Asking child to move out at 18

[HollyIvy89]

Has anyone done it. Why? Where did they go?

I think we’re going to need a bit more to go on…..

Why would you want them to move out?
Unless they attend university, stay in student town because of job in the holidays and get the well paid graduate job straight out of university.

No way I'd chuck out an 18 year old unless there were some very serious issues.

You are going to have to give more information. My parents made it very clear after I moved out to Uni at 18 I wasn't to come back. I have had a polite but distant relationship with them at best since then and that's only because I can't be bothered with the drama of going no contact.

No. Why on earth would I ever do that?

No, they left when they were ready

To seriously consider that an 18 year old is capable of independent living just because they’ve reached adulthood is cruel. I left home 49 years ago and went to college, living in a college hostel with breakfast and dinner provided. I had a full grant plus a part time job and managed very well, progressing to shared flats in the subsequent two years. Life was cheap.
That course meant I hit the ground running as a hotel manager, where accommodation and all meals were provided if wanted. Young and old single staff all lived in in those days. Life got cheaper and work provided a knowledge of the practical skills involved in maintaining life. The Armed Forces are the only compatible employer now.
In my late twenties I moved into my own flat. Life was not longer so affordable but I was experienced enough in life and money handling that I’ve flourished since. My children left when they were ready, never pushed.
I’d ask how many of today’s 18 year olds would cope in a very different world. I was brought up to cook and clean (calm down, my brothers were as well!), and I was protected by the benign world I entered. Others lived with extended family, or became lodgers, or lived in the YMCA or wherever. That’s all gone by.
Add to that the increased ‘wants’ of more or less everyone (tech, entertainment, etc all stuff that has become a ‘need’ and they’re set up for failure.
I’ve related this open up the dialogue. It’s a hard world out there.

Wow.

I left home when I was 16, as did many of my friends.

The 1990s really was a different time.

No I absolutely wouldn't, my 19 year old can live here until he's ready to move out , this is his home .

Did you want to? Being asked to leave is very different to leaving if your own accord. Even in the 90s.

I was that age in the 1990s and didn’t know anyone who moved out at 16!

I went to school and uni and didn’t properly move out until I was 25!

Care leavers are supported until they are 25. Why do you think your child can live independently at 18 without any support? And why do you want them to?

One thing I will say is that one of the first things I did when I left home at 16 was travel. I spent 3 years in Italy, where even in the 1990s it was normal for people (especially men) to live with their parents way into their 30s.

And let me tell you, we do not want that. We do not even want to be moving in that direction. If we think men sometimes act like entitled man children now, having your every need met by a put upon mamma until well into your 4th decade really creates some monsters.

Independence is a gift.

My mum kicked me out at 16 because I was pregnant this was the 10s so not ages ago. Are you the same poster whose 18 year old is out of control? You don’t have to put up with it he’s an adult don’t let people make you feel badx

Yeah, you and I probably wouldn't have a lot in common tbh.

Nope. Unless my child had commit some serious crime I won’t be turfing them out. They’ll always have a place with me as long as I can give them one.

Um....because they're a legal adult?

If you haven't taught your child basic housekeeping and budgeting skills by the age of 18, you've kind of failed.

Care leavers are supported because they will have trauma from their childhood a normal 18 year old will be fine. I moved out at 16 and had my own child loads of people have done the same

I asked mine to leave a few months ago he’s 18. We had years of hell with him and we tried everything to help him. He went to the council and they contacted me to take him back I said no and they have housed him. He has now got a job and we get on very well. I see him a few times a week and he calls me if he needs anything. Sometimes you have to for the sake of the rest of the family.

I also strongly believe that kids like this need to leave. They need to face the consequences of their behaviour- maybe because deep down they want their independence but can't articulate it well- and it so often seems to be the making of them.

I chose to, but my parents weren't great (we're NC now). But it really, really was the making of me, and I don't regret a thing.

Let's face it, young people in 2026 don't have any less urge to leave home than young people in the 80s or 90s, it's just that older generations have made it more difficult for them now.

That's awful it really is. I was dumped at 16 and they went to live abroad for the next 40 years leaving me to fend for myself.
You really are too young at 16 and 18 to be alone in the world.

This was unusual in the 80s let alone the 90s.

I left home at 17, it went well. I rented a nice flat, managed the bills on a minimum wage job I did on the side of college.
That was a different time though, if an 18yo left the home the chance of them finding decent accommodation is slim to none and unless they had a well paid job they would be in real financial difficulty with the cost of living these days.