eye works for things you really don't mind them doing, but if she thinks this isn't a big deal, what might she try next?
It's not the end of the world, but you are entitled to be annoyed and upset, and I think your DD deserves to know the effect her action has had.

BitOfFun · 10/02/2010 22:19

Right, this place is awkward to park near. I think I will drive to the station though.

Aaaaargh.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 22:19

actually, I am just hoping this girl is ok

BelleDameSansMerci · 10/02/2010 22:23

Me too, AF...

I'm remembering being 13/14 and all the angst associated with boys, etc.

RumourOfAHurricane · 10/02/2010 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Defluffmyfanjo · 10/02/2010 22:25

BoF - sorry to ask a stupid question but she wasn't going to walk back from the station to yours at that time of night anyway was she? (fluff is such a scaredy cat she wouldn't walk back ten mins on own from station in dark at age of 34 let alone 13)

AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 22:28

I meant ok as in safe, tbh

BitOfFun · 10/02/2010 22:30

I am not hauling her out of the cinema- tempting though that is.

I will wait at our local station- she will be in on either the 23:09 or the 23:24 train. I will be able to see this boy then, presumably, or at least that "Becky" isn't with her if he gets off at an earlier stop. I guess I will drop him off home if he's with her, watch her pale and then bawl her out in the car. Or just wait for her to explain herself.

She is not going anywhere For A Very Long Time. Except Switzerland on Friday

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 10/02/2010 22:31

Defluff- me or DP were going to walk and meet her. Hang on- there's a text...

OP posts:

BelleDameSansMerci · 10/02/2010 22:32

Yes, AF, I knew that and then I sort of wandered off at a tangent.

Was going to say all sorts of things about being a teenager and feeling a bit embarrassed about relationships/feelings etc and lying as a result.

mumonthenet · 10/02/2010 22:36

poor bof.

I suppose you've left for the station now?

I'll be staying up to check all is under control. Hope you report back!

ruddynorah · 10/02/2010 22:36

you were going to walk to meet her off the train? so what difference does it make if you drive to meet her? she won't get off the train with th eboy will she if she knows you're meeting her.

VinegarTits · 10/02/2010 22:37

what does text say?

BitOfFun · 10/02/2010 22:37

She claims to be on the train now- so if it started at seven and is two hours forty mnutes, she has missed the end. Or.....

I am on iPhone at the station- train due in four minutes. Shit will be hitting fan shortly.

OP posts:

BelleDameSansMerci · 10/02/2010 22:38

Yes, is she ok?

RumourOfAHurricane · 10/02/2010 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Defluffmyfanjo · 10/02/2010 22:38

My parents used to pick me up from 'Rachel's' house. Obviously I was actually at the pub. So that they wouldn't know I walked through the town centre and on for another 10 mins on my own, at 10pm at night, at 14, in order to meet my dad outside Rachel's house.

I am not looking forward to my dds being teenagers...

BoF - am sending you happy and calming thoughts.

mumonthenet · 10/02/2010 22:38

oh ... just realised it's 10.30 not 11.30

what's the text say?

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AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 22:39

dss will have txt her to warn her

BelleDameSansMerci · 10/02/2010 22:40

If the film started at 7, it would have finished at 9:40? Although, with trailers etc it would have finished later but that's still ok for getting back now, isn't it?

AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 22:40

sorry for txt speak...my nerves are jangled

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