Is it unreasonable for an 18 year old to get kicked out for not paying rent?

[Meowmeow2008]

So I talked to my parents about not wanting to contribute to Christmas dinner. I'm at home today because I was sick. My dad (not biological if that matters but he's been in my life for a while) mentioned that he'd charge more rent when I'm 18. I plan to stay in education at 18 too so I mentioned that and said ok, if I can afford to pay more when i'm 18 then fair enough. And then he added that he'd just kick me out if I wouldn't pay. I already pay board for context but I'm gonna be honest, I've been thinking about leaving my job because I'm in college and want to focus on that, it's getting hard to keep up with a part time job. I really don't want to talk to them about that because it might disappoint them or ill get shit talked by extended family for being lazy.

I kinda feel disturbed by that. My mum probably wouldn't be that blunt about it and I don't know if she knew that he'd say that either. She's generally pretty supportive. Like she was very supportive when I got sectioned a year ago and helped me with some mental health issues (i've never been violent or anything BTW, I know some people think that mental health equals violent behaviour but it was more self harm/suicide and eating disorder related).

I want to talk to an adult outside of my family about this but I'm unsure if its just a usual falling out thing with him. Also idk if it's worth bringing up to my mum, she might already know anyways. I'm getting kinda anxious, he wasn't being rude and he literally never shouts at me because I'm pretty well behaved and I thought he liked me. I'm also wondering if his actual point was fair because ik I'd be an adult at 18 too.

I can't believe that your parents charge you board when you are still in full time education, I have a DD17 and would not dream of doing it! They sound very grabby to me!

Your stepfather doesn't sound very nice. If your family is struggling for money, then I understand why they might ask for a contribution, but threatening to kick you out at 18 if you don't pay is horrible.

I have a 19yo. No plans to charge her rent any time soon and no way on earth would I even contemplate just kicking her out.

Can you talk to someone in college about your family situation?

No I don’t think that’s normal. We have always had a rule that if studying, then they don’t pay rent.

I'm pretty sure I won't be kicked out while under 18 if i stop paying board, theyre not cruel and i think thatd be illegal, they'd just be disappointed which is something I want to avoid

Edit: I'm more worried about turning 18 and honestly not looking forward to it tbh but right now the most shit I'd get from my family are just from the extended relatives

Do you mean you don’t want to contribute financially to Christmas dinner? Fair enough, I would expect parents to host for free whether you are living at home or not at this age.

Your step dad sounds very harsh and unkind. Is money extremely tight at home?

Have a word with your mum, ask her what’s going on. It sounds like she needs to step in here.

I would keep the part time job, honestly, jus in case you do need to suddenly support yourself. Is there another family member you could stay with if you ever needed to?

No I don't think you should be paying rent. If you have a part-time job and money is tight at home I think you could make a small contribution towards food. Though most parents wouldn't expect this. I synpathise.

I think it would be helpful to have a frank financial discussion with them before you make decisions about post 18 education, so you know where you stand. A lot of parents would say this (and it might have been how they were parented) but only a few would follow it through. However, you need to think about how you would support yourself as an adult if the situation at home breaks down. It's shitty and you shouldn't have to deal with it but better to plan ahead. It might be wise to keep your job and save for a deposit in case you need one.

I have an 18yo and he pays no board because he’s in education. My 21 year old at uni pays no board either. When the 21 year old took a gap year before uni she paid for her expenses like car, petrol, insurance etc but she was working full time and agreed that it was fair.

How many hours do you work in your part-time job? How much do they take from your wages?

I couldn’t and wouldn’t do what your mother and stepfather are doing unless you were working full time and not in education. The age 18 cut off is arbitrary if your birthday isn’t in the summer after exams too.

It is not normal to charge a 17 yo rent.

It does sound like you are in a vulnerable position and you should definitely talk to your mum about it, not least to see if it’s a united front on their part or whether she is on your side.

from experience there is very little support at your age as child services write you off as you’re nearly an adult and as you’re in education you don’t qualify for adult benefits etc.

you should also talk to someone at college as they may have funds to help with meals etc.

hope it doesn’t come to this but might be worth checking out.
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it’s a difficult one re the job as I know it’s hard for you to do both but if you can keep your source of income it might help you in the longer term.

good luck

Ps if your extended family aren’t positive influences on your life they don’t get a vote and their opinion doesn’t matter.

This is very sad. I think you should talk to your mum as surely she would want to support you to do well in your exams, if at all possible. Idk anyone who charges board to their teenager who is still in school full time. How many hours are you working and when will you be finished college?

My 17 yo has just given up his part-time job to focus on his A-levels, which are in May/June 2025. He was only working one full weekend day and his school doesn’t recommend working any more than 8 hours total a week at this point in the year, and only if absolutely necessary.

Well done for all you have achieved so far and can I just say that learning to deal with MH struggles early will stand you in good stead as you go through life, in my experience. Best of luck xx

Oh yh more info: they make like 80k together as far as i know but i think that's before tax, I think that's good outside of London (don't want to add more details about where I live in case someone i know finds this 😭) but they've been talking about the cost of living and whatnot and ik things are expensive. My parents are not abusive or anything, just maybe a little strict but I still have a lot of freedom

Some replies aren't showing up also but I talked to one of my friends about it

I don’t think it’s okay for them to be this strict or have this level of expectation of a 17 year old ( or 18 year old young adult)

Try and have a chat with your mum but do it calmly.

My kids will live with me as long as they want, if they can afford to pay rent at some point then great but I wouldn’t be demanding it and no one would be kicked out.

If you are feeling down try and have a chat with your GP too.

Take care x

They still get child benefit for you, they shouldn't be charging your rent at all whilst you're in full time education. Have you looked to see if you could get any benefits if you moved out at 18? Entitled to is a good website for checking. How much do they charge?

I wouldn't charge my DC rent if they were in full time education and that goes for them now at the age of 22.

I would talk to your mother and stepfather again about this. If you can't pay the rent where do they expect you to live? I don't think many landlords will want to rent to a just turned 18 year old,

I have always regarded my DC's education as a priority. It is their chance at a financially stable future and being able to spend the next 40 - 50 years in a job they love. I would hope your mother would prioritise you getting the best qualifications you can, as early as you can, for similar reasons. Once you are financially settled that is the time to ask for contributions not now when juggling a part time job and your education could jeopardize your grades.

It’s really unusual to ask someone who is still technically a child to pay rent/board. Once you are an adult I think it’s fair to charge but how much would very much depend on whether you are working full time or still in education. My oldest is your age and has a part time job whilst in Y13 - he pays the costs of running his car but that’s it. We’re expecting to be bankrolling him even more whilst he’s at university. You need to have the conversation now because if you are planning to go to university you will only get minimum maintenance loan at that sort of household income and the expectation is parents top up to around the full loan (about £6k a year difference). If they don’t do that you need to declare parental estrangement to qualify for full maintenance loans. I think it also depends if you are paying a small contribution because ‘nothing in life is free’ and they are trying to gradually shift you towards independence, or if they are actually putting you into financial difficulties and affecting your studies.

Your mum and step dad will receive child benefit until the end of the academic year. If this isn't an AI post you need to speak to someone in college about your hone situation.

I think they are financially and emotionally abusive.

Your step dad should NEVER have threatened to kick you onto the streets when you are struggling with serious mental health issue OR in full time education.

This gave me chills, my parents were similar and I was kicked out at 17 a few weeks before my 18th birthday all because I too wanted to continue my education. I had also been working and paying rent & board.

They also used disappointment with “well I would have expected more/better”. The sighs and even the jokes “whatever will we do with you? You’re as useful as a chocolate teapot…”

All this was really to get me to give up on my dream to go to University by making life so so so difficult Id never get the grades.

I hope your mum will stand up for you. If she doesn’t, don’t stop there go to your school’s pastoral care and tell them what is going on. If you still have CAMHS- tell them that PT work is too much pressure for your MH.

Do you have someone you can talk to at school/college about this?
I would definitely speak to a tutor/counsellor/student welfare person (whoever you have at college) about this. You need some emotional support plus practical advice around this issue.

Idk I'm assuming they'd want me to rent from somewhere else. I did consider going to my biological father's house then but he has anger issues and had issues with domestic violence (in the past only and not towards me, he's probably not violent right now as its been a while). I'd honestly consider that as an option if my dad ends up still being serious about the kicking me out at 18 thing. I'm worried that maybe she'd agree with him only because he brought it up first and she doesnt argue with him a lot + because she tells me about how she had to support her siblings at 16 and left the house and sent them money monthly at 18.

Ive not had to deal with camhs ever since I got discharged basically, they followed up a few months after and that was it. I could talk to someone at college about it though. Also I really dont think they're abusive but I think it's more like trying to teach a lesson because they were doing this stuff at my age. But im really not looking forward to turning 18 now and I think I might have to give up on uni too. Idk they don't discourage it and they tell me they want me to be educated but I'm not really sure what they actually want. I have some time left to think because I'm 16 but yeah, I wouldve liked to focus on studying more but I don't think they'd have enough to support me enough in uni either

I think that under the age of 21 you would not get state support towards rent. I remember that when Mhari Black MP made her maiden speech she highlighted that because she was elected at the age of 20 and therefore qualified for housing allowance that she was the only 20 year old in the country to qualify for any such help.

I hope that you are able to progress with your planned studies and get support from friends and wider family.

Your step dad had no right to raise this without your mum there. Talk with your mum about it.

Unless they are really skint you should not be paying rent/board whilst in education. Ridiculous.

Don't give up your education x

I only asked my daughter to contribute once she was earning and then she was making more than me! My son is at uni and lives in accommodation paid for by a student loan, he came home to work and save last summer and we didn’t expect him to pay digs. That would be regardless of age.

So no, I don’t think you should be paying rent, I think your studies are more important.

Please go and speak to sometimes college. Your mother and stepfather appear to be financially and emotionally abusive.