DC 14yo wants an Iphone!

[DamnUserName21]

Just a vent really.

My 14yo has been nagging me, bombarding me, arguing with me, throwing strops, tears and the odd tantrum because she wants me to get her a £600 Iphone on finance through Apple. She said she'd give up her allowance (which is more than the monthly payment) and will do more chores to pay for it.

The thing is - we aren't an Iphone family. I don't buy into all the new or Apple tech. DC is generally unspoiled and not into gadgets and 'stuff' and does not usually ask for much. She has a Samsung currently, which was second-hand from another family member as she broke her previous mobile.

I'm at my wits end and find it all so wearying. I don't know -- am I being unreasonable? I just find a 14yo with an expensive mobile phone so unnecessary. Plus the chances of damage are high!

For those of you that have been through this--what are your experiences? How did you handle things?

If they are shedding tears, throwing strops, and having tantrums because they want an expensive new phone - then they probably aren't mature, and responsible enough, to be trusted with an expensive new phone, as that behaviour only demonstrates they are still immature. Sorry to negative.

All the 14 year olds I know have an iphone. I expect most of friends do too.

It is true that most kids have them now. I don't think I'd have a huge issue with this if realistically she could forgo that much allowance to pay for it without nagging for more money.

We've started off with Samsungs and just allowed an iPhone which I think should last a fair few years.

I think people are being a bit harsh, it's hardly controlling to not want to spend £600 on credit for a 14 year old. You don't need the latest phone when you are that age, you have to wait until you are old enough to earn the money to pay for it yourself - having to live within your means is just a fact of life!

I'd go for an older model on a cheap mobile contract, you can get an iPhone 12 for £24.49 a month with Tesco, that might fit in pocket money realms? We had long conversations about whether our daughter really wanted to give up pocket money for 2 years, but that's what she chose in the end.

Possibly a reconditioned one? I've seen some reasonable (ish!) ones around.

‘Such focus on not being an Iphone family!’

Obviously, yes, since that was the reason you wrote in your OP for not wanting to get her it. Not that you cannot afford it. 🥴

Genuine question as I've always chosen a phone cheaper than an iPhone.....but what makes them better than other brands?

I know when they first came out they did seem to be in a league of their own... but are other phones "catching up?" (I liken it to the Nike vapourfly/alphafly carbon plate trainers...for a long time they were the only option if you wanted that type of shoes. Now just about all the rival brands are making their own versions and there is more competition....)

Admittedly I wouldn't buy the latest or highest spec of any brand of phone...but are iPhone tangibly better...?

Give them the iPhone so they can see for themselves they will get bored of all this stuff eventually and they will regret acting so bratty about it

Where did I write that?

Let her save her allowance and then she can buy what she wants. I'd be saying no to the finance though.

My daughter has an iPhone SE through sky, costs me about 11 quid a month.

If you read your OP you will see there is no reason given for not getting one. You wrote the price, but not that it’s unaffordable for you. So the only other reason you wrote was that iPhone family thing. Hence why everyone is focussed on it. I really don’t know how to explain how the OP reads any better than that.
If the reason is not being able to afford it (which is fine, obviously) write that. 🤷‍♀️

Don’t get the SE it’s what I’ve got and changing it as the battery life is awful

@MrsTerryPratchett Yes, I agree that learning to manage money from a young age is a great life skill and I think your approach is very sensible.

We have tried giving DS money when he meets his friends in town (very infrequent event), but he never spends it. He usually takes a few packets of sweets with him and a bottle of water.

Honestly, it’s nothing to do with me but DS has zero interest in buying stuff of any kind. I still choose all his clothes because he doesn’t seem to have an opinion one way or the other and he never offers any ideas when asking him for gift buying ideas for birthdays and Christmas. He’s definitely a strange fish! The only thing he really enjoys is his music and games. But mostly music. 😂

Oh I got my first iPhone at 14 too 🙈 but I was in boarding school so I didn’t have much convincing to do.

My whole house gets their Apple products off Refurbed. I have a desktop, a laptop, AirPods and an iPhone off them. It’s recycled products. I’ve honestly had no issues with any of their products and I’ve had my iPhone 13 going on 3 years now. I try to do my bit for the planet but it’s hard to stay away from technology so secondhand is my compromise.

Have it for a birthday present or suggest she puts some money towards it.
musicmagpie do great quality second hand iPhones

I can see how that was inferred.
I did also also state that a 14yo with a £600 phone was unnecessary and the likelihood of damage high. Main reasons.

My Ds has I phone so do I ( I have never considered ourselves an apple family 🤣)

they really have there uses finding teens . We have a family app . Means we can both find each other .

we had the life 360 . My Ds kept turning it off as it drained his battery 🤷‍♂️

Haha, I'm getting rid of that damn Iphone family comment.

I got them the iphone. On the understanding it was both Christmas and Birthday present.
Im not an iphone person but both my kids are and this was the deal for both of them. Both have looked after their phones since. I even offered to get DS1 a newer model but he likes his SE.
Neither threw a tantrum. DS2 (14) did some heartstring pulling though. He knows how to play me 😁
If she is paying, I dont see the issue. Just point out that if she breaks it, she still has to pay for it even if she no longer has it, unless she also wants to pay for insurance.

Or put a time on it. You can have it in X months. (Birthday, end of term, some kind of goal) Until that time you need to show me you can save X amount towards the payments and not behave like a toddler about it. The consequence of not taking it seriously is the goal gets pushed back.

we have been buying my child the iPhone SE. it’s a great iPhone for a child because it is less expensive and because it is designed to last multiple years instead of becoming obsolete. It isn’t the latest and greatest iPhone, but it is a good solid device. Dd is on her second version. She is about due for a replacement this fall. If iPhone doesn’t release a new generation se, dd is finally old enough, we will buy her a regular series iPhone. Either way, it will be a Christmas gift.

My teens all have secondhand iphones - they don't have to be hugely expensive.

We get second hand iphones for our kids from backmarket for around £100-150. They are like new.

I think you are getting a hard time here. You are definitely not unreasonable to quiery the need to spend a significant amout of money on the child's phone.
I also understand your comment about not being an Iphone family (I myself much prefer android phones). My dd started with android but moved to iphone later on when she required connectivity between phone, ipad and macbook.
I would probably look into the older/refurbished phones. With the increased muggings of schoolchildren I would definitely be wary of getting a newer model and the cost is quite ridiculous.

What was unpleasant about what I said?