How do you deal with hate my life comments?

[Chamomileandlavander]

it always happens around period time. I hate my life. I just want to die, don’t want to wake up tomorrow, go to school.

It always happens around period time. I tell her is hormones, she said is not and that I am not listening; her appetite changes too, cravings but not wanting much normal food. She has a therapist.

Rest of the time she is mostly fine, just normal teenager moods.

Is there a magic pill? Is this a phase? When do they get out of it? How do I handle it?

During holidays is not too bad as she is more rested; but the pressure of school and GCSE doesn’t help.

Evening primrose oil, but check with the gp first.

I did ask him; he wasn’t sure but I think I am going to try. Not dure what else to try. I already giver other vitamins.

I read some people have bad effects to evening primrose oil do have been catious.

Das is

@Chamomileandlavander start with just 1 or 2 capsules abd take it from there. I have 6 a day now, but everyone is different.

I tell her is hormones, she said is not and that I am not listening; her appetite changes too, cravings but not wanting much normal food. She has a therapist.

When it is happening, when she feels that, it is real. At that time just empathise and look after her.

When it's not happening, then you can broach the subject of possible support e.g. appropriate supplements (with GP oversight).

There's no point having a practical conversation during an emotional crisis, she can't hear you and will just feel unsupported.

Also, her therapist could help her think it through.

Thank you. This helps me understand things better.

I spend more time with her, try to support her when she is feeling like that. It must be hard for her going through such a strong emotions. I hope she feels she is loved and supported. I hope the supplements and therapist help.

What is her lifestyle like the rest of the time. Is she active daily, eat vegetables and non processed foods, eating oily fish regularly or omega 3/6 supplements, studying or learning a subject she’s interested in, have a plan and structure for future, friends, how much social media all of these things will also have an effect alongside physiological changes.

I'd say 'It's normal to feel like this at times as a teenager but work hard at school and do as well as you can in your GCSEs so that you have more choices about what you do as an adult'. And yes, healthy diet, regular exercise and plenty of sleep.

No child eats oily fish, surely?

I think I'd brush over it. You know it's hormonal, you know it will pass. "that's nice dear, you're feeling hormonal, see you on the flip side".

I don't think we do children any favours medicalising a perfectly normal feeling around period time. I still get like this at 40+, I know it will pass.

Whereas I would say the total opposite.

It may well just be hormonal but it feels bloody real when you’re 15 and struggling. I remember my dad brushing it off as just a period - it had quite an impact on our relationship and I was actually later diagnosed with PCOS and a hormonal imbalance. He actually apologised many years later and said he didn’t realise how much I’d been struggling.

The OP has done the nicely take it seriously stuff to no avail though. So time to try a different tack.

Don't tell her it's only hormonal (even if it is). That comes across as really dismissive- like when your partner says the classic "are you on your period?" during an argument. Empathise with her. Love her. Don't take what she is saying too deeply to heart yourself.

@topcat2014 my DD loves salmon.

The rest of the time she is mostly ok, has friends, has a plan, wants to do well in her GCSE, go to the gym sometimes, eats better; however school does drain her energy so things are a bit worse when they are in school and around her period time. I gave her magnesium and omega 3, going to increase fish consumption.

She could excercise and sleep more in my opinion but it is a bit of a battle with teens and screens, which we do try to control.

At her age I used to sleep more; but I didn’t have such a long day at school and no screens distractions.

Hope we find something that helps as it is hard going through this every month for her and me.

She says herself she brushes it off as hormonal.

Thank you. I should have known better. I thought it would help if she knew there was a reason. I know better now.

I don’t want to medicate her. Just think vitamins may help a bit with school pressure, energy, etc.

Medication may well be essential for her to have a normal cycle and life. Lots of women struggle with their periods and can’t function properly without medical intervention.

Why not? I had an awful time as a teen with periods. Mum took me to Gp and I resisted meds and said they were unnatural. I remember to this day what the Gp said - women today have far more periods than is “natural” as before birth control and bottles they were pregnant or breastfeeding much more-

periods and hormones are a nightmare for some women and deeply effect their progress in life and it contributes to inequality as men just don’t have anything equivalent .

I have the mirena coil and no periods - life is a million times better now that I don’t feel like killing myself or others for 3 days a month.

Don't be dismissive and say it's just hormones. Even though it is, it's still real feelings that she has and feels totally real in the moment. You don't want to build a pattern when she feels like you don't take her seriously as this could stop her coming to you with problems in the future.

Offer her emotional support, and provide distractions. E.g. "I know you feel like xyz, shall we do [activity] to take your mind off it".

Let her know there are medical options if she wants to try them.

We have been to the drs a few times over the last year; she said she didn’t want the contraceptive pill because lots if artificial stuff on them. I know they can work but they can also make things worse.

We have the bassetts multivatimins with evening primrose oil. Will see how it goes with that plus the magnesium and omega 3; and and keep accessing.

May go back to the dr and suggest the contraceptive pill again if things don’t improve as another poster described above she just feels like killing herself around 3 days per month.

I do also sympathise, offer support and unconditional love; I will stop mentioning the hormonal stuff now.

What other medical options? I just know that there are no drugs without risks and side effects. Would like to try the natural treatment first, vitamins, nutrition, sleep, excercise which isn’t always easy.

Rather than medication what about CBT to help her cope with down days. Would allow her to retain the more positive days in her cycle.

Thank you. We are trying a new therapist as now sure current one is helping.

I hope we find something that helps. It is hard seeing her struggling. I am trying not to take it personally but my heart breaks for her when she is so low.I am trying to think of the rest of the time when she feels more like herself and she is lovely and calm.