How much do you charge your over 16s/under 18s?

[atmywitsend1989]

Hi all. To start off, I want to say that I never considered this (if you'd asked me a year ago I'd say I'd never charge, i'm of an ethnic background and while i helped my parents 20 yrs ago as a teen its not common to do this in my culture) until recently but I've been speaking to some friends... they're starting to charge their kids digs.

Son is turning 17 soon. He had issues with laziness before and had no goals for the future but he's really starting to thrive recently. He's in care at the moment, no abuse but because he was behaving violently at home due to disagreements about sexuality that we're now resolving. he's doing well bless him. Hes given enough money for fun and clothing ect and has plans for his future. Reunification and coming to live home is a possibility once when its safe for me and my daughter to have him back. He's going to start yr 12 soon and has been sending out applications for apprenticeships. He wants to work part time along this but Ive told him that I'm not sure if this is possible as my nephew tried the same and was unable to as per his rules for the apprenticeship. He's had a history of being sectioned from 14-15 when he was living at home (I involved CAMHS as soon as I could) but no MH diagnoses, CAMHS have finally discharged him recently and say that he's stable. No disabilities ect.

I visit him regularly. when he turns 17 it's likely that he'll either move to semi independant living or he'll come back home. I've told him that it's up to him but that I miss him and he's my son, ill be there for him and will respect where he chooses to go no matter what he decides.. But If he comes back home at 17.. what should I be charging him? I contributed from 16 after my dad passed and I had to take care of my mum, but I know that it's different these days so I don't know what would be too much and what would be unfair. Even charging a small amount seems like it would teach him to manage his money. Ive heard of some parents charging more and then not telling their teens that theyre going to return it when they're older, I think that's a brilliant idea. Im not sure what else parents in my situation are doing as none of my friends have had teens in care

Even if he is earning at 16 or 17, you don’t charge him rent! Christ.

*still are

He assaulted you before or after you allowed a grown man to lay hands on him (a child) for being gay?

You should be grateful your son wants anything to do with you at all never mind charging him to live with you.

“That part of him”?

You ought to be ashamed of yourself,

My daughter started working as soon as she turned 16 alongside 6th form,I never charged a penny until she started uni at over 18.
If I was financially able I would save it for her but can't,she has had at least 12 weeks lodge free though,over the last 12 months.

Not meaning to sound harsh here but presumably you managed financially before she turned 18 so why when she turns 18 does she have to pay a fee? Especially if uni where she is continuing her education.

@GoldenNuggets08
Because I was receiving universal credit top up and child benefit before.

Wow. Think this poor child is better off in care. I can't believe you're posting about how much rent to charge him when there are so many other issues to work through here.

In the context of my post, I think it's clear that I am in no way suggesting it should be held against him.

So many people say8ng it’s wrong to charge a 16-18 ( and older if at uni) at all, especially given that you seem to have failed him spectacularly over the years, and you aren’t picking up on this! If he comes home OP, you owe him, not the other way around.

Unless you absolutely need the money because you are losing income then no, don't charge a 17 year old. He is a child and will be in education or training. If was an adult and working I still wouldn't charge him but I would insist on helping him to save properly (and not by patronisingly taking rent and saving it for him).

If you want to teach him financial awareness and responsibility that's a good thing and many parents fail to do that.

Nothing.

And I hope he stays away for his own sake and mental health.

For the love of all things holy, I just want to hug this boy, (probably to his dismay 🤣), but
poor, poor, boy.

@atmywitsend1989 he needs to stay where he's currently living for as long as he can, then he needs to find some other supported living, a long way from you.

I don't have the words (that won't get me banned) for how you've treated your son. I can imagine your 'apology' 🥹 & even a proper, genuine apology will never undo the harm you've caused him, he'll never not be able to hear what you said/called him. Never.

I'm not condoning any violence, but I'm can see how he was driven to lash out.

how much truth is there in what another poster said about him being 'attacked' /physically dealt to by a male adult??

Nothing

Where on earth do you get 'holding it against him' from what @Minnie798 posted???

No, of course you weren't, quite the oppposite!!

I think your son needs to speak to his social worker about supported living accommodation when his placement in care ends. He needs professional help to move on, not a parent who 'will be there for him' but seemingly wasn't when it mattered.

You charge nothing.

You continue to strive to do better, and let him know that doing so is your priority.

Nothing. Not a penny! Mine is hoping for an apprenticeship and I won’t be charging a penny until he’s in full time employment and earning a full time wage. An apprentice doesn’t earn enough to pay rent. He will barely be able to run a car.

We have an 18 and 23 year old. Eldest is back from Uni and working and we’re charging him nothing.

Wouldn’t even think about charging the youngest at 18.

Fair point! I've heard that they don't pay much.

Children should only pay rent if they are earning through full time work.

Reading between the lines, you threw a strop when he came out as gay and now you are trying to see if you gouge him for cash?
Yes this screams i love you and this will always be your home and you'll always be welcome here as you are.

That’s all you take from the replies?

Good god, you’re a piece of work.