Accidentally booked holiday for A level results day 2026. DD mad at me!

[Onecrazymama]

My DD is sitting her A levels next year in 2026 and then planning a gap year. She isn't even sure about going to University at all and despite being predicted all A's for her her subjects she isn't planning to apply to a university for 2026. She may apply for a 2027 place though once she realises what hard work getting a real job is 🤦🏻‍♀️.

So I went ahead and booked a package holiday for August 2026 to Spain for her, my husband and other child. Then about a week after I'd booked I realised it would mean we are away for her A level results day 🤦🏻‍♀️. We'll be back 5 days later, she can get a friend to collect them for her and obviously as she's not planning to go to uni I thought she'd be absolutely fine about this.

However, she has caused an huge fuss and wants me to change it! I've looked into moving it until after results day but it is going to cost £320 extra. We really can't afford that and the holiday itself is already alot more than we would usually spend and it's going to push our finances as it is. We booked the holiday as treat for her to be away for her birthday, celebrate finishing school etc and now I feel terrible. I don't know what to do for the best! Right now I feel like cancelling it completely 😞. She's being horrible to me, telling me she won't come on holiday and saying I'm being selfish. My husband says he doesn't want to discuss it! As far as he's concerned we aren't changing the date as it isn't actually important or necessary for her to collect her results in person as she isn't going to uni. Does anyone have any advice or just something to make me feel better 😞

She surely has to suck it up?! It won’t alter the grades.
My parents booked a holiday for us all when I was 20 over my Uni graduation. It was a no brainer I missed my ceremony and went to Tenerife. I still ‘graduated’!

Results day is a rite of passage regardless of whether she is planning to apply for university for 2026 - and she has plenty of time to change her mind about this if she wants. She could even decide to go through Clearing on results day.

You need to change the holiday.

My parents were away when I got my results 27 years ago (hadn’t occurred to them as I’m the first in my family to sit A Levels let alone go to university). I’m still holding a grudge!

A- level exam results have been on the 3rd thursday in August for 50 years.

To everyone telling OP she should have checked - clearly it was an oversight that she regrets and wouldn't make the same mistake again. Also the daughter also knew the dates and didn't think about the clash either.

However, collecting results with friends is something many people remember and if she is expected to get good grades could be a lovely memory.

If I were you, arrange for her to fly out to you the evening of or the morning after the results day. Get whoever you trust to drop her off. All you do then is change one ticket, the date of one plane ticket there.

Okay it's a huge mistake - but these things happen. No one's dies so it's not big inn the grand scale of things, just more annoying and you seem to be caught in the middle. Offer this as an option and if any more issues just wash your hands of the whole trip n just cancel.

Yes but they may well also for Univerosty and a lack of online results and picking them up 4 days later gives absolutely no room to sort anything.

@Onecrazymama your husband may well have been self sufficient but this holiday stops all of that there is no room for her to make any choices at the last minute - clearing clears out fast, decisions about univerosty halls etc if she does decide she wants to go which is entirely possible

@Sladuf1 whar is bloody resilient about having to go along with something that causes you disruption around what is for many a really important life day. I still remember mine and all the stress and problem solving I had to do to get myself on the path I wanted. Being around on it helped me to be resilient missing it would have made me a failure

I think this rite of passage stuff is over-hyped. £320 is several meals out. She doesn’t need to work to earn it. A holiday is a privilege you and DH need to work for your kids to enjoy, not a right.

Personally I would be reluctant to change it, particularly as you’ve already accommodated her wish to be away to avoid celebrating her 18th with her mates and chosen her preferred destination, at cost. I understand people have their nostalgic experiences of the fun of receiving them in person but nothing changes the result. I got as good results as it was possible to get and tbh the ‘celebration’ was largely dominated by the people who did badly, reassuring them and trying to play our own excellent results down. Also the kids get all tense waiting for them - we were away for my son’s results this year and he definitely had them on his mind. The holiday was a distraction, if we’d been at home I suspect it would have more dramatic without a lot of other things to see and do, and when they were good (they were expected to be fine but you just never know) we had a lovely holiday day of celebration. Had they been shite it would have been a whole lot easier to provide some perspective.

I think if you’re getting taken on holiday for free at 18, particularly with all that’s been done to please her, you fit in.

Also, If they’re not what she hoped for she might well spend the day moping rather than celebrating and take the mood on holiday. I wonder why your DH is firm on sticking to the original plan?

Will your H even notice that the holiday dates have changed if you decide to do this? Most men wouldnt, a year in advance.

I am surprised the company will charge you £320 with giving them a years notice tbh. Or did you mean the week itself that you want to change it to is £320 more?Maybe cancelling and rebooking the whole thing would be cheaper!

I think I would try and change it as it is an important day for them

Can you not change it to the week before and be back in time for the results, thus avoiding the extra costs?

Why are you so worried about standing up to your husband about this. Your DD should be your priority not your bully sounding husband.

It's a package deal and the company charge £50pp to change the dates and then the actual accommodation is £120 extra for the different dates 😞

I think it’s only critical if you’ve applied for university that year, and need to be around to discuss options with the school or contact clearing if the results aren’t quite what you hoped.

I’d leave the booking as it is, op. There’s plenty of time for your dd to come round!

I’ve just had this… DD said she was happy to be away for results but then cried all day when she wasn’t there to get them or celebrate with her friends. I would definitely change the dates. Wish I had!

I don’t think the fee is that bad and I’d suck it up to move the dates. It’s not about what she wants to do the next year or for uni or any of that. It’s about being there in the moment on a day that means something to her, even if it doesn’t matter for everyone. Her dad shouldn’t dig his feels in. She’s done nothing wrong and you made an innocent mistake that can be rectified. It’s not some principle to press or hill to die on. Move the dates and all will be well.

its quite a big thing to get the results you’ve worked for 2 years for with your friends if you go to uni or not. They might all be celebrating with a night out as a final goodbye to school. I’d move the holiday

What if it’s not about results-critical uni stuff but about the end of A levels and sharing that experience with your friends before you all move on to other paths? There’s more to life.

Sure you just tell your DH - “I fucked up and booked the wrong dates, so I’ve changed it to this…”
Why does his opinion trump everyone else’s? Who paid for the original holiday?

The university thing is crap. You’re essentially saying that because she doesn’t intend to go straight to uni that the results she’s worked hard for for years don’t matter.

Also, may be unpopular opinion - but I don’t think anyone should be booking a holiday that stretches them financially to the extent that £320 over a year is not affordable.

so she asked to be away for a specific date her birthday which is only days apart from results day and it’s your fault? I’d point out that to her and suggest she take some responsibity.
not sure what I’d do re holiday.

I think we’re more aligned on this than you think, you know. OP’s DD doesn’t need to miss A level results day. As I put in the post you replied to, OP’s DD has the best part of a year to consider what she wants to do here. If she gets to say next February/March, for example, and still feels she’d prefer to be there to pick her A level results up in person, then she can choose to stay at home. It’s a valid option. I just don’t think everyone else’s plans need to change necessarily.

As you and others have stated, the bulk of the time spent celebrating/commiserating on A level results day is with friends. Not your family. I think 1 or 2 parents were around when my peers and I were collecting their A level results but most of us we were on our own. Most people’s parents were at work. I can’t see that has changed much since 2005. I barely saw my mother that day and we were and remain very close. I remember ringing her to tell her my results; one of the best phone calls I ever made.

That’s what the Proms are for!

I agree a lot can change in a year and you should change the dates. She will hopefully get careers advice at school and start to do her own research about courses may want to visit universities etc and put applications in.
As she is predicted such good results can your husband not agree she should at least have the option of fulfilling her potential? Being there in person means she will have the fun of sharing the day with her friends and be on the spot to follow through. Good luck to her.

Scotland was posting out exam results 50 years ago. 20 years ago results were posted and sent electronically (my DS was on holiday with friends but still knew his results and then called to tell me to open the envelope).

Change the dates. If you can afford a holiday abroad then you can find £320 to change the dates. Ignore your husband, he's being an arse.

Ha, and if she wants to get those who are paying on her side 'being horrible' and throwing her weight around is really not the way to go about things.
Sounds like she has a bit of growing up to do.

I'd change it. It seems like something she will feel a little bitter about for a while if she misses it.

I know it has all changed since I graduated but it was a big night out with friends and a good atmosphere collecting results. Regardless of what people planned to do after school everyone went out that night.