How do you deal with disappointing GCSE mock results?

[3oldladiesstuckinalavatory]

My bright son is startging to get his GCSE mocks results back and seems to be hovering around the 4/5 mark so far. Whist for some kids, this should be a cause for celebration, DS has done absolutely no work at all, despite being in all the top sets, and I'm really pissed off with him. I have no idea what to do with a kid who just doesn't care.

Maybe he'll scrape enough passess next year for 6th form college, but that seems like a bad option for a kid with zero drive to succeed. I am disappointed and don't know how to handle my feelings around this. I'm tempted to tell him he's lazy and that he will get what he deserves when all his mates go off to university, but I have long suspected he has innattentive ADHD and I don't think that approach will help. It's worth noting we went through the NHS diagnostic process a few years ago, and they said that he doesn't meet the threshold, so that's a dead end (not that it would change who he is - extra time on exam papers is not going to help, it might even make things worse).

Should we give him a bollocking or just leave him to coast along and leave him to find out for himself where zero effort will get him?

To make matters worse for him, we're financially comfortable and he has lived a life of privilege. He doesn't know what it means to struggle.

I feel like we are failing him.

I agree with @Harrysmummy246, he is a lot more than halfway through the learning @Trovindia.

Even if he stated GCSE work in year 10 and no earlier, he is at the end of year 10 now. There are only six months more of school time before exams start in April.

Yes grades 4/5/6 are fine for lots of dc, but it sounds or sounded as tho the op’s ds could expect higher grades. Most ppl have suggested ways to support.

@Trovindia There’s a lot wrong if he wants maths A level when most candidates will have an 8 or 9. For A level a 6 in anything isn’t great and will require work to get a good A level result. Good teaching and a strong work ethic will be required which isn’t guaranteed. If he’s been doing GCSEs since y9 it’s not great after 2 years when other dc start in y10. A levels will be 2 years, not 3.

OK, I'll just pretend I wasn't a teacher, TA, tutor for various schools and syllabuses then....

@Trovindia

It's not fine though if he's capable of doing better.

Given the DC is in top sets you would expect they could get 7+ in some, if not majority of subjects. This would help keeping A level options open and also with future uni/ apprentice/ job options. A top set child getting all 5/6s would prob be considered to have not done as well as they could. End of year 10 is short of time to start making changes, OP is right to take action now imo

A 6 is a B in old money which is a good grade!

I'm not focusing on the maths bit, that's a separate issue, I just think it's mad to say a B isn't a good grade. But also it's likely his grades will go up quite a bit anyway because he still has months to go and he won't remain static.

My DS just finished his GCSEs ( well, a month ago!) and although his grades were slightly better than your DS at the end of year 10 we had similar concerns because he has target grades of 8s based on his CAT results.
He also has ADHD (only officially diagnosed last week), but as you say extra time might actually be a hindrance to him as he works best under time pressure.
We found that he hadn't been focusing well in class and as a result had to do lots of extra work at home to compensate, with us managing and supporting him through year 11. We had to do what we needed to do to get him through the year, so I wouldn't feel bad about it. I've had conversations with other parents and this is not uncommon. Different kids mature at different times and especially with ADHD.

A B isn't a bad grade, not at all. For some children a C would be a fantastic achievement. But it's all relative. You help your child to achieve what they are capable of??

It’s all relative tho isn’t it. Yes a 6 is a good grade. If DS1 who has LD had gained half a dozen grade Bs he and we would have been delighted. But if DS2, who is much more academic, had come out with 5s and 6s at GCSE, I think that would have been disappointing, as he was capable of more. Sounds like the OP’s DC is capable of more than grades 5/6 next summer.

Does he even want to go to university? There are other ways to achieve success than academics.

I did a gentle bollocking along the lines off “Are those the results you’ll be happy to see when you go and pick up your results envelope next year? No? Well then. Get your flipping arse into gear and start revising! Let’s see what can help”
Then it was revision timetable, flashcards, no phones during revision time.

For subjects like maths that are cumulative over years of education, they're well over half way through. You start GCSE maths in reception.

Well if everyone thought a 6 was great and the best, some A level courses would be empty because they need a 7 plus. Of course it depends on ability and capturing that ability via exams. It’s the only route to A levels - not that everyone should do A levels of course!

Some schools are very inflexible with regard to the grades required to study a subject at A level. Our local secondary only keeps the brightest and the best and ships the rest to the college in the next town. Dd3 goes to another school and required a 9 in maths to do higher level maths IB.

I'd start by getting a diagnosis for him. If he really does have ADHD this could well be absolutely tortuous for him

@Manthide A levels are often quite a step up though so it’s very difficult when SC get Ds and don’t know what to do next. It’s better to be honest and get dc to look at other courses.

ADHD is exhausting, being in school, having to listen and struggle by working extra hard to retain information is hard so please don't underestimate that. It can be so draining that it can make things hard to function both physically and mentally.
Maybe the can't be bothered appearance actually boils down the the fact that he's burnt out and struggling? Maybe there's executive function difficulties or demand avoidance also at play here.

Think about a more collaborative approach here, what can you do to support him? Is he happy with those grades (if not then it might make him think) Look at his next steps and see what he needs to achieve to get there. Also worth noting that he may be entitled to extra time in his exams if he's got ADHD so advocate for him and don't be afraid to push for that.
Remember there's still lots of time to go before the actual exams and still more content to cover so those grades are also likely to go up.