15 yr old son has broken full length huge mirror

[sweetpea6002]

Hello
my eldest son kicked our full length huge mirror and it’s now broken. Heavy wooden frame, sits on living room floor and leans against the wall.

I’m so upset.

backstory…a screen time argument… my kid had been on the PS5 the whole morning, some of it with his brother. I asked him to switch it off and go for a walk or go outside for a while after lunch. He hurt his ankle a week ago and is supposed to be limiting walking to 20 mins. I suggested going around the block. I got told I am so controlling, other kids don’t have screen time limits, his life is so terrible because of this etc etc.
think I’m especially upset because yesterday my wing mirror got stolen whilst I was in the car, and I’ve had a parking ticket too. So a lot of costs when I’m finding it v hard financially atm.

I do think he should contribute towards the mirror getting fixed.

feeling v low.

any advice on how to move on? Thanks so much.

Selling the PS5 would punish other siblings so that's not fair. He should pay for the mirror however. He's old enough to control his actions or pay for the consequences. Hopefully that will be a life lesson learned.

If the mirror was very expensive I would claim for it on accidental cover , then sell the ps5.

If left to their own devices, a teenager could play video games all day. They need parenting. Don't be daft.

I absolutely wouldn’t have tolerated that with my 15 year old son, however I don’t control his screen time. Other than phones in my bedroom at night etc. As long as he is revising for his GCSEs which he is doing so, then no I wouldn’t have interfered today and asked him to go for a walk. I don’t really know anyone who asks their 15 year old son to go for a walk

Sorry but I need to know how your wing mirror was stolen whilst you were in the car please.

This is how it goes with gaming unfortunately. It's going to be frustrating for him in the meantime because he's not found anything meaningful to occupy his time without gaming.

Yanbu, you should make him pay for it and I'd personally restrict his screen time further, I'd get rid of the ps5.

@Bess91

No, because a teen should have a balanced life that includes studying, exercise, socialising and screens.

That is far more effective than an arbitrary screen time limit.

There’s this.

DS gets the job of ringing round to get the prices. Then he either pays, contributes by offsetting tasks or loses the PS.

He will realise what 7 years of bad luck feels like in just a few hours

This is what I would be doing, in a very calm and thoughtful way.

This, and grounded for his attitude

Sorry but this is so stupid as a comparison.
You accidentally broke two items. OPs son purposefully kicked and smashed her mirror.

Coercive and controlling 😂😂

OP's post says he "...had been on the PS5 the whole morning, some of it with his brother. I asked him to switch it off and go for a walk or go outside for a while after lunch."

Do you apply literally the same standards to your husband as you do to your child?

Maybe OP should just let him sit in the dark in his room all day online, not exercising his ankle during the healing period. And of course if he smashes up her house then it's on her eh 🙄

You're not making sense.

Yip grow up into the wall/door punching dopes to control a partner.

I’d be more concerned about his inability to control his temper.

@JonesTown

I agree. My sons the same age and plays sport, goes out with his GF and friends, revises and still has plenty of screen time. I have no reason to tell him to go for a walk. I presume the OPs son literally cannot regulate himself if she thinks it’s necessary to tell him to go for a walk. Sometimes my son plays his PlayStation all day, and that’s okay. His life is balanced.

I am not excusing the behaviour but sometimes alarm bells ring on certain posts.

Only correct response!

Sell the ps5.
Buy a new mirror
100%
I would leave the conversation until emotions are calmer though but if my ds did that , if I didnt sell the ps5, the money to replace would be coming from him one way or another.

Maybe but I feel the general theme of what I said opens a positive pathway if that is what wanted.

Why shouldn't she get the mirror money straight away by selling the PS5, and then if he wants to save up for a new one, he can. Why does she have to go without something she liked which he destroyed, while he gets to keep his PS5 and repay her at leisure? What sort of lesson do you think that will teach him about solving his (very minor) problems with violence?

@JonesTown why do you keep comparing your DH and a child? Unless he is also 15, it’s irrelevant.

Because sometimes as parents we don’t need to go over board in punishments.

What you don't want is an escalation. He is 15 and imo the more important this is your relationship. I know several families where the mother is scared of her grown up son and at 15 it is getting towards a point where realistically you can't impose consequences.

Main thing is to teach him how-to regulate his emotions. That's much harder for both of you than throwing a consequence at him.

@beAsensible1

Because she is treating a 15 year old like a toddler. I wouldn't have dreamt of telling DS1 to "go outside for a while" at 15.

At that age, he was planning his own day and doing as he pleased so long as he was working hard at school, getting exercise and socialising.

No wonder young adults are having such issues with independence nowadays if they are being micromanaged to such an extent at age 15.

I agree. Not as a punishment but to teach his real life consequences and to calm his neurology and screen addiction