Accidentally booked holiday for A level results day 2026. DD mad at me!

[Onecrazymama]

My DD is sitting her A levels next year in 2026 and then planning a gap year. She isn't even sure about going to University at all and despite being predicted all A's for her her subjects she isn't planning to apply to a university for 2026. She may apply for a 2027 place though once she realises what hard work getting a real job is 🤦🏻‍♀️.

So I went ahead and booked a package holiday for August 2026 to Spain for her, my husband and other child. Then about a week after I'd booked I realised it would mean we are away for her A level results day 🤦🏻‍♀️. We'll be back 5 days later, she can get a friend to collect them for her and obviously as she's not planning to go to uni I thought she'd be absolutely fine about this.

However, she has caused an huge fuss and wants me to change it! I've looked into moving it until after results day but it is going to cost £320 extra. We really can't afford that and the holiday itself is already alot more than we would usually spend and it's going to push our finances as it is. We booked the holiday as treat for her to be away for her birthday, celebrate finishing school etc and now I feel terrible. I don't know what to do for the best! Right now I feel like cancelling it completely 😞. She's being horrible to me, telling me she won't come on holiday and saying I'm being selfish. My husband says he doesn't want to discuss it! As far as he's concerned we aren't changing the date as it isn't actually important or necessary for her to collect her results in person as she isn't going to uni. Does anyone have any advice or just something to make me feel better 😞

OP it really doesn’t matter whether or not posters on MN would have been bothered about being away for A level results. The fact is, your DD is bothered.

If you go ahead with the holiday, she may simply refuse to come, and you can’t force her. Or she may come and be sulky. Or she may put a brave face on it, but you’ll know she’s unhappy. Is that really how you want your holiday to be?

I would change the dates, without question. You’ve got a year to save up the money.

@ThriveAT read OP’s posts. School insist on in-person collection.

£300 or so to fix OP’s mistake is worth it. I wouldn’t think twice.

You're lucky not to have to think twice about 300 quid!

Sorry if you've already clarified this but can you find out exactly what her issues are with being away on the date? If it's really wanting to be there in person with her friends then I'd try to make that happen for her, but if it's that she doesn't want to wait to get results I'd contact the school and see if there's any way around it. If they aren't willing to email or fax for her, would they allow someone else (a classmate, a teacher, a local family member or adult family friend who's not travelling with you) to pick up or otherwise access the results in person and pass the information on to her?

If she must be there on the day, can your husband and other child go ahead on the holiday as planned, and you and your daughter either join late or leave early so that you're there for her birthday but home for results day? Or even the three of you go and daughter joins when convenient if she'd be comfortable flying alone. That way the difference in costs may be less. But also, don't let your husband bully you out of doing what you need to to fix the mistake if that's what you think is right.

It's not about just collecting the results though. Sure, she might be able to arrange for them to be emailed even if the school don't usually do that.

It's about the milestone, acknowledging the siginificance of the day, the sharing with your peers and - most practically important - the admin that goes with clearing if that's where she ends up.

Wow, that's so inflexible. My child's school emails A level results to all students.

I would tell her you can change it - or give her the £320 what would she prefer

She needs to get a grip. I was away for my A levels results as was simar situation to your dd. She doesnt need to be there. If she doesnt want to go on holiday its up to her

I wouldn't have thought that this is the point - it'll be the communion of friends at school and the shared experience of the emotions that come out in the wash that she's presumably wanting to be home for.

Or at least if that's not it, then she's being precious and daft and you shouldn't move anything.

Apologies - having written that I see they're only published at school. I guess she objects to getting the news second hand. I think you should probably change things and check with her any revised dates as I agree with PP that her 18th will also be significant.

You should change the dates. You know you mucked up, it happens, but you can fix it. It's too important for your DD.

You seem a bit afraid of your husband?

At 18 she can fly back for results or not come. I don’t know why your husband thinks he really has a say. She could just decide not to come and there would sweet FA he can do about it.

Oh op what a nightmare for you and your dd. I completely understand why she’d want to be there in person. I remember having to wait to get home for my GCSE results and the agony of phoning my friends who’d all done well and I had to sit out several days on holiday (in a fucking caravan) while waiting to get home. A level results would be even worse because even if your dd plans to get straight As and not go to uni next year, it’s still a big day and curveballs can hit.

Dd1 was predicted As but missed her place by a grade and even though she was planning a gap year, she still wanted to secure a place through clearing so she could relax (she decided to either go that year / try to get the clearing uni to let her defer or do retakes that year), whatever the outcome it was important that she was around on the day to get on the phone. As it happened she got a place in clearing at an excellent uni that she’s loving and they let her defer so all good, but it was a traumatic day for her and she had to act quickly to secure her place.

Does she have a job?

If she wants the holiday moved she can pay the £320, or she can pay to fly home and get her results while you stay on holiday.

Totally agree with this.

If she doesn’t want to go then fine, but I wouldn’t be happy about the waste of money. She’s calling your bluff about paying towards changing the date because she doesn’t think you’ll actually let her pay. She’s being a typical teenage diva where everything is about her and her wants. She wanted a holiday and to be away for her birthday - yet completely on her terms. She can like it or lump it imo.

If she isn’t going to uni then it doesn’t matter about her results. Surely she should have a job sorted by then anyway so might not be able to even go and collect the results - I had my full time job ready to start the day after finishing my a-levels and I’d be expecting her to be doing the same.

If your husband is the problem here and not shifting just tell him you managed your spk to someone who was totally charming & changed the dates over for just £50 then secretly pay it off.

There is a slightly odd trend at the moment, epitomised by this site, to elevate teen girls’ desires/wants into important needs, as opposed to helping them see a mature perspective.

Ultimately, your daughter has months to make a decision based on these results, so there is no urgency to them at all.

As to the camaraderie of results day, wrack my brain as I might, I can’t remember getting my results at all. Maybe it was because I did 4th term and already had a uni place, maybe I am just getting forgetful!

More pertinently, as someone who taught for 10 years, it is a really uncomfortable day. You have pupils in the same room who have aced their exams as others who haven’t made their first uni choice or, in some cases, any of their offers. Most want to get out as soon as possible, or to ask their teachers for help with clearing etc

Practically, if she wants the results on the day, with a signed letter from her and a form of ID, most schools will allow any trusted adult to pick the results up.

As I said upthread, ask her if she will pay a reasonable amount out of her own money to change the tickets (depends on her income, savings etc). That way she is brought into the adult world of choices having consequences and not the childish world of screaming and stamping her feet to get her way. If she is genuinely prepared to pay, then maybe change the tickets. If she just continues to strop, you know she doesn’t really want it that much.

Goodness me there are so many people on here with no empathy for what is actually a child. Mistakes happen but yes you need to change the date. It’s a massive day for her (as she has stated) and she will have 2 years effort go into it. Your husband seems to have no empathy for her (or you) and you sound disengaged with her choices. This would be more concerning for me. I’m not sure it sounds like a caring environment for any of you at the moment. I know that everyone can get entrenched in positions when arguing but might be time for a reset.

We’re away for both a level and GCSE results, both can be accessed online. Not a problem as a level dd is not going to uni. GCSE dd got her college place sorted already.

Change it. This is a huge deal to your daughter. It's one of those days you remember. Your husband should know this. Support your daughter and change the holiday.

This

I'm sure you can afford £320 if you're paying for 4 people to go abroad for a holiday.

Definitely change it. If you make her go the holidays ruined anyway as she will be miserable.

Still remember getting my results. It’s a big deal missing that for a cheap week AI in Spain or something is madness.

My DC school doesn't email, DD had to go in person to collect both gcse and A level results, and parents got a email earlier this summer, regarding this year's gcse results, that its the same "in person" collection as usual

It's seems the OP has been really horrid and booked a holiday treat for her DD,s 18th. So shameful. She should do whatever her DD says and spend an extra £340 pounds to move the dates so DD can get her results on the day they come out. It dosnt matter that you can get the results on line. Oh OP stop being so selfish and bend to your DD,s needs.
Im glad my parents couldn't afford to take me on holiday when I was 18. I would never have forgiven them!!!🥴🙄😬.

The daughter has clearly stated it matters to her.

She needs to be there for her important day. I would change it.