Asking child to move out at 18

[HollyIvy89]

Has anyone done it. Why? Where did they go?

I don't think any of my contemporaries were still living at home by 19. London was full of us, in squats, university halls and cheap rooms, having the time of our lives.

You rented a flat by yourself on minimum wage how old are you by which I mean what year roughly?
Surely you mean a room in a shared house/bedsit ?
Even where I grew up in an crappy East Anglian Market town 1bed flats in the early 90s were 90/100 pw minimum so around 400/420 a month.
I was in minimum wage then bringing home about 515 quid a month so there’s just no way I could have done it alone nor did anyone else I know 5/6 years older in the late 80s ?
xx

Exactly in the 70s/80s/90s - if you didn't go to uni - 22-25 must have been the average leave home age

I don't think any of my contemporaries were still living at home by 19. London was full of us, in squats, university halls and cheap rooms, having the time of our lives.

There used to be hostels where girls and women could live. A slightly older friend of mine lived in one when she first came to work in London aged sixteen.

Yes they were. There's a difference between leaving and being asked to leave though. You have to be in education/ apprenticeship until 18 now I think.

I really don't think it was universally common for 16 year olds to move out in the 90s. I also don't know anyone who did other than my sister who was a teen mum. Even then it was a choice, she wasn't kicked out.

Choosing to move out is entirely different anyway. The idea that you would boot your child out at 18 for no earthly reason other than they are 'officially' an adult is clearly unhinged.

I left home in 1990 aged 18, and was one of the last of my friendship group to do so. It really wasn't difficult and I don't think the current generation are any less capable or in need of 'support', it's just that housing is less affordable these days.

I also left home at 16 in the 90s, it wasn’t common in my experience. But there was cheaper rent, housing benefit covered it and there were more jobs
I was in the squat scene, and was relentlessly predated on by older men and women who exploited me in various ways. At 18 I was still vulnerable. I think without a proper place to go and community support 18 is likely to young for many people.

Wow. I'm 61, I don't know anyone who moved out at 18.

More information needed.

How did you support yourselves?

Sadly, this is very common practice in the North American continent. I want my kids to stay with me for as long as they need, or until they feel ready to spread their wings. I have three kids and my oldest just moved out last year, he was 26.

My parents expected us all out at 18 - either go to uni or get a job. They supported us financially though with house deposits and taking care of uni fees. I plan to encourage my kids to move out at a similar time too and have been saving to support them with this since they were born.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it as long as they aren’t left entirely to fend for themselves.

I was thrown out at almost 17 in 2000. I rented a room for £60 a week from an ad in the paper, paid in cash when the landlord popped round. I got a job in a restaurant by walking in and asking if they had any. The answer was yes, can you start on Friday?. I worked hard for tips.

Times have changed, rent, food and energy cost too much, jobs are applied for online and you rarely hear back, every rental that comes up has 50 other people viewing it..

Just awful. Why bother having kids at all . Hope they remember when you’re elderly that love is date stamped

Same!

My sister moved out at 17 which we all thought was young. That was late 80s. She moved in to a tiny flat with a much older man who my parents despised (he was awful to be fair). There is no way she could have afforded it on her own. Teens of my acquaintance either went to university, moved in with boyfriends (not usual at that age) or got pregnant and got council flats (those were the days!).

Very good post !!!

dh’s friend was actually dumped out at 18 (not saying that’s what your doing but he was)- it was ‘you’re old enough now’ and out. Parents from the school rallied around and had him on their couches and helped him get sorted. That was years ago when there were options

I had to leave at 16 in the late seventies . Violent father, and a hopeless mother. I made my own way in life without any huge mishaps. I wouldn't recommend it though.

My mother always made it clear we were expected to leave at 18. I was allowed back in the uni holidays. I was capable of all the housework and laundry and I could cook and budget.

Praxtically, I was fine with it, less of my mother in my life was a positive. I did get some financial support, and Dad would have overruled Mum in extremis, if I just couldn't find a job (whereas, when I rang home to ask for a few quid to tide me over to the end of term, she said, "have you tried walking the streets?" And no, I don't think she was joking.)

In my 50s, I still don't really believe anyone wants me.

Are you planning to help them on their way, before you kick them out? Or are you just looking for them to fend for themselves, struggle along in an entry-level job, barely have enough to cover bills, never be able to buy a home etc?

No one should be forcing their child to move out at any age unless there is a serious situation.

I was 21, pregnant, in an emotionally and physical abusive relationship and trying to get out of it. My controlling younger sibling decided I wasn't allowed to live there. My mam went along with what my sibling wanted and threw me out. The relationship has never got better with my mam and still isn't. I was in one of the worst times of my life and she made me homeless. Always paid my way there too. I resent my mam for it.

Same here.

I had a full time job and did myA levels at evening classes