DD17 asked for new boyfriend to stay overnight

[Flyhigher]

They've known each other about 2 months.
First date.
And she's asked for him to stay overnight.
As travel back home takes ages.

I'm not keen it's too soon.
What do you guys think?

No way. First date? He's a stranger surely?
Only long term partners get to stay over here...

Nope, back he goes.

Our house rule with same age teens is only when it's an established relationship of 6 months plus. And then we still reserve the right to say no if we are not comfortable with that particular person staying over. We have never said no in these circumstances, but have made clear this is the case.

Nope. Longer term partners welcome overnight, not new ones or randoms.

Staying over in her room, too.soon imo but I'd be happy letting him.stay on the sofa or in the spare room.if getting home was genuinely an issue.

in The spare room, yes.

That would be a no from me

The additional issue with this is that if it’s so difficult for him to get home surely every time they go out this is going to happen and if you let him stay once it will become the norm. He’ll be moved in by default in a month.

6 months of dating would be my rule. This boy is a random stranger, you haven't even met him. He needs to be around in the day time and come over for a lunch so you can chat to him. But 6 months before staying over in my house.

No way. This is basically a stranger. Surely bare minimum you all need to know someone well enough to have a vague idea that he’s a reasonable person before allowing him access to your home while you all sleep?!

No. It’s their first date, they don’t need to jump in to staying In the same bed!

tell her it’s not off the cards in the future but for now it’s a no.

It would be "No, and don't ask again" from me.

I’m surprised so many hard nos.

my DD started college about 1.5 hours away in Sept. So her new friends from college are people she’s known 2 months. Some of them live a similar distance from college in the opposite direction. If she were to suggest one of them staying over in the spare room I wouldn’t have any concerns with it

She's pushing for it a lot.
My view is 6 months too.
Her view is now.
No way she will wait 6 months. She will go to his instead and be angry.

No problem with friends staying over.

BF is a bit different.

Helppp! Bump bump.

I think for a first date he can stay in a spare room/sofa. I'd want it to be a few more encounters before sharing a bed but tbh if they can legally sleep together I'd rather it be in my home than elsewhere and if it looks like lasting, I wouldn't demand months and months before allowing it.

First date? Nope, they can do as we did and arrange to meet halfway surely? Then if the date goes well and they meet again and a few more times after than then no problem to stay over.

If this first date goes badly and/or he’s a creep she needs to be able to get away from him. She can’t do that if they’re under the same roof - separate rooms or not.

He will be living here soon. Sigh.

Does anyone know the talking and dating stages?

2-3 months of talking (messaging then moving to FaceTime), then a date, then if it goes well a few more dates.

He doesn’t get to live with you if you don’t want him to.

5 hour calls apparently and a date.

Is this a situation where they have been friends for two months which has now turned into a romantic relationship? If so he's not really a stranger to her and also not unusual for it to progress to sleeping together relatively quickly, they are almost adults.

My DS of the same age had his girlfriend to stay from about 6 weeks. We have set ground rules around how often but I didn't really see why it should be an issue. Ultimately it isn't up to someone's parents to decide when is too soon for them to have sex with someone, that is up to them. If you don't want it happening in your house that is up to you but you are unlikely to stop it happening at all.

She will want him to stay over a lot I would think.

I think she will wait a bit before sex. I hope so.