teenage party culture London

[SEmum1974]

How normal are drugs at teenage (14) parties? We moved to South London - from a smallish town with 14 year old DD earlier this year and I'm a bit shocked by the party culture here. DD was invited to a pre-new years party this evening and it seems apart from alcohol some teenagers also bring edibles and ketamine to these events. I don't know if this is usual or if she just made friends with the wrong people?

Those who partook themselves when younger (or maybe even still do) so are more laid back / realistic, how do you talk to your teens about drugs? I want to be there for any fall out and times they might need help (whether looking after whilst out of it or simply a lift home) so want them to feel able to come to me. I genuinely feel as though I won't be angry or disappointed but I obviously can't let on without encouraging them and giving them a green light.

It's not just London.

Ketamine etc are also taken at parties in quiet Norfolk villages!

Drugs are often cheaper than alcohol and easier to obtain. My DCs go to parties where they’re available but don’t want to get involved in them.
Ket is a horrible drug - please educate your DC about it and the consequences of it.

I hear stories from Somerset about allllllll the drugs. I don't think this is a London thing.
If anything, I think the city is a protective factor as there are other things to do and other people to hang out with for kids who aren't into drinking or drugs. In a small town there is very little else to do.

From what I hear Dulwich has a big party scene with a concentration of private schools which are close to large state schools. That said it all depends on the friends so it’s not impossible to avoid.

This is shocking and depressing.

Is it just me that feels letting a teen go to a party where there is ketamine is madness?

If I know thats going on, my teen won't be going. No discussion

My 18 year old is central London and hasn’t even smoked weed. It’s all down to the individual not the city

Its all over the place and many of the kids bringing it will be runners or involved in the drug trade to some degree and being exploited

The whole trade is dangerous for children but it will be seen as just something kids do

My siblings live in rural coastal idyll.

The teen drug use is off the scale.

They have little to do, drugs are widely available everywhere, and to make matters worse, because there is no public transport they all learn to drive at 17, get cheap cars, and drive like lunatics round country lanes.

3 teens from the school my brother teaches in have been killed this year.

Meanwhile my S London teens are busy and engaged in loads of (free) extra curricular projects and live within walking distance of friends, and have free bus travel.

This is a very short sighted opinion.

My daughters are Y13/Y9 at same school. Y13 barely drinks, don't believe her friends do much either. One had a strictly no alcohol party for her 17th and at 18 still doesn't.

The youngest has friends who vape (and have from Y8 if not earlier) and drink - I know parents supplied drink to one at least.

It's friendship circle. I worry much more about the youngest!

I grew up in the home counties and my friends were all taking drugs from about 14 onwards. I never got involved though and didn't smoke cigarettes with them either. I assume it is the crowd your daughter has fallen in with but please remember she might not be interested and hopefully they won't be be the type to pressure her into, just as my friends weren't.

You don’t have to let your child go to these things though. I have15 year old and I would never let him go to something like that.

I just a BBC article on this after reading your comment, Jesus! I had no idea. It’s absolutely horrific.

I know people who grew up in very poor seaside towns, and drug use was rife, partly because those are the places where a lot of drugs were brought in to the country, plus there was nothing else for them to do except drink, which cost more. It’s definitely not just a big city phenomena.

OMG ketamine bladder. That’s horrific

Like many things with teens, it is largely down to luck and their friendship groups plus their own attitude to risk. I’d say my S London teens are both much less exposed to this than my nephews in rural Somerset, as it is everywhere geographically but also only if you go to those parties. I asked my own DS16 about it and bless him, he asked me what an edible was. His younger brother will know via more streetwise friendship groups but I don’t think he would have tried any or really come across them in person.

Alcohol seems very prevalent at house parties and at parks gatherings despite what you might read about the sober generation.

As others have said it’s a great sign you can talk about it all openly.

You really wouldn't believe the amount of suicidal 18 - 20 year old who come to see me with ketamine bladder. It really is awful. And all they say is this is the comeuppance they get from drugs. It's sad. No pain meds work as ketamine is the strongest and they can't have that or opiates there really is no treatment.

We are commutable to London and I know there is all sorts going on here so not just London . Very much depends on the child and their peers though - my older one is a nerd and knows what’s going on just not invited .

It really isn't like that everywhere. Most 14 year olds I know do not attend these kind of house parties. I think you should be concerned about who your dd is hanging out with.

Goodness - clearly this is friendship group dependent. My 16 year old inner city London based teen and his friends don't even have parties!

Yes my older one is too - maybe this why we avoided it before - not because of where we were 🤔. From experience, nerds have the best time at uni though 🙂.

I would say your child has fallen in the wrong crowd. What school do they go to? I would say this is not unique to London.

Interesting how different everyone's experiences in London are and how widespread it also can be beyond. It was a bit of a shock to me, but it sounds like its something we might have had to deal with wherever we are. And we'll have to keep talking to her and about her friendship circle.

I'm still digesting the couple of posts about parents sometimes providing drugs 😶. And 'wow' the ketamine bladder info - that was new to me I hadn't really thought about it before, it seemed like another world.

There seem to be quite frequent here - there's always talk of someone or other 'hosting'