15 yr old son has broken full length huge mirror

[sweetpea6002]

Hello
my eldest son kicked our full length huge mirror and it’s now broken. Heavy wooden frame, sits on living room floor and leans against the wall.

I’m so upset.

backstory…a screen time argument… my kid had been on the PS5 the whole morning, some of it with his brother. I asked him to switch it off and go for a walk or go outside for a while after lunch. He hurt his ankle a week ago and is supposed to be limiting walking to 20 mins. I suggested going around the block. I got told I am so controlling, other kids don’t have screen time limits, his life is so terrible because of this etc etc.
think I’m especially upset because yesterday my wing mirror got stolen whilst I was in the car, and I’ve had a parking ticket too. So a lot of costs when I’m finding it v hard financially atm.

I do think he should contribute towards the mirror getting fixed.

feeling v low.

any advice on how to move on? Thanks so much.

Remove his PS5 as a consequence and replace the mirror but don’t leave it in a stupid place on your living room floor. Sounds dangerous to me.

Unless he was performing circus training and knocked into it?

Well he should know not to perform circus training in the living room! 😀So should still be paying.

replace the mirror but don’t leave it in a stupid place on your living room floor. Sounds dangerous to me.

If a 15 yo boy kicks a mirror, it will be broken wherever it is.

Maybe, but heavy mirrors propped up against walls are definitely very unsafe.

PS5 sold to pay for it. Therapy for gaming addiction.

He should pay for it in full, it was wilful destruction which has consequences.

He did something silly but also he is only 15 and his brain isn’t developed fully yet!

Yes there should be consequences though, no pocket money until you can afford a new mirror.
I probably wouldn’t have the new mirror on the floor resting against the wall though that sounds quite dangerous.

And also yes other 15 year olds do have screen time limits, mine does.

I agree. A young male turning his frustrated feelings into violence is something I would take very very seriously. He’s 15, not 2, and he didn’t kick his own stuff did he. PS gone, sell it to pay for mirror and additionally to curb the budding gaming addiction.

Clearly he shouldn't be smashing mirrors (although it also shouldn't be free-standing in a living room).

However, it seems to me you are being too micromanagey with him, which will provoke pushback at that age.

I would never tell a 15 year old to go for a walk around the block. That js something you would do with a toddler to get exercise, not someone who is nearly a man. I wouldn't accept my partner demanding I go for a walk at an arbitrary time- it would be coercive and controlling.

Gaming is the way teenage boys often socialise. I don't agree with arbitrary time restrictions so long as the have overall balance. Add that to the fact he has an injured ankle that makes it painful to walk and you can see why he's got pissed off.

Sell the ps5. Clearly he’s gotten addicted and needs weaning.

children who respond with serious aggression or violence to screen time should be urgently cut off. He cannot manage the responsibility. He can get a new one when he gets a job and pays for it himself.

brick phone too if you want be a hard arse.

If the 15 year old can’t act like an adult and get outside for basic health they deserve to be treated like toddlers

if they get so angry as a result - that again is toddler behaviour

they are our children in our homes and we have to teach them and they have to prove themselves

the PS5 would disappear for a while unless they had cleared up, apologied and raided their cash

I agree with other posters that he should pay in full for the new mirror. I would also take away his phone, PS5, and any other device that isn’t strictly necessary for school work, and ground him for a month.

On a slightly different note you can just replace the mirrored glass, just find a local glazier online.

He was on it all morning. He is a child he will not sensibly regulate his use of screen time and if he can’t act sensibly he will be directed.

it is not controlling to parent rather than be wantonly permissive and raise disconnected and socially stunted adults

considering he got aggressive it’s clear he needs intervention immediately.

...Add that to the fact he has an injured ankle that makes it painful to walk

But not too painful to kick a mirror?

I wouldn't sell the PS5. I wouldn't have made him walk around the block with an injured ankle either.

Sprained ankles need exercise if they are to ever get better - limiting to 20 mins usually means doing 20 mins possibly a few times a day - severity and stage of recovery depending

It's also not his fault you got a parking ticket or had your wing mirror stolen.

I'd maybe limit pocket money for a while.

You need to think about what you want the outcome to be. Do you want to spend the next year or whatever in an ugly mess because you sold his PS? Do you want to come to some reasonable settlement with him which will result in him getting a bit of a life lesson here and give him the ability to make it up to you by eg paying towards a new one? You need to let a person have an option if you want to get a positive outcome. Once I broke a glass table of my mother's - I didn't mean to and she went mental. I also broke a glass pot too once. Again she went mental. Both were genuine accidents. Now as regards your son - he probably did not mean to break it? You know him? Is this typical of him? I'm far from soft with people but one thing I have learnt in life is to try for a beneficial outcome.

This

Sell the PS5 he's not mature enough for it

He’s 15 not 15 months. He needs to apologise , pay for the mirror and lose the PS5 for a while.

1. remove PS5, not indefinitely but for a significant (to him) time.

2. he needs to pay for the mirror. If he doesn’t have the money agree payment for jobs around the house and he needs to earn enough through doing those jobs to pay for mirror.

in fact, I’d probably remove the PS until he’s earned enough to pay for the mirror.

He should pay for all of it. And I would not be allowing PS5 time until he is suitably remorseful and/or paid for it. Little shit.

@beAsensible1

Sorry, but a 15 year old is nearly an adult and deserves to be treated like one. He will act like a toddler if he is treated like one.

I wouldn't expect to be directed to go for a walk by DH. It is coercive and controlling.

Kick the PS5.