DS’s girlfriend is pregnant.

[Mondayblues6]

DS is 17 years old and his girlfriend is 16. They have been sleeping together a few months. I talked to him about contraception but he told me his girlfriend was not keen keen to go on the pill but they used condoms. Today he he told me that his girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant. They are both very upset. They have already told his girlfriend’s mum and she has arranged for her to have an abortion. My son’s girlfriend is so upset that she will never get over this and that she is doing the wrong thing. My son is being very supportive and has told his girlfriend that he will support any decision she makes. My son is so sad and responsible that this happened. I have given him a hig and told him I will be there for them both. What else can I do?

Factual information is always helpful in every situation. Being aware of the facts is how informed choices are made.

Absolutely this!

It soubds harsh but I’m glad she’s going down the sensible route and having an abortion.

She can have counselling and can get pregnant again but she doesn’t get to have her teenage and young adult life back.

I had my DD young and although I love her so much, I also missed out on a lot of things and life is harder because I had to work harder than most people my age.

Hopefully this would have scared your son into using extra protection.

My mother always told me "if you get pregnant as a teen, don't think I'll be looking after it, you'll have to move out and cope on your own". She also told me how hard SHE found it, having 2 kids as a married mum in her 30s. Not to mention how horrendous childbirth was. That's tough love.

I don't think "don't worry honey, we'll support you whatever" is helpful. Tell them they have fucked up big style and they either have an abortion or grow the fuck up overnight, quit school, get a job and move out. Point out how much rent is and how much childcare costs. Life is not a bloody fairytale. Get real. There are married professional couples out there who can't afford to have a child.

@AgileGreenSeal
The new human being is already there in the womb of the 16 year old.
He or she is what the abortion will destroy.

I rarely post on these kinds of issues, but you should be aware that a 6-week pregnancy is not yet a human being.

It' s a tiny cluster of cells and 1:4 pregnancies end, sadly but naturally, in miscarriage before 12 weeks.

Your emotionally-charged use of words is not achieving much.

No, it’s a cluster of cells. It’s very far from being a human being yet.

You need to get your facts straight if you're going to post like this.

This is not yet a human being. It's an embryo that might survive to become a foetus.

Science? Says the pro-life Catholic/Christian...

At 6 weeks, the embryo is barely fucking visible. There's a decent chance it could end in what is essentially a heavy period.

@AgileGreenSeal is the sort of person who would insist the pregnant teen "look at the baby on the ultrasound" before aborting it.

I imagine her sitting there posting from Alabama where that is the law.

Look, these kids have fucked up. Help them undo it as best you can.

@AgileGreenSeal Before pregnancy tests were so accurate when used early, most women didn't have a confirmed pregnancy till the 8th or 9th week.

Many- 1:4 - had an early miscarriage and never even knew they were pregnant.

Women make their own choices and you need to stop 'preaching' and telling them what to think based on your own beliefs.

Being sad about having an abortion does not mean it's the wrong thing. It's a hard thing to do. Being sad is normal and in fact a healthy reaction that will help her leave this behind and the same for him too.

The clinic will talk to her about contraception afterwards but you should do the same. They've had one failure, they really need to double up on methods now.

It's not a baby then. It's a fetus. Something that couldn't live outside the woman's body. Not a being in its own right.

Facts

Of course we are talking about a human being. And the actual “problem” under discussion is that this particular human being is alive and growing. At 6 weeks of pregnancy his or her heart is beating, the brain and organs are developing.

My language isn’t emotional. It’s scientific.

Facts matter, especially when life impacting decisions are being made.
Informed choice is a good thing.

Don’t engage the 😇

I never said “baby”.

But without controversy the living and growing being in this 16 year olds womb is human.

Facts.

Facts do matter. It is legal to destroy embros up to a certain time period past gestation. . That is the one fact that matters here.

Sorry but you're posting opinion. Not science @AgileGreenSeal

If you know anything about pregnancy at all, you should know that the term 'human being' is NOT applied to an embryo that is barely 2 weeks old.

Do you actually understand how the weeks of pregnancy are counted?

You're spouting the emotional guff that pro-lifers try to force down women's throats, to make them feel guilty.

What do you hope to achieve by all of this?

Facts matter, especially when life impacting decisions are being made.
Informed choice is a good “

Why do you assume that OP’s son and his gf are uninformed, @AgileGreenSeal ?

Yes, it is legal to destroy them.

In fact it’s legal to destroy them right up to birth in certain circumstances.

@Secradonugh in fact, it's legal to abort right up until birth if the mother's life is in danger or the foetus is severely disabled. Enormously rare to have an abortion after 24 weeks but sometimes it's the least worst option. (Esp if the mother has existing children or the baby will suffer when born)

Spot on. In retrospect I’m pretty sure I had a miscarriage when I was 17 when the only pregnancy test available was via the GP. My period was about three weeks late and the heaviest I’ve ever had. No sign of a little human being, just lots of blood.

So your problem is what, @AgileGreenSeal ?

And?

Are you proposing the law should be changed?

That YOU decide how women decide what to do?

Let’s all be thankful that we live in a country where religion is kept away from legislation and abortion is free and freely available to any girl or woman that requires one.

I assumed no such thing.

I’m discussing the situation with others on a message board where information is naturally helpful.

Amen to that