DS’s girlfriend is pregnant.

[Mondayblues6]

DS is 17 years old and his girlfriend is 16. They have been sleeping together a few months. I talked to him about contraception but he told me his girlfriend was not keen keen to go on the pill but they used condoms. Today he he told me that his girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant. They are both very upset. They have already told his girlfriend’s mum and she has arranged for her to have an abortion. My son’s girlfriend is so upset that she will never get over this and that she is doing the wrong thing. My son is being very supportive and has told his girlfriend that he will support any decision she makes. My son is so sad and responsible that this happened. I have given him a hig and told him I will be there for them both. What else can I do?

Oh ffs.

There was no mention of God in the post you’re replying to?

If that’s true then I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s a shame when girls feel the only way to feel worthy is to have sex. Happens in adults as well. So often on mumsnet you read of women having babies with completely unsuitable men.

Instead of sex education children should be taught self-esteem education.

Because a lot of us grew up in care and abusive homes. We had sex to feel loved. Or we were drunk and on drugs and taken advantage of.

It sounds like you've had a very stable life, but many of us did not.

I had an abortion. No regrets. Went on to be infertile due to endometriosis. Still no regrets.

Adopted my beautiful son. Life turned out more amazing than I ever could have imagined. No regrets ever.

They are not children and I'm 40 and certainly not ready to have another baby

You asked what else can you do, rather than people's opinions on teenage pregnancies and abortions!

You are doing a lot right.
He told you & he trusts you. ( A lot of teenagers might hid it).
You are being supportive and are dealing with it rationally.

Maybe not now, but a double contraception and also using them properly (a lot of teenagers don't leave space for air at the top and they burst as a result). You'll know when the time is right.

He is lucky to have you.

So no sympathy for people who miscarry then?

We need more than that. We need parents to take parenting classes. No amount of classes will fix a child's self esteem while being abused.

They are not children

She's sixteen.

Children should be taught both as both are important

Of course, it’s a self fulfilling circle. Children copy the behaviour they are surrounded by.

but society is not helping - look at all those shows where big tits and lips is something to aspire to. Modern society has got its priorities all wrong.

Where did anyone say this? I've had miscarriages and was heartbroken.

Still not the same as my abortion.

One I was a married, financially stable adult.
My abortion I was an unstable very unwell child.

Is there still a pregnancy choices board? OP you might want to move this - abortion threads attract the religious right and I’m not sure they’ve really got the best interests of the people involved at heart… too busy opining on the lords work and informing us mortals that they only had sex when they were the most ready and mature it’s possible to be, and married to boot.

How about abstinence? Doesn’t sound like they are in care and looked after by drug abusing alcoholics, so no need to get ‘love’ from sex? I’d be seriously questioning myself if my son made somebody pregnant when he’s of ANY age when he’s not able to deal with it.

The OP was not seeking to ask advice for the Gf on termination: the Gf had made her decision and her Mim has made arrangements accordingly.

The OP is asking if there is more she can do to support her son.

That’s all!

Ah, the religious right have come to save our souls.

Definitely the right choice for young kids that age. I would put her on the pill or something else after that too.

Not necessarily married or in a partnership, just be able to financially look after the child. I say bravo to women and men who do it alone, plenty of my relatives have. But if you know having a child is going to mess you up, then just don’t risk it. Im not against abortion (medical, rape, abuse, etc), but as a contraception just because it’s an option it is not OK.

All I can say is your poor son.

I hope he has someone less judgment to turn to if he ever finds himself in any sort of difficult situation.

I had an abortion at 17 and I have never regretted it. I'm so thankful that option was available to me. I sometimes reflect on it but I never feel sad about it or wonder if I did the right thing- I know I did the right thing.

@AllHisCaterpillarFriends She could use a cap or a copper coil. Hormonal contraception doesn’t suit everyone, my DD likes the Pill because it’s shortened her periods and she definitely doesn’t want to get pregnant right now.

1. a massive bollok**ing for him. At 17 he should know better.

1. grounded until he could financially support a pregnant girlfriend.

Young people have sex for a whole host of reasons, just like adults. Filling a void, coercion, being in love, enjoying their bodies, etc.

Preaching abstinence to young people that are old enough to legally have sex is naive at best, neglectful at worst. Discussing a range of options from double contraception to only doing it if it’s right for you would be a lot more pragmatic and equips them better for whatever situation they may face.

I don't have any advice, but well done to both families for having raised kids who are so honest with you

Poster had previously invoked the Almighty.