Accidentally booked holiday for A level results day 2026. DD mad at me!

[Onecrazymama]

My DD is sitting her A levels next year in 2026 and then planning a gap year. She isn't even sure about going to University at all and despite being predicted all A's for her her subjects she isn't planning to apply to a university for 2026. She may apply for a 2027 place though once she realises what hard work getting a real job is 🤦🏻‍♀️.

So I went ahead and booked a package holiday for August 2026 to Spain for her, my husband and other child. Then about a week after I'd booked I realised it would mean we are away for her A level results day 🤦🏻‍♀️. We'll be back 5 days later, she can get a friend to collect them for her and obviously as she's not planning to go to uni I thought she'd be absolutely fine about this.

However, she has caused an huge fuss and wants me to change it! I've looked into moving it until after results day but it is going to cost £320 extra. We really can't afford that and the holiday itself is already alot more than we would usually spend and it's going to push our finances as it is. We booked the holiday as treat for her to be away for her birthday, celebrate finishing school etc and now I feel terrible. I don't know what to do for the best! Right now I feel like cancelling it completely 😞. She's being horrible to me, telling me she won't come on holiday and saying I'm being selfish. My husband says he doesn't want to discuss it! As far as he's concerned we aren't changing the date as it isn't actually important or necessary for her to collect her results in person as she isn't going to uni. Does anyone have any advice or just something to make me feel better 😞

As I’ve put In other posts, which I appreciate you may not have read, I’m actually on the side of the OP’s daughter choosing what she prefers. She doesn’t need to have to go along with anything if she would prefer not to. If she still feels by say next February/March that she’d prefer to be at home, collect her results in person and the whole celebrating/commiserating with friends afterwards, that’s a valid option.
However, the OP, her husband and other daughter can still go on holiday.

As stated in another of my posts, the bulk of the time spent on A level results day is with your friends. Not your family. If it transpires that the OP, her husband and other daughter are on holiday for A level results day, OP’s DD can still do what most of her friends will be doing after they pick their results up - phone/ face time parents to tell them the news. Then get on with the rest of the time spent with friends.

As I’ve put In other posts, which I appreciate you may not have read, I’m actually on the side of the OP’s daughter choosing what she prefers. She doesn’t need to have to go along with anything if she would prefer not to. If she still feels by say next February/March that she’d prefer to be at home, collect her results in person and the whole celebrating/commiserating with friends afterwards, that’s a valid option.
However, the OP, her husband and other daughter can still go on holiday.

As stated in another of my posts, the bulk of the time spent on A level results day is with your friends. Not your family. If it transpires that the OP, her husband and other daughter are on holiday for A level results day, OP’s DD can still do what most of her friends will be doing after they pick their results up - phone/ face time parents to tell them the news. Then get on with the rest of the time spent with friends.

It’s a big night out for many A Level students. Bars with free drinks, free stuff at Nandos, that sort of thing. The sort of thing most teenagers would consider the end of the world if they missed it.

where we live, proms are just after exams but way before results.

You made a mistake but you need to fix it. You can't be away when the results come out.

The proms go on until September.

Like I said, not where we live. They’re held in the few days after the exam contingency days. I’ve never heard of any being held at the end of August.

Oh my god, do not change the holiday plans. Sounds like she might need to grow up a bit. Speak to her school and see if they can get them electronically, or just wait for the post.

A year in advance, I’m pretty sure you can cancel or move the dates with very little penalty.

That’s not how life works though is it. One thing doesn’t make the other meaningless. We’re always trying to remember how to live in the moment instead of rushing on, making results all about the next step. A big day like that is worth experiencing, it isn’t like a prom, and it matters to her. £300 or so to fix OP’s mistake is worth it. I wouldn’t think twice.

They definitely don’t go on until September around us. They’re done by July

This is not my experience, across multiple schools and regions. Proms / leavers’ balls are in late June / early July after the final exam. Prizegiving usually October or November.

Your husband is being a dick

Regardless of what she feels about Uni now, those results matter and results day is an important milestone. She may change her mind about Uni in the next year in which case, being home and near phones to get organised (or if necessary, get through clearing) will be important. No disrespect to your DD, but being predicted all As doesn't mean she will get them - you only have to go on the Results 2025 thread to see how many DC with predicted As dropped one or even two grades this year. If that happens, being able to get into school and access support for next steps will be even more important.

Move the dates.

Prizegiving is after the start of term for those who have chosen to go to university? I bet there are a lot missing!

Usually coincides with reading week.

I really agree with you on this point. Already mentioned our A level results night celebration was a bit of a damp squib. I think a big part of that was we’d had the 6th form ball on the last day of the A level exams over a month before and that was such a good night: a tall order to top it, really.

Another factor on reflection was something @namechangedforvalidreasons mentioned - and I do think people have forgotten this aspect too - the people who didn’t do as well did dominate the “celebrations.” I remember spending a fair bit of time hugging 2 friends, who didn’t get the results they were expecting. and trying to cheer them up. It was a bit of a muted night on account of not wanting to make people who were disappointed worse.

I think I would change the date of the holiday. I’d probably pull it forward so you’re back for Results day. It’s a big day for those who’ve taken exams.

Can she fly home early?

Your husband is being an arse.

I think the issue is that you and DH are both acting like her A-levels don't matter, that you don't care.

She's spending 2years on them, it matters even if she doesnt go to uni, she's clearly working hard to be an A student and you're both acting as if her lack of decision on uni makes all this work she's doing irrelevant.

It's £320, act like it's a huge mistake and you want to put it right, she wants you to care.

results in person only and less than a £1 a day means my view is you should change it.
not changing it reduces the importance you are putting on the exams in her eyes.

I think you're confusing the BBC Proms concerts with the end of school prom.

I didn't get the expected results and was planning a gap year. Once I got over the initial shock, I was so grateful for the support and help from school that day and the next (which wouldn't have been available a week later), while I reviewed my plans and realised it wasn't the end of the world. I ended up doing resits and then went to my first-choice university the following year.

I was away for my GCSE results and can remember standing in a phone box, calling the school for them; it was horrendous for what had just been the most important exams of my life.

This was an honest mistake which can be rectified for a relatively low price; personally, I think you should change the dates. There's a lot that can change for your daughter over the next 12 months, including her plans for the year after A-levels.

Mine went into school to collect results and didn’t get them online at all.
They then all went out and celebrated together until the early hours.
I would change it - it’s a big deal.

I didn't go on my family holiday during my A'level results year (25 years ago now!) because it was important to me to be there to collect them in person, see my mates, join in with the parties etc. I imagine your DD feels similar? I enjoyed being home alone at that age too (parties in my mum's kitchen 😂😂) - can't you just let her stay home?

Not that deep. The school will email it. She doesn't need to be there.