DS’s girlfriend is pregnant.

[Mondayblues6]

DS is 17 years old and his girlfriend is 16. They have been sleeping together a few months. I talked to him about contraception but he told me his girlfriend was not keen keen to go on the pill but they used condoms. Today he he told me that his girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant. They are both very upset. They have already told his girlfriend’s mum and she has arranged for her to have an abortion. My son’s girlfriend is so upset that she will never get over this and that she is doing the wrong thing. My son is being very supportive and has told his girlfriend that he will support any decision she makes. My son is so sad and responsible that this happened. I have given him a hig and told him I will be there for them both. What else can I do?

Unsurprisingly it HAS developed a male pill. But it was canned, despite being highly effective.

The reason for this was because of the side effects.
Increased chances of blood clots, reported depression, weight gain, mood swings and acne.

Would be comical if it wasn't so fucking tragic.

Well so far he hasn’t got anybody pregnant, so I must be doing something right. (He’s at an age when he could but he couldn’t support them).

Someone said it’s barely an embryo, I’m asking if it’s barely an embryo why do people get upset and receive sympathy when they have a miscarriage in early stages…

It’s not about preaching abstinence, it’s about developing children’s self-worth so they don’t turn to sex to fill a void.

For now, just sit back, stay quiet and hope she goes through with the abortion.

if she does, suggest your son should help her during recovery. Help bring school work back and forth if she misses school, bring her a favorite takeaway meal, etc. just generally make himself useful so she can rest.

if she doesn’t, well let’s hope that doesn’t happen. If it does, i would start by making sure he gets a part-time job asap.

Here’s an interesting angle.

go back to the OPs post, and instead of ‘pregnancy’, replace it with ‘drugs’.

the OPs son and girlfriend went to a party and overdosed on drugs. So they needed emergency care and now they have the hangover from hell. The OP made them a fry up and an allá seltzer and a big hug, and told them that eating before taking alcohol and drugs makes the hangovers a lot less hellish.

how else could she support her son?

Because we are capable of complex feelings and reactions as humans and are not fucking thick like Trump and his ilk.

Sorry to miss your point entirely for second but how and more to the point WHY did you know when they started having sex? That's a bit weird. I categorically did not and still do not, discuss my sex life with my parents

Speechless.

Medicine hates women doesn't it.

I can't believe the choice is there but isn't accessible.

What an utterly disgusting and disgraceful thing to say

Because they have a closer relationship with their kids than you and your parents?

Are you volunteering to fully support two teens & a baby emotionally, financially and practically??

I think you are doing everything you can and wonderfully supportive. 💐 They are both lucky to have such great support on both sides.

Because you grieve the future child you wanted. You aren't grieving a group of cells, you are grieving your dreams of a baby.

Often because they really wanted a baby. Sometimes it's hormonal. I miscarried and was not at all sad but did feel weird for quite while, difficult to explain the feeling other than that. It eventually passed and I almost never think of it now.

The op's son's girlfriend will get over it but her mother needs to back off so that it is solely the girl's decision, otherwise she might be blamed for a long time.

The important thing is for it not to happen again. She is very young to be allowed to sleep with her boyfriend at his house, even by today's standards.

Just to put the other side, my son’s girlfriend decided to keep the baby In similar circumstances and there wasn’t anything that my DS could do once she made up her mind. I’ts always the woman’s choice and I am not a rabid anti abortionist I had one myself in my 20’s but a baby is not the end of the world. Their relationship fizzled out unsurprisingly but my son still sees his now 8yr old child EOW and extra in the holidays and also if his ex needs him to and yes he paid CMS even though it wasn’t much from his apprenticeship wages to start with. We are lucky to have a good relationship with his ex as well.

No but they should be emotionally and financially be able to deal with the consequences.

it’s bonkers that sex is not given the respect it deserves. Having sex is great, it’s a human being privilege, but children are not taught the respect and maturity that having sex represents, just because physically one can have sex, it doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do at that moment.

This situation really makes me wonder.
When this happens to a male who is a clear adult we all say well, if you don’t want to take responsibility for a child then don’t have sex because there is always a chance. I don’t know what happened here but they presumably made an error in their use of the condom or failed to use it, maybe not but generally if used correctly the failure rate is low…but there!
I have never supported or even considered the teenage abstinence approach.
But it’s confusing, because with so many people definitively saying they are much too young to be parents…are they then too young to be having sex?

16 and 17 year olds are still children, and it seems you deliberately 'misunderstood' my teacher's saying. You say "another" baby, she was referring to a first pregnancy/baby. Besides, she was referring to maturity and responsibility, and trying to teach us to wait until we're ready, obviously directed at school pupils and not 40 year old adults 🙄

@Fluufer Where does it say OP's DS & girlfriend are unemployed?

My grandson(17) and his girlfriend(15) were asked by the social worker whether the baby was planned they both said no! So she replied, so you were using contraceptives then? No, well baby was planned then! She was 16 by the time our darling great-grandaughter was born. They split up recently and the baby will be one soon. He has her 3 days a week the cot is in his room. He feeds and changes her and is working all the hours he can to support her. My daughter looks after her whilst he is at work and his work have been amazing about him working around the hours/days he works so he only needs his mum to have her for half a day. For them it is working.

Poor things

I couldnt not agree more ! I don't think abortion is a quick fix either, pregnant as a teen it's not the end of the world kids are miracles, people will constantly assume you will ruin your life etc but that's nonsense in my eyes, my son is a wonderful man at 18 years old now and I could not be any prouder I'm 36 with a wonderful career as a therapist everyone just assumes having children young ruins everything-but if you have the drive to want better for you and your child age means sweet f all .money means nothing love is what does 😊. I think it's important here that the op speaks with her about the good and bad cause it's only all bad if you allow it to be that as it doesn't sound as though she is going to get both sides from the support around her and needs to as you said about bad examples she needs to be aware if the good aswell 🦋🩷

Very sad, emotive time with a rollercoaster of emotions. My heart goes out to you all; you are a very kind, caring mum.
As terribly painful as it is, love and support will help with the journey. It is essential that GF receives some form of appropriate counselling. I am very sorry that you are all having to deal with this

Batshit crazy responses from some posters claiming that a teen who has an abortion may have future fertility issues.
And then of course the loony pro lifers
Thank goodness she has a sensible mum.