teenage party culture London

[SEmum1974]

How normal are drugs at teenage (14) parties? We moved to South London - from a smallish town with 14 year old DD earlier this year and I'm a bit shocked by the party culture here. DD was invited to a pre-new years party this evening and it seems apart from alcohol some teenagers also bring edibles and ketamine to these events. I don't know if this is usual or if she just made friends with the wrong people?

Whereabouts in South London are you? Tbh, that’s the sort of behaviour I would expect in London and is partly why we plan to leave London when DC are older.

The same behaviour can happen at a party anywhere tbh so it’s not a London specific thing, but is more likely in London and other big cities.

Near Dulwich. Maybe I'm just being naive I know they start trying things at that age, but it seemed a bit extreme to start so early.

14 is a bit young, otherwise that doesn't surprise me at all. Drugs are far more affordable than alcohol. Teenagers can't afford to get drunk so they get high.

I don't think it will be any different outside London. I live in a different city now and it's the same story.

Don’t hear of drugs in our circles but definitely booze and vapes.

It was like that in rural Sussex in the 1990s, so I don’t think it is particularly London! Just teenagers. Not everyone will be joining in.

Maybe we were just lucky before, I can't stop thinking we made a mistake moving here. Interesting that it's the same elsewhere

I remember people smoking dope (though older than fourteen), but it's the easy availability of chemical ones when they're so young that really worries me

I don't know if this is usual or if she just made friends with the wrong people?

I'd say the latter. We're a mile or so from Dulwich- in a less nice area - with a 14yo and older teen and haven't had anything like this. Although I had worse at that age growing up in a northern town. I'd say it's the group your DC has fallen in with and you don't have to go along with it if you're not happy to. 14 is still young enough for you to set boundaries and look out for her.

(To be clear - I'm not saying it's not a thing. Just that it's not some all encompassing party culture and at 14 plenty of her peers won't be doing those things. Some will, but she's not going to be some big outcast if you draw the line and save that stuff till she's older)

It depends on your child and their peer group. I've had several teenage children grow up in London and I'd say 14 is young for this sort of stuff, but it does happen in some years. Sixth form is more common I think. (My dd told me about one birthday party where the kid's parents provided the edibles....)

Thanks ❤. That's good to know. I definitely want to say no to parties from now on, and given that she was quite open about what was happening - I'm hoping we can encourage her to find friends elsewhere.

"wow" to the parents providing edibles - I don't think that was the case here.

It's a good sign she was able to talk to you about it. I went to parties from that age where some pkeole were doing drugs but I didn't do them. Or smoke. It depends how tough and sensible your dd is and whether her best friends are doing them.

It’s a good opportunity to talk to her about the potential harms of things like ketamine as there’s a growing problem with it nationally - and harms of cannabis of course - not least that edibles sometimes contain Spice (synthetic cannabis) which is much stronger.

Owen Bowden-Jones has written a good book called ‘The Drug Conversation’ aimed at parents in your situation.

just because she goes to the party doesn’t mean she’ll take any. Practising some refusal skills might be important.

London teenagers here - no not ubiquitous and dependent on friend group. On a non-scientific sample, I would say more druggie parties at private schools than state (more cash, bigger houses and ‘cool’ parents).

Oh and vice has a good video about ketamine called ‘pissing blood’ which it might be a good idea to watch with her
m.youtube.com/watch?v=99XQY7Elwhc

Totally depends on the child and peer group. My dd at 15yo had a party and there were soooo many drugs. Fags, weed,alcohol, nitrous oxide, mdma, ketamine. Could NOT believe it.

Other dd (16yo) won't touch alcohol or drugs or ANYTHING. Won't even have a party

Live in the Cotswold's.

I would say it's quite usual wherever you live tbh.

Research ketamine bladder so many young people have this and attend my pain clinic there is bugger all treatment for it. Research it and send to her. She needs facts

We all took speed (couldn’t afford ecstasy at that point, it was £15 a pill, but older kids definitely did). And mushrooms, and LSD. Not just weed.

Definitely not the norm in our corner of London! My 14 Yr old is pretty worldly-wise but I think she'd be shocked by what you're describing. I'm sure it's just a matter of time though:(

South London here - I know this goes on in my daughters school but she doesn't get involved.

I hear and see some stuff about kids in her year and former primary school and their Snapchat profiles that I wish I didn't.

Thanks London teenagers :-) , that's really interesting - there were both private and state school kids at the party I think (and I think the network is both). But definitely sounded like big house. That night explain some of it, I did think where did they get the money?

Really depends on the circle..

14 is young for ketamine! A bit of weed around here at that age but that’s it. We’re in rural Gloucestershire. None of the kids I know who are 14-15 do anything more than weed. Sixth form is where ecstasy/mushrooms start.

id say it’s the friends rather than the area. Make sure she has a get out to text you to come and get her, no questions asked. That way if she feels uncomfortable she can text you asking how aunt Mabel is or the cat. Or even just one letter. And you know she wants to come home but can’t be seen to ask.