15 yr old son has broken full length huge mirror

[sweetpea6002]

Hello
my eldest son kicked our full length huge mirror and it’s now broken. Heavy wooden frame, sits on living room floor and leans against the wall.

I’m so upset.

backstory…a screen time argument… my kid had been on the PS5 the whole morning, some of it with his brother. I asked him to switch it off and go for a walk or go outside for a while after lunch. He hurt his ankle a week ago and is supposed to be limiting walking to 20 mins. I suggested going around the block. I got told I am so controlling, other kids don’t have screen time limits, his life is so terrible because of this etc etc.
think I’m especially upset because yesterday my wing mirror got stolen whilst I was in the car, and I’ve had a parking ticket too. So a lot of costs when I’m finding it v hard financially atm.

I do think he should contribute towards the mirror getting fixed.

feeling v low.

any advice on how to move on? Thanks so much.

The whole thing just seems like what you would say to a 5 year old- "go outside and play".

The OP needs to realise she is parenting a 15 year old.

I'm concerned that you dont understand that a 15 year old is a child who needs parenting. Do you not know that you're a child at 15? You don't seem to comprehend the difference between a toddler, a 15 year old, or your DH, as you keep comparing all three.

@Bess91

A 15 year old is nearly an adult though and needs to be treated like one in order to develop the independence they need to.

It's not appropriate to be ordering a 15 year old outside. It is infantilising.

She didn’t tell hm, she asked him. Huge difference. OP says “ I asked him to switch it off and go for a walk or go outside for a while after lunch”

and anyone who knows gamers understand that its hugely addictive and hard to regulate even for a grown adult. My DH is a gamer and even he struggles. My adult DC all recognise its addictive nature. Kids need guidance and sometimes that’s prescriptive like ‘ go outside and live outside of the online world’. And 15 is a kid. A biggish one, but still a kid nonetheless.

I still maintain that it was an entirely reasonable suggestion and that his reaction is totally unacceptable.

@itsmeafterall

She instructed him to go outside, which is totally unacceptable and unnecessary at 15.

I wouldn't have put up with being controlled to that degree at that age at all.

Yes we get it @JonesTown, you have said the same thing over and over and over.

Are you OP's 15yo son on a burner account by any chance? Buy your bloody mum a new mirror! (and hope your ankle is better soon x)

She didn’t tie him up and drag him outside. She asked him to please get some sunlight and use his ankle at a time of his choosing after lunch. That isn’t controlling it’s a gentle suggestion by a parent.

Fuck me some of you wouldn’t have survived my childhood.

Mirror seems to be a red herring to me. Most people don't have full length mirrors standing where he was. Most kids doing a bit of kicking out in frustration would have simply kicked the wall.

A friend's daughter punched a door but it had a glass panel and she ended up having plastic surgery!

Imo OP is lucky nothing really bad happened to her son here. Don't replace the mirror - it's not safe. So if it doesn't need replacing, there is no need to sell anything.

This lad needs more help than punishment by the sound of it. Kicking out like that is not ok but equally he needs more parental input.

With respect, you are overly pessimistic, the men who cannot control emotions are less than 1% and they are usually the ones not taught how to vent them safely but just told “stop” or “don’t”. Bottling up feelings is what leads to bigger and more violent explosions.