What age would you allow a teenager a London weekend with friends?

[Pepperama]

At what age would you let your DS travel to London with some good mates to spend a long weekend? They’d be staying with a family member just outside London, and then spend the days exploring. We’re in the north so it’s not around the corner if something isn’t going to plan, and he’s not been to London or done any travelling with friends yet.

I have allowed my daughter to travel into London with friends to visit places like Covent Garden, Science Museum etc since Year 7. But we live in Zone 4 so they have been using London buses and the tube (with adults) since they were very young and don’t find it daunting.

I don’t worry particularly about their safety as they are in busy, touristy areas during daylight, but they are given stern warnings to be very careful when using their phones as phone snatching is a risk if they are waving them about.

I grew up somewhere very rural so would not have been as confident navigating London at the same age!

Does he have a mobile you can track?

Yes, we have shared location and he knows that he’d need to keep this active if he’s away.

It’s just that we’re some 4 hours away so in an emergency we’d not be close by. If it was a nearby city I’d probably think ‘can always go and retrieve him’ if they fall out, he gets lost, or phone/money gets lost, or he gets unwell. (Yes I’m a self confessed worrier!) So far away, he’d just have to fend for himself.

16

I'd say 16 given it is staying with someone.

I would doubt the 'every one else is allowed to go' unless evidence otherwise, incidentally.

From what you describe your DS, I'd say no on this occasion.

But no tube! My kids have never been on a subway of any sort. And I’ve not been to London in about 20 years so no idea either. Was just saying it depends a lot on what the children are used to.

When shes 21 !!

Gosh you need to take them through to Glasgow for some subway experience! 😉

I wasn’t counting that one lol

The friends seem a sensible bunch as far as teenage boys go. I don’t know the parents, or London family member at all. One of the friends is in London a lot and knows their way around.

As long as they stick together, or at least go in pairs, he should be ok, shouldn't he? Presumably they'll be sticking to the central area, which is quite small, and they'll have phones.

Make sure he knows the address of the people he'll be staying with, and nearest Tube/rail station. Have it written down. If he gets lost or separated from his friends, he can go into any Tube station and ask staff how to get back there.

How used is he to using public transport where you live?

Who are they staying with? Do you know them? What are they doing while "in London". I'd have a lot of questions. Staying with a random relative of someone isn't really that safe. Coming to do something specific would be a bit more reassuring than a vague plan. I live in London, I have a 13 year old. She won't be let loose in central London for a few years yet.

To answer some questions: it’s one of the friend’s uncle and aunt, the friend has stayed with them regularly.

According to my son, they just want to explore the city centre, look around shops, go for food. (I believe that, as that’s what they did on a school trip abroad earlier this year).

He’s used to big cities and public transport, he can navigate that in another European capital that we visit a lot, so that bit doesn’t worry me. It’s more the emotional, friendship, what if something goes wrong bit.

Still not sure. Don’t want him to miss out and he’s likely to be just fine - they’d stick together, as I say I think they’re sensible lads. I used to travel a lot without my family as a teen and loved it, but usually with organised groups at that age.

hm, might chat to the other parents…

Oh my. My son has just started Alevels and I wouldn’t let him. Not until he is in university

It’s more the emotional, friendship, what if something goes wrong bit.

Something can always go wrong, whatever you're doing. But you'd never do anything if you kept thinking about all the 'what ifs'.

Do you know what I would do. I would go myself, stay in a hotel nearby and be there just in case. I think 14 is too young if they are a bit immature and haven’t done anything like it before. Expecting a pile on now telling me that’s ridiculous but I would rather be in the background, not interfering but there if needed. I would probably do a bit of sightseeing myself and see it as a nice weekend away. That’s if money and time allows of course.

Oh my. My son has just started Alevels and I wouldn’t let him. Not until he is in university

Presumably he'll be 18 before he's in university? How do you 'not let' an 18yo do something? Or even a 17 yo?

No wonder there are so many 18yos who aren't prepared for university life. They've been so infantilised and not allowed to grow up.

I would go myself, stay in a hotel nearby and be there just in case.

In case of what?

In case he
Felt unwell
Fell out with his mates
Felt uncomfortable with what his mates were doing
Had a wobble with his confidence
Had enough after the first day
Or more extreme and less likely examples e.g. had an accident, got mugged, got drunk
etc etc
I am not saying any of these are likely but I would want to be there as a safety net. Just in case.
Next time he wants to go, he will have some experience and maturity behind him. Then I would happily wave him off.

I wish I could - it’d be my ideal solution to this actually - schools are off but unfortunately I am working and can’t take time off.

Ah that’s a shame, I did think it might be too difficult. Do you trust him to always message you if he’s got a problem? Would you be able to drop everything and go if necessary?

I was the most easy going parent ever, my kids grew up in London so were travelling around alone at 11/12 on tubes and buses.
However l don't think l would have let them go to another city to stay with random strangers, not even the friends parents.
Whatever teenage boys say thier plans are in my experience there will be something you won't approve off. I would wait a few years.

My 13 year old (6ft tall!) son started venturing into central London this summer with his friends. We live in London so he knows the underground and city very well. BUT… I wouldn’t send him up to Manchester / York / Liverpool etc and let him wander about.

Mine did day trips into central London with school friends from age 11, as she was travelling into zone 1 daily for school on her own from Yr 7, and we used to live nearby so she was very familiar with it.

If she wasn't from the area and only used to small towns, probably more like 14.

its a no for me. We are further away in NE Scotland but even if i think of either of mine going to Glasgow or Edinburgh I’d not be happy about that at 14. My 2 know Edinburgh quite well as we travel there A couple of
times a year. They have been to London and the older one was starting to understand the tube by the second day but I’m not sure he would know what to do in an emergency like if (god forbid) there was a terror attack. I mean here he uses the transport daily but he still messages me if the bus goes off route 😂

If a responsible family member who will enforce curfews etc then 13