Accidentally booked holiday for A level results day 2026. DD mad at me!

[Onecrazymama]

My DD is sitting her A levels next year in 2026 and then planning a gap year. She isn't even sure about going to University at all and despite being predicted all A's for her her subjects she isn't planning to apply to a university for 2026. She may apply for a 2027 place though once she realises what hard work getting a real job is 🤦🏻‍♀️.

So I went ahead and booked a package holiday for August 2026 to Spain for her, my husband and other child. Then about a week after I'd booked I realised it would mean we are away for her A level results day 🤦🏻‍♀️. We'll be back 5 days later, she can get a friend to collect them for her and obviously as she's not planning to go to uni I thought she'd be absolutely fine about this.

However, she has caused an huge fuss and wants me to change it! I've looked into moving it until after results day but it is going to cost £320 extra. We really can't afford that and the holiday itself is already alot more than we would usually spend and it's going to push our finances as it is. We booked the holiday as treat for her to be away for her birthday, celebrate finishing school etc and now I feel terrible. I don't know what to do for the best! Right now I feel like cancelling it completely 😞. She's being horrible to me, telling me she won't come on holiday and saying I'm being selfish. My husband says he doesn't want to discuss it! As far as he's concerned we aren't changing the date as it isn't actually important or necessary for her to collect her results in person as she isn't going to uni. Does anyone have any advice or just something to make me feel better 😞

With this in mind too, I really think your DD’s feelings about this may well have changed by next year. Don’t give yourself a hard time over it! This will be one of those things that will work itself out.

My parents did this to me (and back then the only way to get them was when the post arrived). I had to wait a week to find out how I'd done. I felt like I'd worked hard all year, sat all the exams, and it wasn't that important to my parents. I missed the social experience of being able to call friends and compare grades on results day. It was all a bit anti-climatic in the end as it was all over and done with by everyone else when I finally got mine.

I'd probably change it in case she does decide to apply for university after all.

Results day is about meeting friends and going out together. It’s a right of passage day.

I'm amazed everyone is getting results online.
DD has done gcses and A levels and both were only available to collect in person. You could nominate a friend to collect (arranged with school office in advance) and DD collected a friends. Next year DS is doing GCSEs next year and I'm booking for end of June/beginning of July to get a cheaper deal
Fwiw DD wanted to go away for her 18th as well (in school holidays)

I can't understand the relevance of this. Surely if his parents weren't interested in his school life, he wants to be interested in his dd's school life and therefore want her to be around for her results?

She's being horrible to me, telling me she won't come on holiday and saying I'm being selfish.

Fine - bye then. Take your husband and other, non bratty child.
She wants it all - to be away for her 18th, but back for the post A Level piss up no doubt.

How outrageous of her - wanting to be away for her 18th but also wanting to be around for her results.

Getting your A level results with all your friends is a majorly important event! There’s no way your DD will want to miss it just because she’s planning to take a gap year. She wants to be there! You need to move the holiday. It’s totally your mistake and you’ve got plenty of time to save the additional money it’ll cost to make this right. I’m actually flabbergasted at the number of people saying she can get the results on line. That is NOT the same at all! I’d never forgive you if you did this to me. Listen to your DD and get this sorted.

And?! Why wouldn’t she?
Hardly an outrageous demand.

I would try to change it, the school won’t let anyone else get them for her.

It isn't just another day no but it's certainly not right that this girl is making her mum feel so bad about booking/ going a holiday. I did go to uni actually yes thanks for asking

Of she's not going to have potential university issues to deal with, there is no need to be there. She might want your support (you don't need to look far on the A level results threads to see the number of kids predicted A/Stars and getting s getting Cs and Ds) but there no reason why you can't all be on holiday

My DD just got her results last week. She went in person, even though they were emailed out too. She wanted to celebrate with her friends. She also decided not to come on holiday, despite choosing the holiday herself only a couple of weeks before. If I’d have booked holiday over results day, she’d have looked into the possibility of divorcing me and her dad. It’s an important day - she’ll have worked bloody hard for those A levels.

She's said she will. I trust the OP won't accept the money though, as she made the cock-up.

How can a parent not even think about results day?

She could do both.

It’s such an important day for them. I still cherish the memories of walking to college to collect my results with friends. It was a big day to be spent with them, followed by getting tipsy in the evening.

What a shame. Your intention was to do something nice for the family. I’d probably pay to change it and ask her to chip in a bit too.x

She doesn't want to be away for her results - I don't think the opinion of anyone else on this thread matters.

You were booking a holiday that you said she wants - but not on the terms that she is happy with. You made a mistake, you have to work out how to move forward - preferably without telling her she should suck it up and be grateful.

Your husband should realise that her feelings matter. Making massive inferences from what you have posted here, he sounds like he thinks he is the head of the household and the opinions of his daughter are not relevant.

A level results are a big deal, whether you are going to university or not. It is built up to being the big ending to 14 years of school and hard work. Like it or not... results day is built up by schools, peers and the media to be a big deal.

If she said - I don't want to go into school on results day to get my results, I would rather go away on holiday with you to my favourite place and get the results when I get back - that would be fine - but you admit that you had not planned to be away for the results, it was a mistake, it seems that you are now trying to justify why she should not want to be there for the results.

Shes probably seen loads of videos on social media of people opening their results this year

It really is time that when people book holidays for their adult children, that they consider their obligations as well as their own.

My son used to go to a Saturday class and his teachers' parents booked a cruise for them and her but didn't even ask her if it was convenient for her despite presumably being well aware that she had professional obligations.

A level results day isn't something you overlook.

Shes not even sat the exams yet!

Your husband should realise that her feelings matter. Making massive inferences from what you have posted here, he sounds like he thinks he is the head of the household and the opinions of his daughter are not relevant

No, it would also be interesting to see how he'd react if this situation affected his son, rather than a daughter.

A level courses last two years - the OP has known since September 2024 that her dd will be sitting exams next year (and thus receiving the results on a given day in August).

Hard disagree. I work with this age group intensively and am all for them developing resilience and not getting their own way all the time, but this occasion isn't a time to be teaching them "life lessons" or trying to share perspectives from older friends and family.

At 17/18 you're about to enter a new phase of your life and are a young adult. As a result, it really matters to have some agency, especially over decisions relating to a day which represents the end of a crucial two years.

It isn't catastrophising. It IS a big deal. It's a big deal to open that envelope, it's a big deal to see your results and (hopefully) feel relief as well as excitement at what lies ahead, and it's a big deal to share the occasion with your friends, who, at that age, feel very central to your life.

Having overseen a number of A Level results days in my career I can tell you this is really important to so many of them, and she won't learn any lessons from being made to miss it - other than perhaps cementing resentment between her and her parents, and especially her dad.

OP - better to change it now and allow her to feel like she's been heard. She's not saying she doesn't want to go on holiday, she's saying she doesn't want to go at that time.

You agree that it was your mistake

Your Dd is even offering to pay the difference (of course you won’t let her!)

She may very well have changed her mind about applying to Uni by next year, and if her school only post results this holiday really could scupper her chances (if she needed to go through clearing etc)

It must feel galling but you need to change the dates

I have a similar feeling on this. It’s a year away too. Chances are OP’s daughter may have changed her mind by then. The dust will have settled in that time and OP’s daughter can see how she feels about this next year. If she still prefers the idea of being home for A level results day vs being away with the family on a holiday it sounds as though she was very keen on, she can choose to stay at home and celebrate/commiserate A level results with friends. Her family will then be back home a few days later.

Realistically if your priority is celebrating/commiserating with friends on A level results day and going out on the lash with them, do your family need to be around? Nope. Are you going to be spending much time with them? Not really.