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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

16 year old son stole a sandwhich from Tesco

146 replies

Mollydoggerson · 22/12/2025 23:30

Received a call from Tesco to say my 16 year old consumed a sandwhich in the shop and was stopped while walking out. He said he had no money to pay for it (true, but he has plenty of cash in general, just not on him). They asked him for my number, and left a message on my phone.

I drove there, paid for it and apologised. He had left by then. They told me he is barred.

I ve offered two options to him, apologise to the staff or go to confession (we are culturally catholic) apologise or atone! 😅

He is not willing to do either. I Don't want this to ruin Christmas, his attitude is f*ck Tesco, they have plenty of money. I ve told him Tesco don't owe him anything!!!

He has apologised to me and told me he would repay me(after coaxing, both were my suggestion) is that enough?
How would you respond?

OP posts:
Flowerslamp · 23/12/2025 13:04

The lack of remorse would be scaring me, both for the stealing and for putting you in an embarrassing situation.

What's he like otherwise?

rwalker · 23/12/2025 13:10

I think I’d be having a swift cull of his presents

his attitude is shit about Tesco there business plan allow for stock loss and they add it to operational cost that in turn gets past on to all of us

as clever as he thinks he is shops are starting. To taking a hardline on this if he ends up with a caution there can be future consequences to that

Xmasdemon · 23/12/2025 13:18

I believe your son is sharing the widespread and growing sentiment that the corps charging us to hell just to live, our god-given right, can just go to hell. Take it as a political statement.

allthingsinmoderation · 23/12/2025 13:24

Mollydoggerson · 22/12/2025 23:33

I think it was a spur of the moment decision, in the knowledge he would not pay.

If he makes another spur of the moment decision to commit a crime he may not get off so lightly and there may be consequences .
I would talk to him about wether he understands there can be serious consequences for theft (particularly if he makes a habit of it)
I would insist he pays you back.
I stole some sweets (woolworths pick and mix) as a teenager. My parents frogmarched me back to the store and insisted i apologise and explain myself .
For me,it was a lack of impulse control,a spur of the moment risk taking thing.
I'm glad my parents pulled me up on it ,it made me think about controlling my impulses that served me well later on.

Bottlesofrumonthewall · 23/12/2025 16:57

Sounds like his sugar levels dropped and he needed something right then them got put on the spot to justify why he didn’t pay
ask for him to be unbarred and always make sure he has money in his pocket

Holluschickie · 23/12/2025 16:59

Bottlesofrumonthewall · 23/12/2025 16:57

Sounds like his sugar levels dropped and he needed something right then them got put on the spot to justify why he didn’t pay
ask for him to be unbarred and always make sure he has money in his pocket

Wow. Just unbelievable.

Bottlesofrumonthewall · 23/12/2025 17:00

Also he should be banned from hanging out with those friends who are a bad influence and clearly influencing him to steal

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 23/12/2025 17:28

I would be taking his phone off him until he picks and delivers on the options already provided. Confessions won't be happening now until after Christmas so if I were him I would get himself off to Tesco tomorrow. Tell him you will be phoning them to check he has done it.

Redburnett · 23/12/2025 17:38

I suggest he repays you and you 'fine' him a nominal sum (as if he had been to court). Deduct it from his pocket money/allowance. Explain to him that actually being convicted of theft in court would likely limit his career choices so he needs to wise up now. If it is a one off I would not make too much drama out of it, certainly not let it ruin Christmas.

Driftingawaynow · 23/12/2025 17:51

Is he more angry and defiant since being robbed from? That’s a horrible violation and must have affected him

JakeyRolling · 23/12/2025 17:53

Find out when the sentencing day is at your local court (if they have a specific day) and make him sit through - see how many folk end up with criminal records for “small” crimes and the length of records that many shoplifters have

Blump2783 · 23/12/2025 18:00

Even though shop lifting is on the rise in general I think teens have been doing it for years. I know plenty of adults who would admit to doing it as teens. I do think there needs to be a consequence when caught though, otherwise it can get worse.
Re Tesco being able to afford, yes they make a shit ton of profit but they won't be taking any hits from shop lifting, they'll just pass the cost onto other shoppers

Xmasdemon · 23/12/2025 18:00

It's just a sandwich. He must have really needed it. I've picked up a bottle of water and walked out the shop when I've had no money and was about to faint from dehydration, I just really did need it that much

Clarehandaust · 23/12/2025 18:01

Xmasdemon · 23/12/2025 18:00

It's just a sandwich. He must have really needed it. I've picked up a bottle of water and walked out the shop when I've had no money and was about to faint from dehydration, I just really did need it that much

I think that’s the truth of the matter. If I had absolutely no money and my children needed food I wouldn’t flipping hesitate.

Moel · 23/12/2025 18:08

Xmasdemon · 23/12/2025 18:00

It's just a sandwich. He must have really needed it. I've picked up a bottle of water and walked out the shop when I've had no money and was about to faint from dehydration, I just really did need it that much

This attitude infuriates me - stealing is stealing. However, having worked in stores I can report that lots of so called ‘respectable’ people do this. They seem to think that consuming it in the store means it doesn’t count. Then there are the parents with kids, who allow to eat around the store claiming that they intend to pay when the item is sold by weight or proffering a slobber ridden wrapper at the till with a look saying, seriously you are going to make me pay? I had parents complaining when I asked for someone to go get me another of the same item so I can scan a code or estimate a weight. Point is,
this can be driven by entitlement. My ‘need’ (want) trumps the stores business and it’s not really stealing.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 23/12/2025 18:10

Xmasdemon · 23/12/2025 18:00

It's just a sandwich. He must have really needed it. I've picked up a bottle of water and walked out the shop when I've had no money and was about to faint from dehydration, I just really did need it that much

We used to have public drinking fountains. We should bring them back.

Chinsupmeloves · 23/12/2025 18:16

Very brazen of him to do it. As said, it's the attitude that would concern me more. Having been caught surely you should be apologetic, not deflecting. Xx

lindyloo57 · 23/12/2025 18:17

I can't believe they barred him, my DD work at the coop and get a regular shop lifter go in every week, and they don't bar him, if they try he just goes back in and take notice.

Xmasdemon · 23/12/2025 18:17

Moel · 23/12/2025 18:08

This attitude infuriates me - stealing is stealing. However, having worked in stores I can report that lots of so called ‘respectable’ people do this. They seem to think that consuming it in the store means it doesn’t count. Then there are the parents with kids, who allow to eat around the store claiming that they intend to pay when the item is sold by weight or proffering a slobber ridden wrapper at the till with a look saying, seriously you are going to make me pay? I had parents complaining when I asked for someone to go get me another of the same item so I can scan a code or estimate a weight. Point is,
this can be driven by entitlement. My ‘need’ (want) trumps the stores business and it’s not really stealing.

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Stealing's not just stealing though is it. There is a massive difference between taking something desperately needed from a person and a massive multi billion dollar corporation that scales and controls how much we are able to eat and drink.

MMUmum · 23/12/2025 18:32

Holluschickie · 23/12/2025 16:59

Wow. Just unbelievable.

Show quote history

Agreed, unless he was in a fugue state and unaware of his actions this is a very unlikely scenario and still not justified because he knew what he was doing

Wildefish · 23/12/2025 18:36

Mollydoggerson · 22/12/2025 23:33

I think it was a spur of the moment decision, in the knowledge he would not pay.

Then he needs to apologise to Tesco. Thus is the only way he will learn anything. Although he doesn’t seem to bothered and that as a mother would worry me. Talk to him seriously about how hd can ruin his life with bad choices.

Snakebite61 · 23/12/2025 18:37

Mollydoggerson · 22/12/2025 23:30

Received a call from Tesco to say my 16 year old consumed a sandwhich in the shop and was stopped while walking out. He said he had no money to pay for it (true, but he has plenty of cash in general, just not on him). They asked him for my number, and left a message on my phone.

I drove there, paid for it and apologised. He had left by then. They told me he is barred.

I ve offered two options to him, apologise to the staff or go to confession (we are culturally catholic) apologise or atone! 😅

He is not willing to do either. I Don't want this to ruin Christmas, his attitude is f*ck Tesco, they have plenty of money. I ve told him Tesco don't owe him anything!!!

He has apologised to me and told me he would repay me(after coaxing, both were my suggestion) is that enough?
How would you respond?

Should have nicked a meal deal.

Xmasdemon · 23/12/2025 18:38

MMUmum · 23/12/2025 18:32

Agreed, unless he was in a fugue state and unaware of his actions this is a very unlikely scenario and still not justified because he knew what he was doing

Show quote history

I just think he must have really really needed something to eat ? To actually steal a sandwich ? Like that isn't a normal thing to do. I know what severely low blood sugar and electrolytes can be like. I once begged a closing shop to let me buy a piece of fruit cause I was about to crash (had been on a 4 day fast). Guy just ducked under the shutter and gave it to me for free, lol

Xmasdemon · 23/12/2025 18:40

This threads honestly just bringing out my annoyance with the injustice of what it costs to eat these days. That sandwich was probably £3.50.

hcee19 · 23/12/2025 18:45

He went into Tesco, knowing he had no money but thought he would have what he wanted anyway. I would be furious, he is a thief, is the the start of things to come?