Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Providing booze at a 15th party

105 replies

wingsandstrings · 09/04/2025 10:23

DD is turning 15 in a few weeks. She is hosting a party of about 20/25 people here at the house. She does not drink. But she says that there is 'an expectation' of alcoholic drinks being providing at parties now, amongst her year group. I am deeply uncomfortable at having a bunch of 14 and 15 year olds in my house and providing alcohol. I think it's a safeguarding issue and weird to be sanctioning drinking so young when we know how harmful alcohol is. But I don't want to embarrass her. I am not naive, I know many of her friends drink. So you think there is an expectation that at a 15th alcohol is provided? Should I provide a few beers?

OP posts:
Outofthepan · 09/04/2025 14:18

wingsandstrings · 09/04/2025 14:12

I kinda think parties for teens are mostly just people hanging about and eating and chatting . . . or perhaps I just went to some very tame ones when younger. However we have a karaoke machine (as requested by my DD), a fire pit (a covered one so no one can fall in!) and will have pizza delivered.

Show quote history

That sounds great, @wingsandstrings !

Flutterbees · 09/04/2025 14:19

No way would I host a party for a bunch of 14/15 year olds and provide alcohol, I wouldn’t even let them bring their own. Recipe for disaster.

ARichtGoodDram · 09/04/2025 14:43

Livingonbananabread · 09/04/2025 13:26

Interesting to see the consensus so firmly against this. We’re a couple of years off this stage and it sounds pretty young to me. But my parents provided booze at my 15th birthday (a couple of light beers per person) and none of the other parents had an issue with it. I remember not being altogether happy with it myself, as a friend had told me about a party where someone got wasted on vodka and threw up everywhere and I was worried. But my parents said that was exactly why they were providing it themselves, so they could control it, keep an eye on us, and confiscate anything else anyone brought. It was fine (post-GCSE party was a bit messier!). By 15 all my friends’ parents were giving us a glass of wine with dinner too.

It entirely depends on the friendship group tbh.

When DS and DDs 1 & 2 were 15 alcohol at parties was absolutely a thing.

DS2 is 16 and none of his friendship group drinks at all. There's not even been any "omg x got hammered at a party and puked". They don't even really do parties a lot.

I think the Covid years changed teens hanging out and there's a lot less teen drinking in the current cohort round here.

Although when they hit uni it seems to either be boom or bust and they're either teetotal or falling out of clubs every weekend. No middle ground.

elliejjtiny · 09/04/2025 15:07

Absolutely not. And I doubt "everyone else" is doing it. My ds3 is 14 and still plays with lego!

MoveYourSelfDearie · 09/04/2025 17:42

elliejjtiny · 09/04/2025 15:07

Absolutely not. And I doubt "everyone else" is doing it. My ds3 is 14 and still plays with lego!

Probably making a goblet for his booze though 😚

DoNoTakeNo · 09/04/2025 17:50

Jeepers no!!
So many things can go wrong, it’s just not worth the risk.

NatashaFry · 09/04/2025 18:54

I wouldn't give other children alcohol because I'm not their parent and it's not up to me. It's up to their parents

GroovyChick87 · 09/04/2025 19:00

NatashaFry · 09/04/2025 18:54

I wouldn't give other children alcohol because I'm not their parent and it's not up to me. It's up to their parents

This is what it ultimately comes down to. You're solely responsible for anything that goes wrong otherwise.

Mielikki · 09/04/2025 19:02

arcticpandas · 09/04/2025 11:43

Tbh I would be really mad at you if you provided alcohol to my 15 y old son! I would have reported you to the police so just tell your dd that you are not willing to break the law.

Police wouldn’t be interested as it’s not an offence for children over the age of 5 to consume alcohol.

NatashaFry · 09/04/2025 19:03

GroovyChick87 · 09/04/2025 19:00

This is what it ultimately comes down to. You're solely responsible for anything that goes wrong otherwise.

Show quote history

I give my DS beer to have at home. But that's my choice as a parent for my child.

ForFunGoose · 09/04/2025 19:03

I wouldn’t provide but would turn a blind eye if some moderate drinking was happening.

arcticpandas · 09/04/2025 19:13

Mielikki · 09/04/2025 19:02

Police wouldn’t be interested as it’s not an offence for children over the age of 5 to consume alcohol.

Show quote history

Also : Anyone convicted of illegally supplying alcohol to someone under 18 would face a criminal record and could have to pay a substantial fine. This applies to people running or working in a pub or shop, a parent or guardian, or anyone else.

GroovyChick87 · 09/04/2025 19:15

NatashaFry · 09/04/2025 19:03

I give my DS beer to have at home. But that's my choice as a parent for my child.

Show quote history

Yeah, same with mine. The problem is if you're supplying it to others whose parents are against it, more so if one of them is sick or ends up passing out.

Mielikki · 09/04/2025 19:25

arcticpandas · 09/04/2025 19:13

Also : Anyone convicted of illegally supplying alcohol to someone under 18 would face a criminal record and could have to pay a substantial fine. This applies to people running or working in a pub or shop, a parent or guardian, or anyone else.

Show quote history

A parent providing alcohol at a party for free is not selling or proxy purchasing thus not committing any offence.

ooooohnoooooo · 09/04/2025 19:48

At that age I provided no alcohol but explained to DC that I knew people would bring it.

Beer /cider was fine but if I found anyone with spirits the party would be over instantly.

It worked because I meant it. 15 is too young for them to have proper control with spirits and I didn't want a house end garden full of vomit and drama.

I'm a liberal parent but spirits and young teenagers is a toxic mix, especially when you are the adult in charge.

Arutha · 09/04/2025 20:53

Not a chance! My wife had started letting my step-son have the odd can of beer at home when he was 14-15, but she'd have gone f###ing mental if she'd found out that he'd been supplied alcohol by a friends parents at a party.

arcticpandas · 09/04/2025 20:56

And if any of the kids get sick/have an accident/sexually abused? Alcohol and kids don't mix well. I can't believe how relaxed some are about this.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/04/2025 21:16

No, she needs to let her friends no no noise will be provided and they can chip in and bring some if they like but I wouldn't provide it for children this young. Provide lots of filling food like pizzas and soft drinks

fruitypancake · 09/04/2025 21:34

Not a chance - DS turning 15 soon

Switcher · 09/04/2025 21:36

Haha yeah sure, if you fancy cleaning piles of vomit out of the carpet. Because reality would be most wouldn't touch it and a handful would scarf the lot.

londongirl12 · 09/04/2025 21:39

Absolutely not, and as a parent I would be pissed off with you if my DS went to a party at your house and there was alcohol

anonymous11111111 · 20/04/2025 23:04

I think you should provide a bit as realistically it will be brought in one way or a another and if you provide good stuff that is closed and safer than open and possibly more harmful stuff it is better.

1SillySossij · 20/04/2025 23:41

I would not be plying 14 and 15 year olds with drink and would be seriously pissed off if their friends' parents did.

OneFineDay13 · 20/04/2025 23:43

There's no way kids at that age can handle alcohol and the effects it has on their body. Plus it's illegal don't let them please

crazyday24 · 20/04/2025 23:45

Absolutely not. My Son’s 18th was bad enough, the girls especially - it was quite worrying at one point!

Swipe left for the next trending thread