I am feeling really disappointed with DD, she is literally just 15 and has come home drunk!

[mynaughtylittlesister]

She asked if she could go to this party, I was apprehensive, but so far she has been a pretty good kid. She is my eldest of 3DDs. It was at the local rowing club, they all go there on a Friday/Saturday evening every week. So far no problems, until tonight. We have only let her go to this place for the last few weeks because she has a young man in her life and that is where he hung out!

I could tell as soon as she came in. She wasn't speaking right, so I asked her out right, first she said no, then she said ok I had one, I told her I didn't believe her and then she admitted to having 3 WKD. I feel she has had a lot more, honestly she can't walk in a straight line. I have sent her to bed with a large glass of water, told her we will talk in the morning.

She tried to fob me off by telling me she knows she has been stupid etc.... I told her it won't wash.

Any wise words to offer would be gratefully received, obviously don't want to be heavy handed but on the other hand I am bloody fuming.

Thanks

Did you not do this at her age?

wait to see how much of a hangover she has in the morning, might be enough to make her think twice. How did she get drink? Is boy older?

Why are you fuming?

I was nearer 16! I had left School(I was a july birthday) and had a holiday job! She still has a whole Yr at Sch. Plus my parents couldn't give a damn! Maybe thats why it hurts so much!

To be expected, I think.

I am fuming because I trusted her at party that has a bar (so under age drinking - against the law!!) She is trying to prove to me that she is mature enough to have a 17yr old boyfriend.

Plus I know how airheaded DD is and I worry big time for her.

Its completely normal- but I don't see the harm in a "I feel a bit let down" talk tomorrow, with a discussion about the possible consequences of getting rat-arsed. Try not to be irate, be approachable but clear that this is not what you expect from her etc. Keep it in perspective in your own mind though and don't stress (even if you choose to be heavy in your dealings with her)- we all bloody did it!

Fingers crossed for you x

Quattro, I honestly did not expect it. I guess I have seen her come home the last couple of weekends and she has not seemed the slightest bit intoxicated. She is in YR10 at Sch, her Birthday was just a week ago. She is just 15!

It's normal. Not nice i know and i worry about my ds1 but it's better to talk about the dangers of getting drunk when out with folk she can't trust and the safest way of having a little to drink.

You can't stop a teen expermenting but you can deal with it better than your parents did.

Oh dear. Did you honestly not expect this? It's no biggie in the grand scheme of things is it? My dd is downstairs watching pear harbor , with the dregs of my wine bottle......it happens, they are kids.....she's home at a reasonable time isn't she?

Yikes, DD is on her way home atm from a meal out with friends and a festival which finished late. I've bought them nibbles, sweets and 2 wkd's each. She is celebrating her 15th.

Depends if you have a no alcohol rule. I don't for special occassions and in a controlled environment, i.e me watching over them at this age. Same with other girls houses.

I agree a bit of a chat tommorrow wouldn't be out of order.

I don't think it's ok either but it does happen. Grounding doesn't work IMO. It certainly didn't with me. Wish i could have talked to my parents the way ds1 can talk to me.

BOF, that is what I am worried about, over stressing. At the same time I keep muttering to myself - she is only just 15! She does know that I panic and stress over things, and she also knows that if I do over react and I know that I have, I do hold my hands up and say ok, I have over reacted. I have explained that she is my eldest, I am learning. It doesn't help with the way I was brought up with my parents not caring who and when I went out.

Unfortunately this probably has a bearing on how I feel for my 3DDs.

Ooooh let's punish the poor girl,......what effective punishment then? ( settles down to watch op dd rebel)

sorry I dont think its right either and would be upset if either of my girls came home drunk at 15years old. I would have a strng word tomorrow, with a hard punishment, of either grounding, no mobile or money. Im surprised how many parents think its acceptable. She was out, blind drunk and anything could of happened to her.
I understand teens experiment, doesnt make it right though.

It's not OK to be drunk at 15 but regrettably in our culture it is absolutely normal.

However tough, I think you need to separate your issues about how your parents handled you drinking, to how you will deal with this.

LOL chastity belt? She only drank wkd, she didn't bed the entire rowing club!! Did she??

I was thinking about telling her that she would have to be in by 6:30pm every night for a month. I know this will hurt especially this week as its half term. Also it would mean that she would not be allowed to go to the rowing club.

Is that too harsh?

I would be worried about how she got home - and I'd tell her than when she goes out again I will pick her up so she doesn't walk home/drive home with an idiot

I would say 6.30pm is a bit harsh, maybe 8. And no rowing club at all this week. But shes your dd, will she stick to punishemtns?